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BethanyBlack, to random
@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social avatar

I’m sure I’m not the last person to know this, but you know that bit right at the end of Mr Blue Sky by ELO, the last bit where the mechanical voice goes “Mi-ster Blue Sky-y”

It actually says “please turn me over” because it was the last track on that side of the album.

BethanyBlack, to random
@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social avatar

Compared to Trump Rishi Sunak’s had a pretty good day

BethanyBlack, to random
@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social avatar

Lol

BethanyBlack, to random
@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social avatar

“Candy for Vampires; Rhesus Pieces”

BethanyBlack, to random
@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social avatar

The moment “Things can only get better” kicked in Sunak had a look ij his eyes I’ve seen a million times over my career: the moment a comedian realises they’re dying, that what was supposed to be the easy gig has got away from them with no way back and their confidence has gone. All you can do then is go through the motions and do your time

BethanyBlack, to random
@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social avatar

I reckon we only picked 4th July because the yanks are having theirs on 5th November

BethanyBlack, to random
@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social avatar

I really need to stop anthropomorphising other people.

BethanyBlack, to random
@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social avatar

You know, you can sing “the Lion Sleeps Tonight” any time you feel like it, it’s literally just a whim away.

No, you fuck off.

BethanyBlack, to random
@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social avatar

People make fun of Americans for thinking of America as the default, that anyone speaking English online must be American, or thinking everywhere must accept USD for example. But that’s the prize for cultural supremacy: insularity.

What I find interesting is that the people within that cultural elite who do look outwards will be surprised when those outside that elite know about things they assume we wouldn’t.

BethanyBlack,
@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social avatar

For example one of my friends from Baltimore was surprised that I knew about that boat hitting that bridge. Or the number of Americans recently who’ve tried to explain to me that their police are militarised and violent.

Also lots of Americans who don’t seem to realise how much their elections directly effect us and are surprised we know the various senators and congresspeople.

BethanyBlack,
@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social avatar

This is also a thing that English people do too, most of us couldn’t point to Ayr or Ballymena or Builth Wells on a map, let alone Växjö or Aarhus or Chalon sur Saône, or name the Presidents and Prime Ministers of our European neighbours who aren’t Germany or France.

And a lot of that comes from having our first (and in a lot of cases only) language being the one that THE cultural hegemon of our era uses.

BethanyBlack, to random
@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social avatar

Regularly think about that girl on TikTok who googled her town’s police dept minimum fitness requirements and trained to be 10% better on all markers, and the next time she got into an altercation with them she was able to outrun them easily.

BethanyBlack, to random
@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social avatar

I reckon before aliens set down on earth they’ll study our ways and go “they seem to like flags, we should greet them with the most popular flag on the planet” then immediately start a war by coming off the ship in Washington waving a burning US flag

BethanyBlack, to random
@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social avatar

Had to call paramedics and currently sat with them in our house is a weird experience, they’re like the most aggressively heterosexual people I’ve spent any time around for ages

brainwane,
@brainwane@social.coop avatar

@BethanyBlack Wishing you and yours well

quixoticgeek,
@quixoticgeek@v.st avatar

@BethanyBlack I hope she's ok now and wish her a speedy recovery. I hope you get some good rest too.

BethanyBlack, to random
@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social avatar

I’m doing a show in Rotherham on a bill with Dylan Moran, Stephen Bailey and others and surprisingly it’s not sold many tickets which is insane!

If you’re around Rotherham on 1st June you can get tickets here for what’ll be a quite intimate gig with one of the greatest comedians who ever lived plus me and some others https://tickets.ents24.com/event/magna-comedy-club/the-magna-centre/2994019?inf=11f32407b237f2b9

BethanyBlack, to random
@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social avatar

Thanks to everyone who helped me out financially this month, it was a horrible month and this year has been awful, but everyone who helped either through Ko-fi, joining my Patreon or buying my new stand-up special has made a huge difference. I’ve really been struggling with depression lately and the help and love I received this week has made it melt away.

You all did that. Thank you x

quixoticgeek,
@quixoticgeek@v.st avatar

@BethanyBlack you're welcome. Glad you're feeling better.

BethanyBlack, to random
@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social avatar

googles “do platypuses have a cloaca or a platypussy”

LinuxAndYarn,
@LinuxAndYarn@mastodon.social avatar

@BethanyBlack I believe you've earned this.

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