@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social
@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social avatar

BethanyBlack

@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social

‘Comedian’ managed by United Agents. #ActuallyAutistic

I block people for unsolicited advice, being argumentative etc, I don’t engage with them. This is a really simple boundary and whether you respect it tells me what I need to know.

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BethanyBlack, to random
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You know, you can sing “the Lion Sleeps Tonight” any time you feel like it, it’s literally just a whim away.

No, you fuck off.

BethanyBlack, to random
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People make fun of Americans for thinking of America as the default, that anyone speaking English online must be American, or thinking everywhere must accept USD for example. But that’s the prize for cultural supremacy: insularity.

What I find interesting is that the people within that cultural elite who do look outwards will be surprised when those outside that elite know about things they assume we wouldn’t.

BethanyBlack,
@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social avatar

For example one of my friends from Baltimore was surprised that I knew about that boat hitting that bridge. Or the number of Americans recently who’ve tried to explain to me that their police are militarised and violent.

Also lots of Americans who don’t seem to realise how much their elections directly effect us and are surprised we know the various senators and congresspeople.

BethanyBlack,
@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social avatar

This is also a thing that English people do too, most of us couldn’t point to Ayr or Ballymena or Builth Wells on a map, let alone Växjö or Aarhus or Chalon sur Saône, or name the Presidents and Prime Ministers of our European neighbours who aren’t Germany or France.

And a lot of that comes from having our first (and in a lot of cases only) language being the one that THE cultural hegemon of our era uses.

BethanyBlack, to random
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Regularly think about that girl on TikTok who googled her town’s police dept minimum fitness requirements and trained to be 10% better on all markers, and the next time she got into an altercation with them she was able to outrun them easily.

BethanyBlack, to random
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I reckon before aliens set down on earth they’ll study our ways and go “they seem to like flags, we should greet them with the most popular flag on the planet” then immediately start a war by coming off the ship in Washington waving a burning US flag

BethanyBlack, to random
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Had to call paramedics and currently sat with them in our house is a weird experience, they’re like the most aggressively heterosexual people I’ve spent any time around for ages

BethanyBlack,
@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social avatar

@quixoticgeek it’s my wife, she had surgery today and then had an issue so we’re on our way back tk the hospital

BethanyBlack, to random
@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social avatar

I’m doing a show in Rotherham on a bill with Dylan Moran, Stephen Bailey and others and surprisingly it’s not sold many tickets which is insane!

If you’re around Rotherham on 1st June you can get tickets here for what’ll be a quite intimate gig with one of the greatest comedians who ever lived plus me and some others https://tickets.ents24.com/event/magna-comedy-club/the-magna-centre/2994019?inf=11f32407b237f2b9

BethanyBlack, to random
@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social avatar

Thanks to everyone who helped me out financially this month, it was a horrible month and this year has been awful, but everyone who helped either through Ko-fi, joining my Patreon or buying my new stand-up special has made a huge difference. I’ve really been struggling with depression lately and the help and love I received this week has made it melt away.

You all did that. Thank you x

BethanyBlack, to random
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googles “do platypuses have a cloaca or a platypussy”

BethanyBlack, to random
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I hate having to ask this especially as I’m in the muddle of promoting my new live show, but I won’t get paid for that for a while, and this month has been particularly tough, I’m about £500 short of my rent which was due yesterday. I’m up to the limit of my overdraft and have 99p left. So if you can help even a couple of pounds then my ko-fi is https://www.ko-fi.com/bethanyblack and if you could use paypal I get the money immediately.

BethanyBlack, to random
@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social avatar

It was quite tricky last year trying to do my first tour without posting on Twitter where the majority of my followers were, but I did it, and it was a hige success! We did a live recording of it in Cardiff which you can now buy from https://www.gofasterstripe.com/bet

Help get the word to as many people as you can and support your local trans comedian!

BethanyBlack,
@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social avatar

@quixoticgeek it’s not, it looks like we’ve crashed the site again, I’ll tell Chris who runs it!

BethanyBlack,
@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social avatar

@quixoticgeek I think it’s just been more popular than we expected 😁

BethanyBlack, to random
@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social avatar

Turns out my depression is entirely situational, and that situation is poverty.

BethanyBlack, to random
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BethanyBlack, to random
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My Award winning show “Always Bet on Beth” is now available for you to download for the princely sum of £10, it has subtitles and everything should you need them. Every copy bought really helps me out, I’m expecting to sell 400 copies, but I’m hoping to hit 1,000, the url is www.gofasterstripe.com/bet tell your friends

BethanyBlack, to random
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With everything going in at Colombia University, and I’m just spitballing here, have we tried sending Kendall Jenner in with a crate of Pepsi? I seem to remember that worked once before. It was in the news and everything.

BethanyBlack, to random
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Been a bit quiet recently, since my wife got rushed to hospital about 6 weeks ago it’s all been hectic and horrible, she’s fine, she’s finally got a surgery date for mid May, but financially it’s a huge struggle, made worse by my losing £800 of work recently.

BethanyBlack, to random
@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social avatar

“We’re all just struggling to get by. You know the concept of bread and circuses? Well you made the bread too expensive and now you’re banning the circus, how do you think this will play out?” - Max AKA High5ifyourestillalive on the TikTok ban

BethanyBlack, to random
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The pushing of “AI” really is the epitome of “they’ll like what I tell them to like”

BethanyBlack, to random
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Just emails someone who’s out of office says “I’m OOO until next week” and I am so tempted to reply “YOU’RE A GHOST?!?!”

BethanyBlack, to random
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That can’t be comfy, Fred

BethanyBlack, to random
@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social avatar

I figured it out, so long as my car stays costing me less than £250 per month in repairs it’s cheaper for me to keep it on the road than trying to buy a new second hand one. And as the engine is a diesel and has done 120,000 miles it should last a while longer yet. The car’s done nearly 230,000 miles, but it got a new engine at 110,000 due to a factory recall

BethanyBlack,
@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social avatar

@reay I think the luckiest thing that ever happened to me was when there was a recall on a fuel injector seal and the dealership said “It’ll last to new year” and booked me in for 6th January. The seal split on 26th December and they replaced the entire engine as it’d seized.

I knew at that point that I’d never be able to sell it for what it was really worth, so I just stuck with it for the last 8 years.

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