If you know an autistic person, you’re probably aware that April is “Autism Awareness Month.” What you might not know, however, is that April is a month of pure hell for #ActuallyAutistic folx.
The concept originated in 1970, when we understood a lot less about autism than we do today. Since then, the month has been co-opted by groups like Autism Speaks for fundraising. But what neurotypical people don’t realize is that the vast majority of these groups are actually
considered to be hate-groups by the #ActuallyAutistic community. So much of the discourse and dialogue around autism has centered NT people. When you consider NTs to be the ‘norm’ and NDs to be outside of that norm, the discussion veers toward “how do we help them be normal?”
Autistic people will have to yet again suffer a month of being talked about by people who don’t think that our opinion matters. Misinformation will spread like wildfire despite autistic people trying their hardest to fight it. Companies and organizations will trot out the color blue and their puzzle pieces to show how much they "care”
Another fun fact: the puzzle piece is not the symbol that #ActuallyAutistic people identify with. In fact, if you see an organization use a puzzle piece as part of its logo or website, you can be 100% guaranteed that they’re on the wrong side of autism. So yes, April is going to be hard for us. /8
#ActuallyAutistic people appreciate routines and sameness, which means we are familiar with "getting used to something". Many of us tried very hard to get used to "normal" things (e.g. driving a car) to the point we got traumatized and wondered why life hurts so much. So if an Autistic person tells you they can't do something because of sensory issues or other aspects of their disability, don't tell them they will get used to it.
since am one of those #ActuallyAutistic people Dx at the tender age of 50 (yes, 50. and yes am older now, shut up), am not acquainted with the american rituals of national days or awareness months involving autism.
I am a veteran software engineer who works as a freelancer from their home.
I love modernizing ancient software by carefully, slowly rewriting while it is still operating - without disruptions.
Currently I have two wonderful, awesome, really amazing clients between whom I split my time roughly about 50:50.
For the first one, I am the "Primus inter pares" in a team rewriting a 20-yo C++ & JS-based system in modern nodeJS + Typescript. My main job there is not to write code (it seems), but review PRs, review code, give coding guidelines, merge PRs, and make sure everything my team needs is there: test servers, development server, on-premise Gitlab, on-premise Mattermost, a good/respectful/lovely atmosphere, a lot of fun, and what else we need to deliver an awesome product. The team is amazing, the atmosphere is full of respect and love; I will stay with this team as long as I can.
For the second client, I am rewriting a 15+ year old system (Java, Java/Swift/Vue1.x-FE; rpc-like crap-API) using go(BE), gRPC (API) and dart/flutter (FE).
Here I am the core developer for the new client and the new back-end. The back-end is, for now, a proxy/a wrapper around the existing one. Behind that wrapper, two wonderful co-workers are modernizing & optimizing the Java-BE. This team here is equally as lovely as one can ever hope for; and yes, I will stay with this team as long as I can as well.
Oh, and BTW: people in both teams are nearly 100% remote.
I am married to a wonderful, an absolutely amazing person who is so full of love that she sometimes struggles with the universe (or with humanity). And I am a proud father (yes, "father"*) of a woman with a brilliant Beautiful Mind and a heart as big as the universe (who also happens to have Mastery of Words™️).
I love learning new things from complete strangers. The stranger the new knowledge the more fascinating it is for me.
I have a #FragMyBrain (autistic, ocd, nd) so be ready for detailed explanations, where each word is carefully chosen & positioned in the sentence, but still some missing - when you ask me something.
I quickly fall in love with brilliant people with language mastery skills - Mastery of Words™️.
You can always shitpost with me & talk garbage - as long as it is done intelligently, with wit & humor, and respect.
The fastest way to land on my block list is not to make a mistake, but to repeatedly make the same stupid mistake again and again and insist on it being right. There is always enough space in the "Dungeon of Blocked Accounts" (and being racists, queer-/transphobic, ableist, disrespectful, white supremecist, etc., etc. - you know what I mean).
I will add CW and mark as sensitive whenever I think so. If I forget once, please inform me and I'll correct it as fast as I can. I don't discuss whether something needs CW/sensitive marker or not, I just accept it.
I wear my feelings on my skin, i.e. what you see is how I really am, there is no IRL Imdat Celeste and a different, Fediverse Imdat Celeste: you will see a lot of 🫂,💜,😍,🥰,🥹,😳... and more. If you feel it is intruding, please let me know.
I come over differently, but I am also insecure: so, I will add a lot of emojis - just to be sure.
Also, please don't expect a "normal person" here: I am completely, utterly, hopelessly an un-normal person.
Also, my posts my start with one specific topic but during the text itself it may just become something completely different - "Train of Thought".
Again, nice to meet you - I am always looking for more new friends...
*: I am a trans non-binary person. When I came out to her, my daughter asked me how she should call me from then on and since it is an honor to be her father, that, yeah, I am and will always be that.
I don't like on how this is the 3rd time I'm asking for help during this situation, but this is the only way I can do to help.
We have been in some progress since last time, we're currently working on gaining the ability to buy a house throughout the weeks up till now. And so far, we're waiting on a word from them telling on what're we suppose to do next.
While we're waiting for that, we do need help with keeping up with the hotel room, food and bills while also saving up for the house. Every bit helps!
To all my #ActuallyAutistic brethren (in the US) so there's three salaried positions at ASAN (Autistic Self Advocacy Network) I'm not eligible but I thought someone else might be. They are offering remote working & actively employ #Autistic people.
Please share because these sound like amazing roles & there's waaayyy too much unemployment & underemployment for us.
This has been said before, by many people, and far better than I will. But it bears repeating, probably as often as it can be.
Autism is a neurological difference. We think and process differently. We just don't work in the same ways as others. Most of us, growing up, are more than aware of this. But not necessarily why, or to what degree. We just recognise that we are different. But, this isn't exactly something that can be discussed. Often the feeling is nebulous at best, other times it can feel embarrassing and far too personal. But in any case, trying to talk about things like this, especially as children, is never going to be a particularly safe or wise choice.
So instead, we bury the feelings deeply and try to get on with life as best we can. This is normally done through learning to mask and in avoiding as much as possible those situations where our difference is made most noticeable. In fact, many of us get so good at this that we can wander for years, or even decades, through life without ever reaching the understanding that we are autistic.
But when we do reach this stage, it involves a process of coming to terms with it and understanding what it means. It requires months, often years, of research to come to terms with and to overcome the false stereotypes and ableism that many of us carry. This is what is called self-diagnosis and sometimes it is as far as we go. For many of us it is enough, or we have reached a point in our lives where getting an official diagnosis is not worth it. Or even possible. Many systems, whether on purpose or not, make it all but impossible for people over a certain age, or people of colour, or female presenting, to be able to get officially diagnosed. Or it is simply too prohibitively expensive to even try.
It is for this reason that the vast majority of autistic spaces welcome all those who think they are actually autistic, even those that are only just beginning to explore the notion, the self-diagnosed and the officially diagnosed. Because this is all the actually means, that we think we are autistic, as opposed to those who aren't, but who still want to speak on behalf of or about autism. It is also why the actuallyautistic hashtag and @actuallyautistic group are open to us all too, not to divide autistics into those diagnosed and those not. Because that is simply a distinction over the route to the knowledge, not the knowledge itself.