vlrny, 
So here's a happy development.
I have become familiar and comfortable enough with the my housecleaner that it isn't really stressful or disruptive to have her come.
For a long time I had to put off a cleaning because I couldn't cope with the intrusion.
Granted I hide in my bedroom with headphones on while she vacuums, but it is a system and pattern I understand now and I can roll with.
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