rune

@rune@cutie.city

[follow requests are on, and i'm thinning my follower list, because i'm overwhelmed. prioritizing mutuals for now.]

i am a system of proudly autistic, kinetic (adhd), queer, and poly alters. i love art (especially storytelling) in its many forms, including visual art, video, literature, music, games. i enjoy programming as well, and math relaxes me. tell me about your special interests! :)

i am over 21 (on the younger side of millenial, if you want to narrow it down) and may occasionally post or reblog content not suitable for minors. please don't follow if you're under 18. ♥

header: a whole bunch of math charts and formulas, by dan cristian pădureț on unsplash.com

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

teacherbuknoy, to random
@teacherbuknoy@masto.ai avatar

I am today years old when I found out that Nginx is actually pronounced as "engine X".

I just walk around in God's green earth, saying "ngeeengks" the entire time 😭

rune,

@teacherbuknoy no i refuse to accept this.

it is en-Gin-ix (rhymes with Linux)

you can't make me say it in my head any different :axolotl_cry:

rune,

@teacherbuknoy @kalayo OKAY BUT HOW DO YOU SAY KLEENEX???

rune,

@teacherbuknoy @kalayo

but... kleenex is clean-ex so linux would be lean-ex... :axolotl_shock:

rune, to random

i know it's basically like a defining feature of autism to struggle with understanding social things and bump a lot of elbows

but i feel like a lot of my social experiences have been very intense. often it seems like people either love me, hate me, or love me THEN hate me...

to this day i don't understand the patterns that define how people act towards me. even if i couldn't prevent it, i wish i could predict it.

making friends has become so unnerving given the number of times things have abruptly gone south.

rune,

it's often been that the moment i tried to set boundaries, they flip. i think THAT has been a recurring theme my entire life, because i was only a teen when i started saying "we're not friends until after our first fight."

as an adult i have a healthier version of that, but yeah, i don't really trust anyone until we've navigated, survived, and resolved some kind of hardship (it definitely doesn't have to be a fight).

i would like to know a better way to spot the people who would fail that test before they fail it, because it's absolutely devastating for me to go through over and over again

endali, to random

ah yes, the 2 genders

rune,

@endali aroo!

rune, to random

okay new avvie is LIVE! we'll see how i feel about it later :cat_giggle: but here's a bigger version of it, plus the link where you can make your own!

https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/1194424

studiofox, to random

@nuz I was explaining to my partner that I’d never be able to eat sunflower seeds again without falling over and crying and they whipped out this hidden bag of shelled sunflower seeds. Science is amazing.

rune,

@studiofox @ivy @nuz this is how i always eat sunflower seeds! i practically drink the bag they're so good :frog_drool:​

rune, to random

today, my gender is: ???
(it is almost always ???)

nuz, (edited ) to random

are sunflower seeds supposed to taste and feel like wood splinters, or is this because i bought the super duper cheap ones? :neofox_not_like_this_derp:​

rune,

@nuz my gut instinct is that you ate the shell and i don't think you're supposed to???

rune,

@nuz pale beige smol thing on the left: eat

bigger hard black & white striped shell: do not eat

i've bitten them before (trying to figure out how to get the edible part out i think lol) and that's the closest thing i would think of as feeling like biting wood, lol.

the edible part could taste like wood to you theoretically??? but in my opinion it's basically the consistency of a soft nut (think cashews but tiny).

if you ARE eating the inside and not the shell, and it feels like a wood splinter or something,

A B O R T

rune,

honestly i feel that for so many foods :doge_laugh:​ how are we supposed to know?!?!

i certainly did not know how to shell them and always got pre-shelled ones and have already learned from this thread as well xD

rune, to random

i noticed i've been dealing with a weird kind of FOMO and insecurity lately, but it's not actually anything new...

there were a lot of things i missed out on as a kid and young adult. but i have always been an imaginative and creative person, and probably for over a decade my main hobby was roleplaying. so i definitely had a creative outlet and was participating in a nerdy subculture i loved.

but i was also surrounded with stuff like neopets and the cool pet pages other players would make, and the art they would draw of their pets. or people made neocities pages. and people hung out in forums and had eggs in their signatures that would hatch if enough people clicked them.

