@mardigroan@mas.to
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mardigroan

@mardigroan@mas.to

My writing's been found on food shopping lists & mini golf scores.

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mardigroan, to random
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While removing a cat hair from my phone screen I accidentally closed three windows, downloaded two apps, made an unwanted Amazon purchase, and texted my boss a Chuck Norris meme.

mardigroan, to random
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If your nervous colleague fills the staff meeting time with nearly endless chatter you can ease through it just sipping coffee and not saying much at all.

mardigroan, to random
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Waitress: Here's the check. You wanna box for that?

Customer: The rest of this sandwich? You want to fight over it here in the diner?

mardigroan, to random
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Ancient curse: May the insides of your ravioli seep out of the pasta pocket and spread throughout the water that's cooking for seven and a half minutes.

mardigroan, to random
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The Weather Channel covers winds and losses.

mardigroan, to random
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We can have breakfast for dinner but unfortunately we can't choose to have June for January.

mardigroan, to random
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Oh my my.
Oh Hell yup.
Time to refill my coffee cup.

mardigroan, to random
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When he was very, very young the Greek philosopher was a mere Aristoddler.

mardigroan, to random
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And tonight we're going to recover from partying like it's 1999!

mardigroan, to random
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Somehow on Tuesday I am supposed to wake up early like a regular work day? Not in favor of that.

mardigroan, to random
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The Colorado Supreme Court declares that insurrectionist Donald Trump is disqualified from the GOP primary ballot. It's like we're in a parallel universe where at least this one thing makes sense.

mardigroan, to random
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Don't mess with Texas (because of their abysmal record on reproductive health care, energy infrastructure, gun safety, and education)

mardigroan, to random
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In potato-focused Idaho some refer to St. Nick as Kris Pringles.

mardigroan, to random
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There were some plans that a nap washed away. And I would do it again if I had a chance to do so.

mardigroan, to random
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🎶 I am the cult of. I am the cult of adding extra cheese! 🎶

mardigroan, to random
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Nicholas and Frederick tried to see what all the fuss was about but remained perplexed that frog legs are considered a delicacy.

mardigroan, to random
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Maybe they call it a beaver moon because, when you see it, you'll go "dam!"

mardigroan, to random
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If Ben Franklin had his way with the choice of a national symbol then I would be rooting for the Philadelphia Turkeys.

mardigroan, to random
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Clementine scented perfume should be called “Eau My Darling.”

mardigroan, to random
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If you tell the waiter that he left a drink off of your bill then that may be the right thing to do. You might even get good karma. But if you tweet about it then you probably lose those bonus points.

mardigroan, to random
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mardigroan, to random
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Every day more trees are bare. Not even wearing a bathrobe.

mardigroan, to random
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Time change, schmime change. I still wake up feeling like I was clocked in head.

mardigroan, to random
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An advantage of working at home is enjoying your cat's company. It would be nice though if she did some typing, light filing, and answered some phone calls.

mardigroan, to random
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Squirrels are out there without a sweater.

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