@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social
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BethanyBlack

@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social

‘Comedian’ managed by United Agents. #ActuallyAutistic

I block people for unsolicited advice, being argumentative etc, I don’t engage with them. This is a really simple boundary and whether you respect it tells me what I need to know.

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catmachine, to random
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Just reinstalled the copy of Adobe CS6 I bought 11 years ago. The serial number verification service no longer exists so it will stop working in a week.

FFS, when I spend THAT MUCH on something I expect it to last!

BethanyBlack,
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@catmachine they emailed to say they’re revoking the license on all the copies they ever produced of all their software over the coming weeks, even if you did have it registered it would deauthorise

BethanyBlack,
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@patrick_h_lauke @catmachine even if you don’t need to reinstall and you don’t have the online verification turned off I’d seen reports of it deauthorising

BethanyBlack, to random
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Compared to Trump Rishi Sunak’s had a pretty good day

BethanyBlack, to random
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Lol

BethanyBlack, to random
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“Candy for Vampires; Rhesus Pieces”

BethanyBlack, to random
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The moment “Things can only get better” kicked in Sunak had a look ij his eyes I’ve seen a million times over my career: the moment a comedian realises they’re dying, that what was supposed to be the easy gig has got away from them with no way back and their confidence has gone. All you can do then is go through the motions and do your time

BethanyBlack, to random
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I reckon we only picked 4th July because the yanks are having theirs on 5th November

BethanyBlack, to random
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I really need to stop anthropomorphising other people.

BethanyBlack, to random
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You know, you can sing “the Lion Sleeps Tonight” any time you feel like it, it’s literally just a whim away.

No, you fuck off.

BethanyBlack, to random
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People make fun of Americans for thinking of America as the default, that anyone speaking English online must be American, or thinking everywhere must accept USD for example. But that’s the prize for cultural supremacy: insularity.

What I find interesting is that the people within that cultural elite who do look outwards will be surprised when those outside that elite know about things they assume we wouldn’t.

BethanyBlack,
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For example one of my friends from Baltimore was surprised that I knew about that boat hitting that bridge. Or the number of Americans recently who’ve tried to explain to me that their police are militarised and violent.

Also lots of Americans who don’t seem to realise how much their elections directly effect us and are surprised we know the various senators and congresspeople.

BethanyBlack,
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This is also a thing that English people do too, most of us couldn’t point to Ayr or Ballymena or Builth Wells on a map, let alone Växjö or Aarhus or Chalon sur Saône, or name the Presidents and Prime Ministers of our European neighbours who aren’t Germany or France.

And a lot of that comes from having our first (and in a lot of cases only) language being the one that THE cultural hegemon of our era uses.

BethanyBlack, to random
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Regularly think about that girl on TikTok who googled her town’s police dept minimum fitness requirements and trained to be 10% better on all markers, and the next time she got into an altercation with them she was able to outrun them easily.

BethanyBlack, to random
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I reckon before aliens set down on earth they’ll study our ways and go “they seem to like flags, we should greet them with the most popular flag on the planet” then immediately start a war by coming off the ship in Washington waving a burning US flag

BethanyBlack, to random
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Had to call paramedics and currently sat with them in our house is a weird experience, they’re like the most aggressively heterosexual people I’ve spent any time around for ages

BethanyBlack,
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@quixoticgeek it’s my wife, she had surgery today and then had an issue so we’re on our way back tk the hospital

BethanyBlack, to random
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I’m doing a show in Rotherham on a bill with Dylan Moran, Stephen Bailey and others and surprisingly it’s not sold many tickets which is insane!

If you’re around Rotherham on 1st June you can get tickets here for what’ll be a quite intimate gig with one of the greatest comedians who ever lived plus me and some others https://tickets.ents24.com/event/magna-comedy-club/the-magna-centre/2994019?inf=11f32407b237f2b9

BethanyBlack, to random
@BethanyBlack@mastodon.social avatar

Thanks to everyone who helped me out financially this month, it was a horrible month and this year has been awful, but everyone who helped either through Ko-fi, joining my Patreon or buying my new stand-up special has made a huge difference. I’ve really been struggling with depression lately and the help and love I received this week has made it melt away.

You all did that. Thank you x

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