@xinicit@floe.earth
@xinicit@floe.earth avatar

xinicit

@xinicit@floe.earth

#Sober guy living outside of the Greater #Houston Area. I still miss Rock 101.
Avatar: A ghost wearing sunglasses. It looks rad as hell. Header: An illustration of a fictional cat named Princess Donut. She is wearing a tiara. https://justmytoots.com/xinicit@floe.earth

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xinicit, to random
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Me: looks in mirror
Brain: You look like Santa Claus if he let himself go.

xinicit,
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@grrrr_shark I know, but it was such a good burn!

xinicit, to random
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My life is falling apart, but my pill organizer is in order, and when you’re old that’s the same as having your ducks in a row.

xinicit,
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@grrrr_shark My sweet Moose Shark… be kind to yourself. I’m a huge fan of you, and I think you are awesome. ❤️

xinicit, to random
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Getting real tired of all the judgment I’m getting from people with attention spans.

xinicit, to random
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Whom among us has not contemplated having an arm amputated so that it’s easier to sleep?

xinicit, to random
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I love my cat but her brain is as smooth as jazz.

xinicit, to random
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Shoutout to my dog, who taught me that you can still be cute even if you smell reeeeaaallly bad.

xinicit, to random
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They want a Baja Blast joke that’s never been done before? Call the chief! We’ve got a Code Red!

MLE_online, to random
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Ceramics class!

video/mp4

xinicit,
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@MLE_online They are gorgeous. I really want to drink tea out of one.

xinicit, to random
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I think if enough people like my jokes it will finally fix me.

xinicit, to random
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People in your hometown will call you fat to your face as casually as they talk about the weather.

xinicit, to random
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I like it when writers follow me because I feel like I may not be disciplined, but I’m discipline adjacent.

xinicit, to random
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Celebrating Earth Day by getting the barista to pour the coffee into my cupped hands.

xinicit, to random
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A lot of people think my policy of defenestrating my rivals is barbaric, but I consistently poll well with the Glaziers Union.

xinicit, to random
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Rebranding my three bean salad as “cool beans” so I can pull some tail at the luncheon.

xinicit, to random
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When life gives you a flaming bag of shit, well buddy, it’s time to make flaming bag of shit-ade.

xinicit, to random
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Everyone knows a car guy, a computer guy, a plumbing guy… whatever. But if you’re looking for flim flam, well buddy, (finger guns) I’m your man!

xinicit,
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@Lizette603_23 Mein Gott! Not mein goat!

xinicit,
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@Lizette603_23 🎶 Mein Gott is an awesome Goat! He eats just all the shrubs! His poop is small and round! Mein Gott is an awesome Goat! 🎶

xinicit,
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@Lizette603_23 I love this for you.
I had a ghost when I was a kid. He was rad as hell. I miss him.

xinicit,
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@Lizette603_23 IOS autocorrect is a fiendish beast. It will change words after you’re already on the next sentence.

My ghost’s name was Seymour.

xinicit,
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@Lizette603_23 I love the dark humor!

And yeah! The word switching happens to me all the time! It’s infuriating!

xinicit,
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@Lizette603_23 Oof. I’m proud of you for making it this far. You’re tough as hell!

xinicit, to random
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Raisins are grape mummies.

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