Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever have a stable flow to my days, sleep especially. If it’s just me and there are no demands then whatevs. But we inhabit a world that always seems to have one #demand or another. Due dates, schedules, meetings, whatever rando decides you need to talk to them at exactly that moment.
In my perfect world there would be a #buffer… space and time. It would allow us to respond as we were ready without broadcasting the delay to outsiders.
@actuallyautistic#ActuallyAutistic what are everyone’s thoughts on signing cards (birthday, etc.) at work, where you do not really know the person, but there is an implied expectation that you do so
it's Tasia's birthday! can you help me make her day special? she's been struggling securing donations for basic necessities like food and healthcare. anything helps!
Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 220 , Tuesday 04/06/2024
My Pavlovian response got me up at 06:30, so hobbled down to breakfast.
The meds the Doc gave me yesterday are doing the biz as far as reducing the pain goes, if not the swelling.
It’s so nice to be able to walk again , even if it is only a shuffling gait!
The meds are also messing with my digestive system, had an egg butty for lunch which grumbled its way thru me this afternoon. So rather than a some ham & a bit of salad for tea it was soup, again !
Oh I hope this speed of recovery is maintained!
Final Thoughts.
Every thought I have at the moment is directed at getting my foot back to normal & not looking like a prop front the Elephant Man !
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
Loneliness hit me hard today. And the big contradiction is that I also feel better alone being autistic and I know that there is no solution to this. So how do you cope with this my fellow autistic?
Hmm. Used to be my most productive hours were after work and evening. That shifted until after kid was asleep. But now I’m finding an early bedtime and waking around 2 or 3am may be a better cycle. Rested, energetic, and no people! Yay!
It’s exhausting: the process of realisation that you’re #actuallyAutistic and unpicking 40yrs of fudges and workarounds so entrenched that you forget you’re going against your own nature, but it’s been costing you in energy, identity and self-esteem the whole time.
And I know the office tea-round seems like a fucking PATHETIC thing to lose sleep over, but imagine what it does to your confidence to feel incompetent about something so trivial. 😳
@actuallyautistic#actuallyautistic Any tips on how to deal with imposter syndrome? 😅 It's really been affecting me lately, and I'm not sure why.
I feel like I can never quite be certain that the things I KNOW are true about myself are actually true, like my brain is willingly playing tricks on itself.
I firmly believe that my autistic burnout around 45 is linked to the beginning of perimenopause.
CW
Being Neurodivergent, Hormones, Burnout Crisis, and Menopause
“our […] hormonal changes is different due to the way our brains and nervous system are wired. This unprecedented change in our physical bodies, our chemical makeup, and our brain can mean autistic, AuDHD and other ND people can […] experience cycles of extreme burnout crisis”
it's Tasia's birthday! can you help me make her day special? she's been struggling securing donations for basic necessities like food and healthcare. anything helps!
Soo.... Tomorrow is my birthday and I have my usual payment links as well as my wish list. If anyone is feeling generous. It's mostly needed items but there's a few treats too 😁
Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 219 , Monday 03/06/2024
Another disturbed night, slightly better than last night because I had learnt some lessons on ewhat my foot would & would not tolerate.
Went to see the GP this morning, I have, in fact, got gout . So on a 4 day course of Colchicine … the GP was very specific about the 4 days - apparently 5 days = my entire digestive system liquifying & a decent stay in the local hospital !
The new meds are working a storm in association with the pain killers , this evening I am walking (well shuffling) sans crutches ! It hurts like hell, but importantly it is bearable !
I hope that this means that I will get some decent sleep tonight !
Also made an appointment to see yon GP about my ADHD assessment in a week or so , so the journey continues !
Final Thoughts.
I am so relieved to be coming out of the other side of this gout flare up , is has been one of the most painful experiences of my life !
Hopefully future episodes will be avoided via ongoing medication.
I really hope that seeing yon GP later this month will be a positive move in my ASD journey !
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@actuallyautistic#ActuallyAutistic has anyone had a supervisor act so passive aggressively all the time it feels like they are goading you into a meltdown?
So, it was good. Very emotional roller coaster. I thought my son was bored but he wasn’t antsy to leave. As we were walking out, he shared that he really liked it. It certainly felt authentic.
The story is focused more on a family and inter-generational perspective, which I think will make it more acressivle and relatable to a broader audience.
I‘m rewatching #TheBigBangTheory, now 2 years after my #autism diagnosis. I dont know what people dislike about this show. Sheldon makes me feel very validated. his friends making fun of him both shows problems of modern society and boundaries we sometimes dont see (like speaking the truth when someone is already down).
@haui#BigBangTheory and #YoungSheldon feel to me like early efforts to put #LGBTQ characters in front of broader audiences. Coded and not discussed. Stereotypical, with a while male focus.
I’m glad they added a similar female character, but wasn’t impressed that only the two #neurodifferent coded characters were permitted to have a relationship. #LoveOnTheSpectrum does the same.
So I’m glad we’re more visible. I just wish it was more authentic.
One kid had a party this morning and the other wanted to go to ikea to look at desks for their computer.
Once we were all together again I mentioned that we were probably all overwhelmed and needed quiet time and they agreed. We are all on devices in separate bedrooms being silent.
Is this what a functional neurodivergent family looks like?