I guess instance migration is a good time for an #Introduction post. Hello lovely people, I'm here both as a scientific researcher and as a human being, and you can expect a range of genres of posts and interactions from me.
On the work side, I'm a computational scientist at Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory in the field of biological X-ray crystallography, specifically at free electron lasers. It's a glorious interdisciplinary mess, and the description I give to non-scientists is that i use my degree in chemistry to write software to do math that models the physics of experiments that we're running to learn about biology.
For fellow structural biologists: I work on crystallography data reduction software for the steps between photons hitting the detector and a merged set of structure factors. I also support XFEL experiments, both on site and remotely, and assist in post-experiment data processing as needed. My PhD focused on using simultaneous XFEL crystallography and XES spectroscopy to probe the water splitting reaction in oxygenic photosynthesis. I did a postdoc in computational methods development for cryoEM, and I'm now back to XFEL crystallography but still in methods development.
For fellow software developers: all of our work is open source and mostly under the cctbx project/repo. It's mostly python with a bunch of C++ under the hood (including some low-level stuff redundant with scipy and numpy because those weren't around yet!), plus a user-facing wxPython GUI. More recently we've done a ton of work with GPU acceleration (using Kokkos, for NVIDIA, Intel and AMD architectures) and scaling up at three different national labs' supercomputing centers in anticipation of next-gen experimental capabilities. I derive too much joy from writing bash-sed-awk monstrosities on the occasions we need them to fix an urgent problem during an experiment, and I guess I'm most proud of the fact that I somewhat understand git.
As far as hobbies, the longest-standing one is probably #coffee, followed closely by #language (s) / #languageLearning and a love of #patterns and #symmetry in various contexts. I have too many different ways of making coffee (they have overrun my coffee cupboard), but my favorite remains the classic latte, and by now I can make a better latte than I can buy. I'm trying to refresh my #Japanese and learn #Dutch and #German simultaneously/comparatively, which of course is terrible for speed of learning, but fascinating. So far I've found #ASL the most challenging but also deeply satisfying -- I only have one semester under my belt but hope to take a lot more. I studied and continue to study all the #math and #science I possibly can. Right now I seem to be pretty engrossed in #electronics, #CAD, #3DPrinting, and just generally #DIY-ing/fixing/repairing things. Other active interests include #sewing, #reading, #cooking, #bike commuting, and #publicTransit. My journeys in #aikido and #pottery are on hold but I definitely want to pick them back up when I'm not already overcommitted. I'm casually interested in #neurophilosophy, #neuropsychology, #neurodivergence and #neuroscience. I've taken one course in neurophilosophy and can read literature in the rest, with effort.
On a personal note, I'm trans and nonbinary and very open about it -- I transitioned back when I had to explain what that meant. I've retired from some forms of community engagement and support but I'm very happy to answer any questions I can about the US legal and medical landscapes, available resources, policy and terminology best practices, or whatever you know you shouldn't ask [person in your life].
Finally, I spend a lot of time with my cat Rory (pictured), who is perfect and the most affectionate creature I have ever met. I promise to share photos of him from time to time.
Still trying to figure out who in my family is neurodivergent and how.
Seems like there is a pattern emerging: If both parents are neurodivergent, chances for the kids to be is at almost 100%. If only one parent is, chances seem to be about 50/50.
Anyone know if there are actual studies on that or is there just not enough data from past generations?
@looneybyron@pathfinder This gets me to wondering though… if indeed #neurodivergence is inherited and not recessive, then won’t it quickly become the new normative expectation? Seems like #evolution to me… 😁
the job i had wanted since i was a kid was the wrong job for me.
i have no career now and i'm also unemployable.
you know, i never developed a social life and i never started a family. it wasn't important to me at 20 or 30 but now, at 40, it feels like something's missing.
i'm an adult now and i'm no longer very interested in the hobbies i had at 20. there's nothing to do now.
i have a drinking problem.
why could i never do housework properly? oh, right, the #AuDHD...
i have nothing to lose, so i guess i'll try to ask the government to help me.
practical home assistance granted. admitted to back-to-work programme. applied for a social support contact today, to give myself more to do.
i'm nothing at the moment. i was broken down and now i have to build a new me, from scratch.
@chrislw i was in my early 30s when i began suspecting something wasn't right. i knew i was different but chalked it up to being a nerd until i began running into problems and they grew bigger and bigger. i saw a psychiatrist in public healthcare about it. he dismissed #ADHD and said i had mild #ASD, but didn't seem very confident about it. there's no treatment for that and it isn't supposed to cause much trouble so i just kept trying to work for the next ~5 years.
i landed what i thought was a good job with nice colleagues, but felt myself beginning to struggle again, and that's when i contacted an independent psychiatrist with ADHD expertise to get a second opinion. he dismissed the ASD diagnosis and concluded it was ADHD, and he seemed confident about that.
the ADHD part always seemed to match me better, but i'm thinking there's some ASD in there as well, seeing as a lot of nerds are on the spectrum. the label AuDHD feels fitting here. some kind of #neurodivergence. spicy brain.
Whether a person is neurodivergent or not has no bearing on whether they are capable of making sense when they speak. It has no bearing on whether they are worthy of being listened to. And it has no bearing on whether they are capable of understanding you.
If you dismiss someone's opinion or insights on the basis of their neurodivergence, that is ableism, and you are being an asshole. That does not change if you extend them pity because they are disabled. In fact, it makes it a thousand times worse.
If you disagree with what someone who is neurodivergent or otherwise disabled has said, disagree with their words. Point out the error of their words. That's fine. But if you drag who they are into the argument and use it as a reason to ignore what they are saying, even if you don't say so out loud, you're the asshole.
Randall would state that all things considered the glass is filled with water by 50% and the most likely will be emptied in due time. Then would follow an explanation on where the philosophical metaphor comes from.
It came to be a story about the absurdities of war, civil wars in particular, about what makes people strong or weak, about battling with #OCD and coming to terms with #neurodivergence and with #grief. I included my love for Irish folk music and history. And it has a #demisexual falling in love, so there's #romance too. I now just need to finish it...
And of course what continues to inspire it is having an engaged readership in @floofpaldi@DoctorMonkey2 and @QuokkaMocha
I am furthermore proud of how he deals with his #OCD and #neurodivergence that always gets in his way. Not only does he manage them, he also uses the special abilities they give him.
I am also proud of Lix. She really never gives up and tries to save the day, even if she doesn't always manage. I am even more proud that after years of trying to suppress all her emotions and just act cold and rational, she is able to open up, and if only a little bit.