SELF DIAGNOSIS / SELF AWARENESS IS MORE THAN LEGITIMATE
If you insist that only formal dx is legitimate you are engaging in oppression. It's classist, it's racist, it's ableist. Formal dx is a PRIVILEGE.
That being said, if you want to gain a formal dx for yourself, that is MORE THAN OK. For full disclosure, I possess a formal DX. I was privileged to get one. I don't gate-keep others out to make myself feel "more autistic". No one is “less autistic” because others find out about themselves in a different way than you.
As an adult who was recently diagnosed (in my early 40s) with autism, I’ve been reading the experiences of other neurodiverse people (eg #ActuallyAutistic ) online. It has been awesome and has helped me understand myself and my struggles (past and present) a lot better.
However, one thing that hurts my feelings is when someone expresses anger at all parents of autistic children. Not just THEIR parents, but blanket statements. 1/
Like, I understand your parents may have been abusive, but don’t generalize please.
Someone on Reddit the other day claimed that all parents of autistic kids are blatantly lying about loving their autistic kids.
Dude, I get that you’re upset about your parents. I get that you think nobody reading that will be hurt. But some of us #ActuallyAutistic people have autistic kids too! (Likelihood of autism is genetic, after all.) 2/
@cohomologyisFUN I agree with you that making blanket statements should be avoided. However, some of us #ActuallyAutistic people had equally autistic parents (a father in my case) who abused us and who actively prevented us from being diagnosed as children and teens since our autism looked different than theirs and thus had to be us “being difficult on purpose”.
@cohomologyisFUN You have a point that many #ActuallyAutistic people likely have parents or grandparents who are on the spectrum. It’s very naive to assume that just because someone is autistic, they wouldn’t abuse another autist if they held power over them. Autists are a diverse group of people and that unfortunately includes assholes, too.
hi, i'm rune! :heart_disability: i'm nonbinary (she/her), bi/pan, polyamorous, pro-kink, and more! despite my limited spoons, i’m fascinated by most everything in the world, including...
gaming (ffxiv, minecraft…) :gaming_love:
writing (prose, poetry, roleplay…) 🖋️
reading (sff, romance…) 📚
programming & math :blobfox_computer:
music (listening, performing, & composing) 🎹
psychology & philosophy :galaxy_brain:
visual art (illustration, animation, 3D…) 🎨
the list goes on! and there are so many fascinating things in the world i haven’t even heard of yet!
i'm an ADHD autist and i love getting to know people, but still learning how to make room for myself. i also suffer from complex PTSD and other disabilities, which have resulted in my plurality. i’m happy to meet singlets and other systems alike! :plural_ampersand:
i care deeply about accessibility and disability rights, queer rights, racial equality—really the whole spectrum of human rights (intersectionality is important!) as well as animal rights and environmental issues. honestly, i just care a whole-heckin-lot! :heart_progress: :ms_globe:
unfortunately, this causes a lot of overwhelm and i’m struggling to balance effective activism with self-care. so i might not always be able to engage or research as thoroughly as i’d like. i do what i can to make informed choices and reduce harm, and i’m hoping to curate a space for myself that offers at least some relief from the dumpster fire we live in. :dumpster_fire:
there's probably still a million-billion things i'd like to add but can't remember. above all, the most important thing you need to know about me is that my favorite color is blue. :ms_heart_blue:
Hey so something I only figured out recently is that low level anxiety makes me feel really irritable and fighty.
And low level anxiety has a way of spiralling up to full blown anxiety.
So if you find yourself arguing with people online, that might be a sign that it's time to step back and concentrate on looking after yourself for a bit.
Splash cold water on your face, watch some funny animal videos, cuddle your dog, be kind to yourself.
Thanks to all of my #ActuallyAutistic comrades who have voiced their support for my work and my right to exist as a human. Some have denied my actual humanity here recently and it’s been very distressing. I’m very appreciative to everyone for their virtual hugs and solidarity.
Of course I understand why some in the @actuallyautistic community don’t like me. You are free to unfollow or mute me. I understand that you think it’s “unethical” for me to charge for some of my services, time, energy, and spoons. I don’t agree and I will go as fas to say that this idea is internalized NT ableism. Autistic professionals are allowed to work in the autistic community. We are allowed to literally not starve to death while we are spending 12-18 hours per day working with the community. Because I’m aware that most of us cannot or do not work, the vast majority of my services are unpaid or reduced to a nominal amount to cover expenses. That will still offend some of you, and for that I cannot apologize, I can only ask you to mute or unfollow me.
Many of the above accusations are connected to the fact that I am a Jewish person. This cannot be accepted here. This community suffers from transphobia, homophobia, racism of all sorts. It makes me sad to see that amongst our community that people feel that they can feel comfortable to call me a Shylock, a con-artist “like the rest of you”, and even to step into a gas chamber. I ask everyone here who abhors racism to speak out against such comments and the common tropes used here against Jewish people. You don’t have to like ME, but you should not be OK with this in our community.
Despite being diagnosed as a child, it wasn’t until much later in life that I discovered that being autistic wasn’t a curse. The autism-positive community saved my life. It helped me find myself and be the person I am today. For that I am grateful and that is why I am here. I want to help everyone here discover themsleves and live their best lives.
I would appreciate it if people could help me get more federated on my new instance. Please boost this post if any of the following tags apply to you so I can follow!
Found this blog post via reddit /r/AutismTranslated, it talks about Abed, an Autistic character from the TV Show "Community" and how he's mostly a good/accurate representation of autism and how the author relates to him.
Ableism at its core is discrimination or prejudice against individuals with disabilities. Ableism characterizes people as defined by their disabilities and inferior to the non-disabled.
Folks, do any of you remember a blog post that used "gears" as a simple metaphor for how much capacity/energy a person has at a given day or point in life?
Gist was that the lowest gear is "just do what's needed to survive" and the highest gear is when you might be able to work towards complex goals/projects/etc?
Pretty sure it was in the context of Spoons Theory, maybe also neurodiversity. I think I saw it on here, but don't seem to have bookmarked it.
(More context: I've found the metaphor useful, and I want to share the post with a neurodiverse friend who is dealing with some very difficult events but also beating themselves up for not progressing their other work/life goals at the moment. I just can't find the post!)
A question for other #ActuallyAutistic people: do you feel the term "developmentally delayed" applies to you? It definitely applies to my daughter and looking back on my own life, I see it applied to me too, though I don't know if anyone realized it.
If you're an older adult, do you feel like you've "caught up?"
I think I accidently sabotaged my acct & offended people.
very unhappy face
A few wks ago I said I prefer stars to boosts. I was trying to express how stars give me such happy feelings.
But in hindsight I'm afraid that read as snotty & ungrateful. Bc it's been much much quieter ever since. And I have that sick feeling I get when I've misread a social situation & insulted everyone.
Feeling a bit haunted today. Been doing a lot of thinking about friendship and how I've historically been very fucking bad at maintaining them because I forget people are there if I'm not in regular physical contact with them. I know this is down to neurodiversity (and I am particularly bad at friends) but it's hard to not beat yourself up and worry you're upsetting people by being yourself #actuallyautistic
People tend to say the solution to this is making neurodiverse friends but even among them I'm bad at friendship maintenance. It's a shame I actually like being around people. It feels like a cruel trick. I'm good at hooking people but horrible at keeping them on the line #actuallyautistic