Witnessing another occurrrence of the #ReplyGuy anti-pattern this morning inspired me to write some thoughts about this social behavior that is so common on our #Fediverse that is based on #PublicSquare#Microblogging mechanics.
On the #SocialCoding forum I created a category for #SocialExperienceDesign (or #SX) patterns, and the "Reply Guy" #AntiPattern is the first entry in what might be turned into a pattern library collection.
It's interesting watching these conversations play out from the vantage point of software with different underlying interaction models. Though I'm assuming conversations, and that in itself isn't a universally supported interaction model.
In terms of renaming the patterns to be less emotionallly charged and more #inclusive.
I will use this terminology for now:
#ReplySigh: An exasperated reaction to a person who replies to someone else's post, offering advice or solutions that weren't asked for, or out of context.
#Oversplaining: A person reacting to someone's post and giving an explanation from the assumption that the original poster and/or other followers lack that knowledge, or posted just to showcase their smarts.
@nemobis How are you? I am so delighted that you also think NVC is a game changer. I am curious about the problem and happy to explore that. I am also curious about what contributed to your finally reading Marshall's book and whether you spend time practising (speaking) NVC? I am also grateful for your linking to it's archive entry as this helped me find something of the 1st ed, which I have been looking for! : D
Boostable decentralized LIFO social feed services (like #mastodon) should implement a reddit-style rating system (but absolutely only for replies). It would make conversations here much better, deal with the #ReplyGuy problem and give us a better version of the #CommunityNotes feature they have over at #Xitter.
there's a post and there are replies attached to it. I'm not changing anything about posts, only that replies can now be voted on and can't be boosted or favorited. so when you click on the post, the replies are threaded and ranked. posts still flow LIFO and can be boosted. clearer?
maybe we do something with hashtags too so that when you've clicked on one (treating them like a subreddit), posts can surface based on algos we somehow decide, but that's separate for now.
just thought of this now, but it could really take advantage of the idea that you'd have to boost a post to get others to see a reply that you really liked that disagreed with it. people would probably only do this if it was a top rated reply. but truly "boosts are not endorsements". people might boost stuff they don't like just to advance the conversation. there'd be much more perspective sharing. an inherently healthier version of quote tweets if your reply was top rated.
Using the term "Reply Guy" after only two posts where I disagree with your conservative aiding surrender of the term "populist" is the sign of a weak mind that hasnt thought their positions through especially when your bio says "Dont tone police me"
I'd like to think I do my best not to be a #ReplyGuy, so if I see something that looks like a question, I'll always pull the thread first and see if someone else already answered it. It's easy for someone to boost something from hours/days ago, but that doesn't tell you if the problem/question/issue was actually solved or not. If you don't pull the thread it just turns into another rehash of the youtube comment section which Techmoan aptly demonstrates at the end of one of his videos by using puppets.
@miki True, but it certainly can give me more of an overview of what's happening, and if the final post is something like 'Solved it, thanks for the help' I don't need to reply, do I?
just saw someone unironically suggest that mastodon clients should take the pronouns from bios and make men confirm that they actually want to reply or @ a woman, or maybe not letting them at all.
if ever there was need of grass to be touched... even assuming that it was meant in the most positive and helpful way possible, that's still incredibly cringe inducing. big m'lady energy. big tech-bro-trying to-solve-misogyny-with-more-tech energy.
I should know this after 8 months, but... To reply to a post that already has some replies and make sure that my comment winds up at the end of the thread — do I reply to the original post, or to the final reply in the thread?
I get this wrong half the time and the problem is I don't know which half.
@kellogh Hmm. Could swear I did that and the reply ended up as a thread-of-one on the original post, with the longer thread still existing in a parallel universe.
Mam, so many times on Fedi I have blocked a dude just for being an insufferable know-it-all #replyGuy, and then second guess myself thinking "am I being too quick to judge?"
...and then like the next day I start seeing one-sided arguments on some completely different post, and lo and behold, who are they arguing with? The blocked dude.
It's amazing how much arseholery is coming from a few very prolific serial offenders.