I'm currently getting out of a heavy #depression and I'm feeling much better lately, but today I still feel, like I don't want to live anymore.
I can't say that my depression is coming back or that I'm super sad again or anything. I just logically see no reason for me to live anymore:
I have no purpose in live: For 4 years now I tried to make Fridays For Future my purpose in life, but I failed miserably.
I have nothing that makes me happy
I have essentially no friends
The people I like the most want nothing or next to nothing to do with me. No offense to those people that are friendly with me - you're cool, you're just not that to me.
I live off my father's pocket and he won't be able to afford me very much longer. I'm all out of money and the state still doesn't pay me anything.
Brains are fucking stupid. Finally coming out of some really sudden and really dark depression. The last three days were incredibly hard and I'm not sure I could tell you anything about much of Thursday or Friday, except they were a deep dark hole. And if history is a guide this won't be the last episode between now and April.
Shout out to antidepressants, therapy, future trips, friends, and my amazing husband for getting me through it 🙏
☀️Recent study published on Nature.com showing the relationship between sunlight and mental health:
"People who get more light during the day and less [artifical light] at night are less likely to suffer from mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, psychosis and self-harm, researchers have found in one of the largest studies of its kind."
I was back at my first job at iRobot. Some manager I currently follow on linked in last night had re-hired me.
I was excited to just make money again.
Howerver, I didn’t go to work on my second day because of burnout/depression.
I didn’t go to work on my third day because of the anxiety caused by not letting my employer know what was going on.
On the 4th day I went to work. They mocked my apology when I finally talked to them. While I was gone, manager and his friend coworker stormed the corporate housing I was staying at and put all my stuff on the street. They kicked me out and kept mocking me…
I’ve been looking into this for a while, but didn’t know of a reputable source to get them from locally until today. I also have a good friend who microdoses them and is knowledgeable about it, so we had a few chats about it. I’m taking my second dose today, so we’ll see how that goes. Desperate for any symptom relief after many years of suffering, to be honest. #TreatmentResistantDepression#Depression#Microdosing#Psilocybin#Shrooms
Als ich dieses Plakat neulich sah, blieb ich lange davor stehen.
#Depression ist ein riesiges Tabu in unserer Gesellschaft. Ich möchte heute einen Schritt gehen, um einen kleinen Beitrag zu leisten, dieses Tabu zu brechen:
Manuel ist depressiv.
Ich bin Manuel.
Seit meiner Kindheit begleitet mich die Depression und ich kann mich kaum an ein Leben ohne sie erinnern. So gut es geht, habe ich das für mich behalten, selbst im Familien- / Freundeskreis habe ich mich nur wenigen anvertraut, weil ich
Ausgrenzung, Belehrungen oder Spott fürchtete.
Warum spreche ich nun öffentlich darüber? Nicht weil ich Mitleidsbekundungen, 'Bewunderung' für meinen Mut o.ä. will.
Ich möchte mich aber nicht mehr schämen, wo es nichts zu schämen gibt. Und ich möchte anderen Betroffenen zeigen, dass die Depression zwar ein Teil von ihnen ist, aber nicht das Einzige, das sie definiert.
Am 4.Oktober findet in der Wohngemeinschaft in #Köln die Premierenlesung meines neuen Buchs statt. #Schwul. #Sexy. #Depressiv. heißt das gute Stück.
Bisher sind noch nicht so viele Karten verkauft.
Tut mir einen gefallen und kauft euch ne Karte, oder empfehlt die Lesung Leuten in eurem Umfeld, für die sie was sein könnte.
Es wär schade, wenns abgesagt werden müsste und sendet auch an Veranstaltende nicht das beste Signal..
I remember the day in 1994 that I was first able to climb out of the pit of despair and anxiety. It still beckons me from time to time, but I no longer live there.
[cw: depression, suicide ideation] this past week I've been contemplating about my inability to feel positive emotions and how it affects me, if it is possible to live a fulfilled life without the capacity to feel positive emotions (since nothing ever feels pleasurable or motivating), and how living with my mind is like having a loudspeaker playing unpleasant sounds at me all the time: https://winnielim.org/journal/my-mind-the-invisible-loudspeaker/
In a double-blind controlled study, high doses of magnetic brain stimulation, given on an accelerated timeline and individually targeted, caused remission in 79% of trial participants with severe depression.
Dan Thomas will represent plaintiffs who allege their mental-health conditions worsened during their #MilitaryService as a result of stigmatization.
Thomas’s statement of claim says he was physically #injured during his #army service & then diagnosed with #PTSD & #depression.
Fully aware that this sounds like a conspiracy theory, but the #neurodivergent (specifically #AuDHD) movement is so fascinating to witness through an evolutionary lens. We are quite literally experiencing how society comes to terms with an accelerating genetic mutation. Growing evidence points towards #adhd and #autism as differing presentations of the same underlying mutation. Highly co-morbid conditions like #depression, #anxiety, and #ocd could be #cptsd from ongoing social trauma? Wild.
Experimental depression treatment is nearly 80% effective in controlled study (med.stanford.edu)
In a double-blind controlled study, high doses of magnetic brain stimulation, given on an accelerated timeline and individually targeted, caused remission in 79% of trial participants with severe depression.