@the_etrain@beige.party
@the_etrain@beige.party avatar

the_etrain

@the_etrain@beige.party

-Hailing from parts unknown!
-Purveyor of Fine Toots
-Comma enthusiast
-Humor participant trophy recipient
-Nominated: Taco Bell's Mr. Saucy 2024
-He thinks he's funny / Please humor him

https://justmytoots.com/@the_etrain

#nosearch #nobot #noindex

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

StefanThinks, to random
@StefanThinks@beige.party avatar

I am available to mentor if you are interested in growing your social media followers to dozens and consistently getting 1-2 likes/post.

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

Me: I'm an adult!

Friend: Sure, what did you eat for lunch?

Me, thinking about the Walnut Sticky Bun, Bowl of Bing Cherries, and large handfuls of Corn Chips I ate when I realized I forgot to eat breakfast: Ummm... kind of a salad.

the_etrain, to random
@the_etrain@beige.party avatar

Autocorrect wanted to make peanut butter jelly time into peanut butter Jesus time and I'm about to start a new religion.

GayDeceiver,
@GayDeceiver@mstdn.social avatar

@the_etrain and within a week, you become the Orthodox Peanut Butter Jesus Time Church because of a schism over smooth vs crunchy.

kimlockhartga,
@kimlockhartga@beige.party avatar

@the_etrain

Peanut Butter Jesus,
Where he at?

cookie_mumbles, to random
@cookie_mumbles@ohai.social avatar

Me, a seismologist: [franticly] seis’ does matter!

Alice, (edited ) to random
@Alice@beige.party avatar

My housekeeper is coming in an hour so I just finished deep cleaning my entire home to ensure she doesn't know that I've ever peed in my toilet or spit toothpaste into my sink.

the_etrain, to random
@the_etrain@beige.party avatar

Basic bitch implies the existence of deluxe bitches.

LRRRonEarth,
@LRRRonEarth@beige.party avatar

@the_etrain I AM A PREMIUM BITCH.

Skepticat, to random
@Skepticat@mstdn.social avatar

Good morning, I'm checks notes happy to be here.

donni, to random
@donni@mastodon.social avatar

Apps need to quit calling me by my first name. You are not my friend, robot

Jorsh, to random
@Jorsh@beige.party avatar

Normalize complimenting food by saying, "This shit is scrump, yo."

LikeItOrLumpIt, to random
@LikeItOrLumpIt@mstdn.social avatar

Morning podcast idea:

Me with a weekly guest. Awkward silences except the sound of me slurping coffee, and biting crispy toast.

noondlyt, to random
@noondlyt@mastodon.social avatar

National Cheese DAY, you say??! Aren't they all?!

mentallyalex, to random
@mentallyalex@beige.party avatar

I didn't count on "milkshake justice" being a topic of discussion, but here we are.

Styx, to random
@Styx@mastodon.social avatar

It’s that time of year again, when they try to make tennis sound exciting.

michelestrider, to random
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

We'd throw ice cream on our politicians, too, but the McFlurry machine is broken

LikeItOrLumpIt, to Bloomscrolling
@LikeItOrLumpIt@mstdn.social avatar

Neighbor's bearded iris.

lydialurch, to random
@lydialurch@mastodon.social avatar

Commercials: If you could smell your elbows, you'd know how smelly they are. Fight elbow stank with our aerosol spray.

rockmastermike, to random
@rockmastermike@mastodon.social avatar

All ahead 3/4 fart!

LRRRonEarth, to random
@LRRRonEarth@beige.party avatar

WHIPPING OUT MY RULER AT SUBWAY TO LET THESE HACK SANDWICH ARTISTS KNOW I AM NOT TO BE FUCKED WITH.

TheBreadmonkey, to random
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party avatar

I just remembered I had an amazing idea in my dreams last night. Woke up buzzing thinking it could be an actually genuinely good idea. Now I remember it, I'm not so sure.

Picture this.....

The Disney film 'Inside Out', only it's a grown man.

Characters would be just fucking awful, with Horniness basically in charge of the whole show.

HCBunny, to random
@HCBunny@mstdn.party avatar

I'd throw chowder. Sounds funnier.

rephlex00, to random
@rephlex00@beige.party avatar

The only thing worse than kicking a man while he’s down is kicking a man while he’s in the middle of a sick backflip.

GayDeceiver, to random
@GayDeceiver@mstdn.social avatar

“My milkshakes bring the protesters to my yard.”

adhdeanasl, to random
@adhdeanasl@beige.party avatar

Wearing plain front khakis because I love me some basic britches

the_etrain, to random
@the_etrain@beige.party avatar

This guy's hanging out by my porch light, like it's bug smorgasbord or something.

DaleOh,
@DaleOh@mastodon.social avatar

@the_etrain my little green buddy catching bugs attracted to the garage light

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