Every year, John ignores Christmas to indulge in pagan traditions.You know, gift giving, decorating his house with holly and mistletoe, singing carols door-to-door and preparing a big feast.
John was initially christened “Mojo Snothand” but changed his name by deed poll to “John Mastodon” (an anagram of the original.) #JohnMastodonHolidayFacts#HashtagGames
A struggling English writer was sitting at a pub, wondering what to do with his life, when he shared a couple of pints with a rough and tumble character, who told him a tall tale about three ghosts on Christmas Eve. Charles Dickens never saw the stranger again, because that’s how John Mastodon does it.
John Mastodon invented gingerbread. He bet someone he could make a cookie people would make houses out of. He won. #johnmastodonholidayfacts#HashtagGames
It was John Mastodon who looked out one night, on the feast of Stephen, while the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even. And he gave warm shoes, a coat, and a turkey to everyone who passed.