As an adult who was recently diagnosed (in my early 40s) with autism, I’ve been reading the experiences of other neurodiverse people (eg #ActuallyAutistic ) online. It has been awesome and has helped me understand myself and my struggles (past and present) a lot better.
However, one thing that hurts my feelings is when someone expresses anger at all parents of autistic children. Not just THEIR parents, but blanket statements. 1/
Like, I understand your parents may have been abusive, but don’t generalize please.
Someone on Reddit the other day claimed that all parents of autistic kids are blatantly lying about loving their autistic kids.
Dude, I get that you’re upset about your parents. I get that you think nobody reading that will be hurt. But some of us #ActuallyAutistic people have autistic kids too! (Likelihood of autism is genetic, after all.) 2/
In my case, and I’m coming to understand that this is NOT an uncommon experience, I didn’t realize I might be autistic until my kid was diagnosed, and I learned about autism as a result.
If you want to complain about your own parents, that’s cool. In fact, I WANT to hear it, because it helps me better understand how to parent my own autistic kid. But it’s really hurtful to tell me I don’t love my kid. /end
@cohomologyisFUN I agree with you that making blanket statements should be avoided. However, some of us #ActuallyAutistic people had equally autistic parents (a father in my case) who abused us and who actively prevented us from being diagnosed as children and teens since our autism looked different than theirs and thus had to be us “being difficult on purpose”.
@cohomologyisFUN You have a point that many #ActuallyAutistic people likely have parents or grandparents who are on the spectrum. It’s very naive to assume that just because someone is autistic, they wouldn’t abuse another autist if they held power over them. Autists are a diverse group of people and that unfortunately includes assholes, too.
@suksisauvasekoitin certainly, of course, autistic parents can be bad or abusive too! I was just hurt by the blanket statement that all parents of autistic kids are faking their love and affection.
Edit: my point is that this person might not have realized they would hurt anyone’s feelings because maybe they didn’t realize any parents of autistic kids were in the audience.
Add comment