chronomyst

chronomyst, 8 months ago to random

My dentist might use a little too much laughing gas, and charge a bit too much for a lap dance, and might not be a dentist, but the work is superb.

chronomyst, 8 months ago to random

I don't know, honestly. I just needed to repost for posterity. This is how I feel in the "real world."

chronomyst, 9 months ago to random

remember to spay and neuter your conservatives

chronomyst, 7 months ago to random

A short history of me on Mastodon.

Day 1: Hello world! I'm a legitimate person!

Day 10: I love the fun interactions everyone is so nice!

Day 30: There's an hourly kitten bot? Cute!

Day 60: #FollowFriday!

Day 90: Capitalism sucks but what are you going to do.

Day 100: I'm self radicalizing!

Day 120: I'm trans!

Day 150: I'm getting divorced!

Day 180: FUCK PATRIARCHY DEATH TO THE NATION STATE

chronomyst, 7 months ago to random

Tonight I'm choosing combustion over vaporization.

It feels like a night to burn one down.

chronomyst, 10 months ago to random

Self-sufficiency is greatly overvalued in our culture. Of far greater value is recognition of our inextricable interdependency.

chronomyst, 7 months ago to random

I sleep with a Monster Snorkel

chronomyst, 7 months ago to random

fund libraries, motherfuckers

chronomyst, 9 months ago to random

amanita fruiting body

chronomyst, 8 months ago to random

Not only does NONE of Flock of Seagulls' discography include a single song about a seagull, but moreover, none of the bandmembers were of Seagull ancestry.

chronomyst, 7 months ago to random

This old photo still fills even my frozen heart with a trickle of warmth.

chronomyst, 7 months ago to random

The thing about zombies that's not scary is they would be rapidly pecked apart by crows and seagulls.

chronomyst, 7 months ago to random

Nothing more to life :)

chronomyst, 7 months ago to random

my we have fun

chronomyst, 6 months ago to random

"I said I'm a professsional shitposter, Your Honor," I repeat, as my public defender buries his face in his palms.

chronomyst, 6 months ago to random

Frankincense and Myrrh? In THIS economy?

chronomyst, 6 months ago to random

It's 2023, but we're still killing in the name of God like it's fucking 1023.

chronomyst, 6 months ago to random

I love games that are relatable to my lived day-to-day reality.

chronomyst, 6 months ago to random

hi, mask up in public

chronomyst, 6 months ago to random

Who would be part of my imaginary pirate crew?

I yield position of captain, I would only like to be a Swabby.

However I will remark that most pirate crews were anarchic and egalitarian, but how you choose to structure your own floating world with me is a conversation we need to have.

AND THAT CONVERSATION STARTS...I don't know when? I'm a pitiful anarchist.

chronomyst, 5 months ago to random

Let's make "By Cthulhu's Tentacles!" into an exclamation.

chronomyst, 4 months ago to random

"The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets."

chronomyst, 7 months ago to random

It's fine to sin as long as you do it before Jesus is born on December 25th. That's when Christianity starts.

chronomyst, 7 months ago to random

Work is just a bad sidequest that doles out shitty loot and distracts from the Main Quest.

chronomyst, 7 days ago to random

Give yourself a raise by being less productive at work.