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jackdaw_ruiz

@jackdaw_ruiz@normal.style

he/him.

crumbs and carrots, the stone is doomed!

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jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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my posting employs a type of revealing humor that invites you close and pulls the curtain back, not merely parting them but fully and boldly, all the way to the side, very far, I am leaving the room and this is my curtain now, sucker,

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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look let's just acknowledge that any music opinion you read on this particular website outside of a ranking of They Might Be Giants songs is immediately suspect.

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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31 days in May? always? mmmmm i dunno.

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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ahhhhhh this got me good

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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referring to the packaged sushi rolls in the cold case at the supermarket deli area as "girlfriend chow."

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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uranium glass, uranium ass, or uranium grass. nobody rides for free.

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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every time someone on the fediverse has a website in their bio and the domain is just their @ with a cute tld, you know you're going to see the most 2006 ass looking website in existence.

two measley blog posts about their obscure hobby. one page that is just a list of programming languages they've known and loved. one weirdly framed photo of like a bridge near their apartment.

and the colors? oh you better believe they are high contrast for readability.

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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all opinions i have about professional basketball teams are completely ossified around rosters from the 1993 and 1994 arcade releases of NBA Jam

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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time to celebrate memorial day the old fashioned way... watching Madame Web.

jackdaw_ruiz,
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god damn two seconds into this movie there is a spider web, we are not fucking around

jackdaw_ruiz,
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I dunno where to start. like five different baffling things have happened so far. each time I start typing a riff on one a weirder thing has happened.

jackdaw_ruiz,
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fuck yeah. New York in 2003. Yeah Yeah Yeahs music. Blockbuster Video in the background. the residual psychic toll of 9/11 (not filmed but probably implied in the tension).

jackdaw_ruiz,
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there is a particular way that people banter over eating cartons of Chinese food that only occurs in movies. you know exactly what I mean, right? the gesticulating at each other with chopsticks? it may as well be stock photos of women laughing with salad.

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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when I was a young child the cold war was still very much a thing and let me tell you how disappointing it was to learn that the iron curtain was not a literal thing because it sure sounded incredibly cool.

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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the mad max movies tell the story of a beautiful future where you can actually repair the technology you rely on.

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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one of those TV shows where they have a judge hear small claims cases, but instead of an old person like Judge Judy or Judge Wapner, it's a zoomer with neopronouns. it's called "Tough but Faer."

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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I'm so glad that people are popping off on Twitter are popping off in response to that post like "if you're coming of age in current day politics please understand that up until a few years ago things used to be normal," or however they phrase that donkey brained supposition.

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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the world really took a turn for the worse when Sábado Gigante went off the air.

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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just a heads up, Dr. Butto in Star Wars in an osteopath. and like I know people see DOs as their primary care physician just pointing out he's not an MD. do with that what you will.

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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fucked up that the Star Wars hotel closed before they could get to the Slurpy Faggi plotline.

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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periodic reminder the Oregon Zoo has a beaver named Filbert that the let carry sticks and shit through the offices and they post videos calling him "the branch manager."

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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i wanted to make one:

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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it's uhhh weird how much my prior experience of working the door at adult establishments has been coming into play at the office these past couple weeks.

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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I don't eat steak OR own any Damien Hirst pieces. I hope this post reaches you because cell reception is spotty all the way up here on my high horse.

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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30,000+ people losing power because of a fucking beaver gnawing on shit is the most Oregon ass news

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