@mardigroan@mas.to
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mardigroan

@mardigroan@mas.to

My writing's been found on food shopping lists & mini golf scores.

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mardigroan, to random
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Ancient curse, may you try your old login three times and get locked out for suspicious login attempts before remembering you changed your password.

mardigroan, to random
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  • finishing late lunch and still calling that other place Twitter *
mardigroan, to random
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I'm so good at sleeping I could do it with my eyes closed.

mardigroan, to random
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The instructions say to place the burrito on one microwave safe plate and to put another microwave safe plate on top of it before heating. Were these instructions written by big dishwasher?

mardigroan, to random
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Had a reason to wake up super early today. So don't expect me to have a really effective day fighting crime in Gotham City.

mardigroan, to random
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When you are negotiating and you agree to terms that the other side hasn't even seen or considered that is not accepting a deal that is called making a new proposal.

mardigroan, to random
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MAGA extremists to the right of me, Hamas cheerleaders to the left(?), here I am, still in the middle with Joe.

mardigroan, to random
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Luke, I am your uncle.
Luke, I am your third cousin.
Luke, I am your grandmother.

  • Skywalker family reunion
mardigroan, to random
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At Ellis Island many immigrants shortened their last names to make it easier to place take out orders at restaurants.

mardigroan, to random
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That seems like a lie like "non-stick pan" or "customer service."

mardigroan, to random
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Made seven stops while running errands all in a row. Might as well have been a starting NBA player high-fiving back-ups on the way from the bench to the spotlight on the court.

mardigroan, to random
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May your day be as squishy as foam ear plugs.

mardigroan, to random
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I'm glad that I am not a caveman because on a very rainy morning I am inside drinking really good coffee.

mardigroan, to random
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A tall vampire known as Count Everest.

mardigroan, to random
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A Kiss tribute band called Smooch.

mardigroan, to random
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Pretty sure this cat is not trained in acupuncture and those claws stabbed into my stomach did not provide me with any medical benefit.

mardigroan, to random
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Rather than faster than speeding bullet, millennial Superman is faster than an avocado overripens.

mardigroan, to random
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Do you think the Piano Man knew Mr. Tambourine Man?

mardigroan, to random
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The not posting about coffee nor Tuesday after a holiday challenge.

mardigroan, to random
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Snow ball fights, kick the can, riding a bike, and backyard football didn't prepare me for how much of life would be reading words on a screen.

mardigroan, to random
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Retweeting bangers, paying bills, and watching a movie. How about you?

mardigroan, to random
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While removing a cat hair from my phone screen I accidentally closed three windows, downloaded two apps, made an unwanted Amazon purchase, and texted my boss a Chuck Norris meme.

mardigroan, to random
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If your nervous colleague fills the staff meeting time with nearly endless chatter you can ease through it just sipping coffee and not saying much at all.

mardigroan, to random
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Waitress: Here's the check. You wanna box for that?

Customer: The rest of this sandwich? You want to fight over it here in the diner?

mardigroan, to random
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Ancient curse: May the insides of your ravioli seep out of the pasta pocket and spread throughout the water that's cooking for seven and a half minutes.

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