Humor

b_rain, German

Die sicherste Methode, um beim Fahrradfahren dafür zu sorgen, dass die Ampel schneller auf grün springt, ist, ein Taschentuch raus zu holen und sich die Nase zu putzen, oder? 🚦
@mastobikes_de

Muellers_Kabinett,
@Muellers_Kabinett@strafpla.net avatar

@b_rain @mastobikes_de nen Schluck aus der Trinkflasche geht auch recht zuverlässig

Flo_Rian,
@Flo_Rian@norden.social avatar

@Muellers_Kabinett @b_rain @mastobikes_de Handy aus der Halterung nehmen soll auch helfen, hab ich gehört. Oder im Winter Handschuhe ausziehen, um den Touchscreen zu bedienen.

TheMetalDog, (edited )
@TheMetalDog@mastodon.social avatar

During a U2 concert in Glasgow, Scotland, Bono asked the audience for total quiet.

Then in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands.

Once every few seconds.

Holding the audience in total silence, he said into the microphone

"Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."

From the front of the crowd, a broad Scottish accent pierced the quiet:

"Well f#ckin' stop doin' it then ya evil b#stard!"

gnaddrig,
@gnaddrig@mastodon.social avatar

@TheMetalDog Anyway, the most important question is whether they know it's Christmas...

hankg,

If you want proof that how people act on the internet is pretty much the same as it's ever been, back to ARPANET in 1984 no less...

bradford-delong.com/2013/07/ho…

Flux,
@Flux@wandering.shop avatar

@hankg blowhards blow harder.

MissPixiePancake,
@MissPixiePancake@mstdn.social avatar

Planks for beginners.

#Humor #Funny #LOL #Fun #Cat #Cats

mrbruno,
@mrbruno@mstdn.social avatar
tangledwing,
@tangledwing@ohai.social avatar
hankg,

The one thing I miss since leaving Twitter is the legit DougJ Balloon Juice blog’s NYT Pitchbot. Nails it as usual :)

raganwald,
@raganwald@social.bau-ha.us avatar

@hankg

New York Times Correctionbot:

“When I said I would never vote for Donald Trump if he was convicted of a felony, I meant after exhausting the appeals process, and only then if he was convicted in a red state, by a red judge, with a red jury.

“Everything else is partisan attack on our democracy.”

insiderua, Ukrainian
@insiderua@social.kyiv.dcomm.net.ua avatar

Дуже норм)
#humor

ditol,
@ditol@freiburg.social avatar

@insiderua
Німецькою "штольц" означає "гордий", до речі.

insiderua,
@insiderua@social.kyiv.dcomm.net.ua avatar

@ditol можна було б сказати "гордий в тряпочку")

usluck,
@usluck@channels.im avatar
markarayner,
@markarayner@mas.to avatar

They have nothing but scorn for the poor English cucumber, slowly liquefying in the crisper.

#humor #humour

renwillis,
@renwillis@mstdn.social avatar

For a second I was very confused about the direction of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s career.

bazkie,
@bazkie@chaos.social avatar

@renwillis AOC is bored of politics, time to become a game influencer with her own product line! makin' that sweet capitalist money 😎

renwillis,
@renwillis@mstdn.social avatar

@bazkie Hahaha!

JoeyD,
@JoeyD@mastodon.sdf.org avatar
paulfoerster, German
@paulfoerster@swiss.social avatar
deadblackclover,
@deadblackclover@functional.cafe avatar
bsletten,
@bsletten@mastodon.social avatar

Nerds and nihilists will appreciate this one.

#humor #foundontheinternet #programming

dhinojosa,
@dhinojosa@mastodon.social avatar

@bsletten I wish memes were around when I was trying to grasp this a long time ago

hankg,
freezr,

@hankg

I saw one earlier... it is so ugly... who would ever buy one those cars... 🤷‍♂️

MatthewChat,
@MatthewChat@mstdn.social avatar
membook, Polish
@membook@rigcz.club avatar
bsletten,
@bsletten@mastodon.social avatar

These are often facile, but this one is more sophisticated in execution.

RonRevog, German
@RonRevog@social.tchncs.de avatar

Endlich hatte Diesel Dieter ein Gegenargument für die Kritiker.

TheMetalDog,
@TheMetalDog@mastodon.social avatar

Plantera
Vulgar Display of Flowers

shanesemler,
@shanesemler@metalhead.club avatar

@TheMetalDog Now I want groove metal about flower appreciation.

Shaltiar,
@Shaltiar@c.im avatar

@TheMetalDog
'Cause high noon, you'll bloom
Comin' for you we're the tulips from hell

thejoliesfleurs, French
@thejoliesfleurs@mastodon.top avatar
grrlscientist,
@grrlscientist@mastodon.social avatar

The Onion's new CEO on his plan to bring back ‘the good internet’

Ben Collins, a former political disinformation reporter at NBC News, is working to make great again

🧅 🤣 🗞️ https://www.fastcompany.com/91126211/the-onion-ceo-ben-collins-jeff-lawson-nbc-news-elon-musk

bsletten,
@bsletten@mastodon.social avatar
MissPixiePancake,
@MissPixiePancake@mstdn.social avatar
debdiscourse,
@debdiscourse@mastodon.social avatar

No, Babar the Elephant and his family are not featured on the Disneyworld Paris ads on television, but the glitzy-sparkly commercials are certainly in overdrive on French television.

#cartoon #sweet #gentle #humor #humour #Babar #elephant #family #travel #Disneyworld #France #ad

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