I don't know if anyone else has gone through this. I've started #writing a new play. It's awesome and flowing, but it's triggering the fuck out of me. I won't go into details. I thought it would be fine and easy going and it is. But after I write, my mood crashes. It's not just the subject matter. It's the act of opening up. Has anyone else gone through something like this? It's fucking exhausting and I'm questioning if I should write at all. #writerscommunity#writerscoffeeclub#AuDHD#ptsd
About 80% of being late-diagnosed #neurodivergent (#ADHD, #autistic, or #Audhd) is finding out that we're not horrible fuckups who lack the willpower or moral fortitude to function like the normies. But rather that our brains just run on different firmware and we were never taught how deal with.
My seemingly biennial reminder to stop emotionally investing so much into being a member of a WoW Guild.
Having #AuDHD means making friends for me is difficult IRL. As such, I tend to over-invest emotionally when I become part of a WoW Guild, because it becomes my main source of social activity/interaction.
However it appears that this investment turns out to be more one-sided than I hope for most of the time, and again that turns out to be the case this time...
n. the state of not knowing how you really feel about something, which forces you to sift through clues hidden in your own behavior, as if you were some other person — noticing a twist of acid in your voice, an obscene amount of effort you put into something trifling, or an inexplicable weight on your shoulders that makes it difficult to get out of bed.
It has come to my attention I never made an introduction post 😅
Hey Fediverse! My name is Daniella, I'm a Trans girl living on sighs Terf island :drake_dislike:
I'm a retro & indie gamer, a fan of independent adult animation and have Autism, Anxiety and ADHD. Triple word score, baby! (Uh, I never really got the hang of scrabble.)
Looking to connect with others, esp. from the UK! :bowsette:
Had a big videocall at work today and suddenly realized I am avoiding eye contact even in videocalls. Like, I subconsciously avoid looking at people who are looking at the camera, even if they are those who’re talking. I look at those who look away, I look at those who sit too far from the camera to actually see where they’re looking, I look at myself, I look at Slack’s UI, I constantly remind myself to not look over the screen, but can’t help glancing. Anything but looking at those who seemingly look at me. Even though they are not actually here and most time in those group calls it means they are not actually looking at me.
Other #autistic folks, do you find it easier to look people in the eyes in video-calls or do you struggle with it too? @actuallyautistic #neurodivergent #AuDHD
A friend shared this short film by her Autistic daughter, who’s about to start at college. This is her attempt to “capture [my] feelings that [I get] of anxiety or stress when under pressure.”
1 - Think of a thing to post to Mastodon
2 - Pick up phone to post said thing
3 - Get distracted by phone notifications
4 - Read and clear notifications for 5 minutes
5 - Forget what I was doing and just mooch on phone for 15 minutes.
6 - Put phone down
** Some variable amount of time passes. **
7 - Remember what I wanted to post and pick up phone.
8 - Return to step 3. @actuallyadhd #ADHD#AuDHD#Neurospicy
New-to-me instance, so I suppose I should do an #intro again -- and pin it.
Late-realized #ActuallyAutistic#AuDHD#GenX#Enby and more or less lifelong Kansan living once more in the blue bubble of #LFK. In one year I will have lived in my current house as long as I lived anywhere else in my entire life. That is kind of scary to me.
I have no idea what I said as an intro when I joined Mastodon in late 2022. I had just gotten slapped by the book of face because I said I wanted to drive to Texas to punch a Nazi. That'll tell you a lot about who I actually am.
I'm still #Novid because masking is punk as fuck, as is caring about other people in your community -- not just the shiny loud ones who are always talking and saying everything is fine.
It's not.
I believe it's going to be some version of OK, but it's going to be really different, and it might be pretty difficult, and a lot of people are going to be really uncomfortable -- but you probably already know that.
I love reading, learning, sleeping, foraging, unlearning, listening, learning to repair things, and being quiet for long stretches. I grow as much food and medicine as I can on my own small property. I try to be a good steward and give back to the land and the animals.
I am a chicken tender, and they are the joy of my existence. Those goofy birds helped me get through some really rough years recently. When you've got creatures that you have to get up and tend to many times a day, there's a reason to keep your feet on the ground on this earth for a while.
I have two dogs, three cats, and never enough time to do all the learning and reading or even work that I want to do.
I've been in my profession of bodywork for over 30 years and still love it. I'm only able to work part time due to my AuDHD and chronic physical conditions, so my work fits my needs very well.
I'm redheaded, left-handed, short, fat, and existentially angry most of the time, but I am also one of those people that will usually shut up after complaining and try to find a solution.
I'm a #meditator, meditation teacher, certified #yoga teacher, certified listener #poet, am becoming a certified #herbalist, and I like to question everything, especially authority. I have too many #typewriters and only two hands, and never enough time for all the poems that want to be scribbled down or typed out.
I'm a big fan of classic sci-fi, new sci-fi, speculative fiction, memoirs, and #books packed with useful information. I'm on the hunt for an entire set of encyclopedia, as I'm increasing my useful paper book collection. My TV choices tend toward #StarTrek, British comedy, and documentaries about weird cults/religions.
I'm very literal, and my sense of humor is very dry. I cut my teeth on 1970s #Doonesbury, to give you and idea of what I mean.
I am a weird combination of mostly vegan/vegetarian, but I do eat some chicken -- and the eggs my hens produce. So figure that one out if you can. (I can't!)
I love to cuss but I am very, very bad at it.
Some things I love about Mastodon: My Au friends here, all your cat and dog and rat and plant posts, watching monster movies on Sunday nights, my Novid and Covid-cautious friends, my #MLS soccer friends, and the character limit on this new-to-me instance. Woot!
"What frequently underpins the external and internal chaos, according to experts and many ADHDers alike, is a pervasive sense of deep shame and the quiet realisation that their potential in life is not being met."