i'm seeing so much nostalgia for those things since coming to fedi. i love it, but it also brings me grief. like so many things, i didn't actually miss out on these things. for one thing, they obviously still exist, and for another, i was there when they were first popular.

but the joy and creativity i know i had as a teen isn't available to me.

instead, i am feeling so BAD about myself because i didn't draw my neopets and i didn't make a cool pet page or neocities site or write fanfiction, i am and always have been a wannabe...

except i DID DO THOSE THINGS ???

not always the same exact things, but factually speaking, i know that i wrote fan-fiction. i didn't draw my neopets—in fact, i designed new original pokemon and mashed together pieces from numerous board games to make a neopet-pokemon tabletop rpg before i even knew what a ttrpg was.

i had one of those decked out character myspace pages. i made themes and skins for the forums i used, and even tried my hand at running my own.

I DID ALL THOSE THINGS

and i STILL hate myself because i STOPPED doing them and i CAN'T seem to figure out how to do it again, and i can't even cherish the memories because even though i know i did all those cool things it just feels like i'm talking about a different person

because i'm just the person who talks about all those fun creative things i wanna do but never does any of them

and so i will continue to watch from the sidelines as others revel in the colorful nostalgia of an era i can only see in gray

rune, to random

if you hire me you get like 20 employees for the price of one, and we all have decades of experience with "system administration" :'3

(joke explanation & context: i am plural and thus am part of a plural system of several identities living in one body, hence "system admin" pun and 20 employees for the price of one. my plurality is caused by trauma and generally considered to be a very severe mental illness.)

rune, to random

fellas, am i gay ?

lithisto, to random

by that i mean reply w ur username or dm dont just fav the post

rune,

@lithisto fr fr, join us you nerds!!!

we offer:

  • unlimited cherry trees
  • llamas who don't respect your personal space
  • instructions for disabling chat filters on your account, so you can tell everyone about the cute little dee-oh-see-kay you built by the riverside

and for a limited time only, after you build your first idyllic cubic home away from home, i will personally egg your house! for free!

(no for real, the chickens are free-range)

ivy, to random

behold:
the deathinator

rune,

@ivy i love them little heckers

rune, to random

feeling sad and self destructive
i need time to myself, but i'm lonely
i wanna make bad decisions

rune, to random

good morning & med check! :3

rune, to random

OMG BE STILL MY GAY HEART
THE QUESTING QUEENS

https://youtu.be/khZVjQL74qE

eniko, to random
@eniko@peoplemaking.games avatar

If I were a Flintstone
Yabba dabba dabba dabba dabba dabba dabba doo
All day long, I'd yabba dabba doo
If I were a Fred Flintstone

rune,

@eniko perfection

ivy, to random

bite me once, shame on you
bite me twice, shame on me

Gaslight me into thinking you're changed and them bite me, go fuck yourself

rune,

@ivy :birb_heart:​ <-- as many of these as you need, and then as many as you want on top of that

rune, to random

(this is a joke, so don't be mislead by the introduction lol)

as of today, i will no longer refer to myself as non-binary.

it's true that many things cannot be represented in binary, but gender absolutely IS binary.

the issue is that someone incorrectly conflated binary with bit, or binary digit. a single binary digit has two possible values: 0 or 1.

however, a gender is a 64-bit value. that means there are about 18,446,744,073,709,552,000 possible genders in binary. that's 2,305,843,009 times larger than our current global population of about 8 billion.

another common misunderstanding is that each person has only a single gender value. in fact, each person has a mutable collection of genders. our best scientists don't yet know the maximum amount of gender this collection can contain at any time, but it's at least 128 and the collection can grow, shrink, or change values at any time.

so if you raise 18 quintillion to the 128th power, that's the minimum number of possible gender profiles a person can have at one moment in time—all within a single kilobyte of data in binary.

i really wanted to clear this up for people. i hope it helps.

[yes of course i had to edit for typos and math accuracy lmfao]

rune, to random

i think i blew out my socializing fuse again

oopsie

rune, to random

me when one of my posts takes off lol (hi everyone!)

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