@xinicit@floe.earth
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xinicit

@xinicit@floe.earth

#Sober guy living outside of the Greater #Houston Area. I still miss Rock 101.
Avatar: A ghost wearing sunglasses. It looks rad as hell. Header: An illustration of a fictional cat named Princess Donut. She is wearing a tiara. https://justmytoots.com/xinicit@floe.earth

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xinicit, to random
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The period of time between when the sex dolls became sentient and the end of the bloodshed is referred to by historians as “Bot Girl Summer.”

xinicit, to random
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I feel like the people who tell you to touch grass probably need to touch some booty.

xinicit, to random
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Kindle unlimited erotica where a hot mantis lady hooks up with a hydra and she rips off its heads until she is a quivering mess.

xinicit, to random
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What if we train a cadre of weebs to wield swords so sharp that slicing the air will break the bonds in carbon dioxide? What if the solution to climate change was (and always has been) mall ninjas?

xinicit, to random
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In heaven, all the cats will let you touch their toe beans.

xinicit, to random
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It’s easier to imagine Sisyphus happy if you picture him rolling down the hill after the boulder and shouting “wheeeee!”

xinicit, to random
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Me: Here it is. My magnum opus. The post that will define me as a poster.

1 Boost 2 Likes

Also Me: I’m feeling manic, so here’s some stupid shit I just thought.

5000 Boosts 9999999 Likes 7 Marriage Proposals

xinicit, to random
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Imagine if we had to hunt for food like our ancestors. I don’t know if I could hit a breakfast taco with a spear.

xinicit, to random
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None of my mom’s friends were saucy divorcees and I feel like I missed out on some primo weird feelings.

xinicit, to random
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Getting plastic surgery done on my knees so the bees in the flower bed will stop talking shit.

xinicit, to random
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I play a game with my dog called “snuggle, no struggle” where I try to pet him and tell him I love him for as long as I can before he gets too excited and start play biting my hands.

xinicit,
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@Cassandra I really wish I could get more snuggling in but my man gets excited when he’s getting petted.

xinicit, to random
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Petition to declare sandwiches a “kind of white person taco.”

xinicit, to random
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“I’m doing hot girl shit,” I murmur. I turn on the stove and use the flame to light my cigarette. My NyQuil has been chilled, and then poured over ice. I take a sip, savoring the flavor of desperation. Outside my window, the Roombas pile up. Soon the glass will break, and I will be swept away.

xinicit, to random
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My fursona is just me, but with less coarse back hair.

xinicit, to random
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Gonna give up on sex and focus on learning to play the musical saw and spit tobacco with deadly accuracy.

xinicit, to random
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They never mention in the Bible if Lazarus died again. I like to think he’s running a little bodega full of cats, and that he’s converted to Zoroastrianism.

xinicit, to random
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Me: Coping with loneliness by trying to find horny sounding letter combinations in my alphabet soup
Alphabet Soup: I LIKE YOU AS A FRIEND

xinicit, to random
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The lawn care companies that service my neighborhood are engaged in a vicious turf war.

xinicit, to random
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Everyday I have to choose between drinking water and mummification and I’m frickin’ tired of it.

xinicit, to random
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People joke about having sex with donuts, but people don’t really talk about how your life can change if you get a donut pregnant.

xinicit, to random
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Got kicked out of the Fight Club house for adding ylang ylang to the soap.

xinicit, to random
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Got kicked out of the mall for convincing a bunch of kids at Hot Topic to prove they were real Goths by sacking Rome.

xinicit, to random
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The worst thing you can hear as a crime scene tech is “bring a ladle.”

xinicit, to random
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Pretending to be normal is having a detrimental effect on my ability to pretend to be normal.

xinicit,
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@AdaraAstin Masking is exhausting.

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