the_etrain

the_etrain, 7 months ago to random

There should be an option to make your Roomba swear when it bumps into things.

the_etrain, 4 months ago to random

Congratulations on your new Neuralink! We hope you enjoy the 30 day free trial of USE OF YOUR HANDS. If you enjoy USE OF YOUR HANDS, you can subscribe to USE OF YOUR HANDS for only $5.99 / month plus applicable sales tax.

the_etrain, 11 months ago to random

Activity Pub? Like, there's coloring books and shit to do while you drink? I'm in.

the_etrain, 1 month ago to random

Inside you are two wolves. They are hungry. They are both named Duran.

the_etrain, 4 months ago to random

I tell people about Mastodon and they say "yes, but are there any cats?" Sister, if there were any more cats, they'd be crawling out of the USB port on my phone.

the_etrain, 7 months ago to random

Python library? Snakes can't read. You're high, man.

the_etrain, 10 months ago to random

I guess a Tweet is now a Twix, and the impending lawsuit is as close as that asshole will ever get to Mars.

the_etrain, 10 months ago to random

The 1950s were so idyllic. Polio season came every year. We didn't have to wonder if the moon landing was faked. Men were men, and they could oppress their families and stunt their emotional growth on a single income.

the_etrain, 8 months ago to random

Pretty obvious what's happened to this missing jet. The orcas have established air superiority. Shit's gonna get wild now.

the_etrain, 5 months ago to random

Yah, I fought in the War on Christmas. Still got tinsel embedded in my arm. They gave me a medal, but nothing silences the elf screams in my head.

the_etrain, 3 months ago to random

Hell yah I've got an HDMI. Hot dog / mouth interface. Also serves as a cereal port.

the_etrain, 9 months ago to random

When Zelma Davis commands "Everybody Dance Now", it is not a simple suggestion. Your job at the C&C Music Factory depends on it.

the_etrain, 3 months ago to random

In Alabama, you CAN count your chickens before they hatch.

the_etrain, 1 year ago to random

Mastodon! I came for the social interaction, but I stayed anyway.

the_etrain, 10 months ago to random

This is fucking amazing. I can drink woke beer, watch woke movies and sports, shave with a woke razor, and shop in woke department stores. It's almost like the angrier bigots get, the happier I am!

the_etrain, 8 months ago to random

I'm still down for sex, drugs, and rock & roll. I just gotta get it all in before 9:30pm.

the_etrain, 5 months ago to random

Why build rockets to blast billionaires into space when we could be building trebuchets to fling them into the ocean?

the_etrain, 11 months ago to random

Um. What?

Nothing like visual aids to put things in perspective.

the_etrain, 4 months ago to random

If you boost someone's toot, your souls become inextricably intertwined. Your fates are now bound together for eternity. Seems drastic, I know, but I don't make the rules.

the_etrain, 1 year ago to random

Give a man a fish and he'll probably cook it in the break room microwave.

the_etrain, 1 month ago to random

I like how social media and news sites call it your "feed". Makes me feel like a farm animal getting fattened up for slaughter so I can be divided up and sold piecemeal to advertisers.

the_etrain, 2 months ago (edited 2 months ago) to random

THE FINAL ROUND!
The winners of all previous rounds, including the 3-way tie in round 7.

Best movie mash-up:

the_etrain, 3 months ago to random

So, if I boost 10 tooters, and all those people boost 10 tooters, and so on, we should all be up to our eyeballs in dopamine by this time tomorrow.

the_etrain, 6 months ago to random

Kids these days will never know the combined defeat of being both lost and unable to re-fold a map.

the_etrain, 4 months ago to random

Fox News leaving me no choice but to become a Swiftie was not on my 2024 bingo card.