MamasPinkyToe

MamasPinkyToe, 6 months ago to random

Think of the children. The creepy, middle-aged, Children of the Corn children.

MamasPinkyToe, 11 months ago to random

You tell me you are not a freak in bed and yet you are wearing leopard print capris.

MamasPinkyToe, 1 month ago to random

A Black man standing on top of a Cybertruck in front of a fried chicken restaurant being photographed by a white fan with a cellphone. That is what this is.

MamasPinkyToe, 4 months ago to random

I'm trying to think of a hip new word people will pay me to put on their T-shirts, caps, and mugs.

MamasPinkyToe, 1 year ago to random

It's the Mastodon equivalent of blood brothers--bonding over fist bump emojis.

MamasPinkyToe, 5 months ago to random

I don't know whether to carry forward all the shit I worried about this year or to worry about a whole lot of fresh new shit in the new year.

MamasPinkyToe, 4 months ago to random

I think the Canadians are on to us.

MamasPinkyToe, 10 months ago to random

Neil deGrasse Tyson, seen here about to murder Pluto

MamasPinkyToe, 4 months ago to random

As long as I didn't throw it in the trash or flush it down the toilet, it should still be here somewhere.

MamasPinkyToe, 7 months ago to random

Top Fun Couples

1. Steve and Eydie
2. Dax and Kristen

MamasPinkyToe, 5 months ago to random

Activia in the form of tarts. I wonder what they would call it.

MamasPinkyToe, 5 months ago to random

If somebody's bothering you, you can just say "quack quack quack" until they go away. You don't even have to be a duck.

MamasPinkyToe, 1 year ago to random

If you visit Canada for more than a week, they trick you into liking hockey.

MamasPinkyToe, 9 months ago to random

I wish the New Yorker didn't run so many sucky, sucky cartoons.

MamasPinkyToe, 4 months ago to random

What a terrible, wonderful design. Beyond category.

MamasPinkyToe, 7 months ago to random

When you says somebody "pulled a Dale Issa," I never know if you mean car theft or arson.

MamasPinkyToe, 2 months ago to random

A beautiful day in Brentwood.

MamasPinkyToe, 2 months ago to random

If you can bum a cigarette, why can't you bum $454 million plus $112,000 a day in interest?

MamasPinkyToe, 8 months ago to random

I would detest Ron DeSantis one percent less if he would travel everywhere on a seafoam Vespa.

MamasPinkyToe, 11 months ago to random

Global warming will change the Earth from an oblate sphere to a chocolate sundae. With dead polar bears sprinkled on top.

MamasPinkyToe, 1 month ago to random

I would like to find Jesus's tomb and turn it into an insanely profitable Airbnb.

MamasPinkyToe, 1 month ago to random

Big guy, tears in his eyes, he never cried, even when he was a baby he never cried, but he was crying now, because Trump's farts were so noxious.

MamasPinkyToe, 7 days ago to random

We could rotate the grate so that its bars are perpendicular to a bicyclist's direction of travel, thus solving the problem, or--hear me out--we could post a sign illustrating the problem.

MamasPinkyToe, 26 days ago to random

When the news is about Georgia enacting "a new law that sets back democracy," you have to stay tuned to learn if it's Eurasian Georgia or y'all Georgia.

MamasPinkyToe, 5 days ago to random

I'm doing the "stepping over dead bodies" workout. In preparation for Everest.