@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party
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Tim_McTuffty

@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party

An itinerant squirrel poet, aka https://mastodonapp.uk/@MaJ1

New to the whole word smithing thing so don’t be too harsh.

Write as the muse hits me in the face, so output will probably be irregular, but I want to explore a world of art n poetry that has previously eluded me so will be boosting along those lines.

Boosting is the algorithm here, so if you like my stuff please get it out there 🙏

‪https://justmytoots.com/@Tim_Mctuffty

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
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Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 207 , Wednesday 22/05/2024

Up early as Mrs S. was in the office today.

Felt a lot better today , eating almost normally , just feeling somewhat knackered still.

There’s a calm, peacefulness when I’m on my own, especially at the moment.

After yesterday’s epic ‘War n Peace’ entry there is not much to add today.

Final Thoughts.

I’m hoping that full digestive services will be restored!

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic

Tim_McTuffty,
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@CoachMark @actuallyautistic Hey Mark 👋😊

Thank you 🙏 🫂

Tim_McTuffty,
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@PixysJourney @actuallyautistic 🤗🥰

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
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Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 205 , Tuesday 21/05/2024

TL:DR Late up today , so was more or less ignored. Clues to whether I’m AuDHD & if I’m going thru a burnout period came to light from fellow ND Peeps.

I had a somewhat enforced lay in this morning, in that I was so exhausted that I simply slept thru all the noise that would usually wake me up.
I finally got up around 07:30. Life obviously went on without me, even though Mrs S. was working from home.

Me: I’m a total introvert & wish to be alone.
Also Me when wife zones me out because I was late to get up: I’m so lonely !!!
Is the mind of an ND bananas or what ! (Possibly some for of nut in my case 🤦‍♂️ )

I risked a ‘proper’ breakfast this morning - I seem to have survived it 😊

I would normally have cleaned the bathroom today, but because I’m not feeling so good that didn’t happen. I know from past experience it won’t get done until I feel well enough, be that days or even weeks 🙄🤦‍♂️

I wrote a little while back , when I got the results of my assessment thru , that the Consultant Psychiatrist had suggested that I be assessed for ADHD too. That is currently on hold.
But , & here’s the thing I read a toot ( linked below) from @ashleyspencer that totally spoke to me & I recognised EVERYTHING she was talking about !
Well call me a Squirrel & bounce a walnut off me ‘ed !
I number of other folk on here have suggested that I had ADHD symptoms , but I could never put the whole package together in my own head to the point that I ‘felt’ it!
Maybe I need to pull the whole ‘getting ADHD assessment’ off the back burner ?

I also realised ,based on a toot from @pathfinder (again see the link below) that I may well be experiencing a period of autistic burnout - it seems to be so similar , in key ways to where I am at the moment. No wonder I’m struggling!

Got back into the post-apocalyptic world of Fo4 this afternoon, I had forgotten how enjoyable this game is.

Final Thoughts.

I am struck once again how much I am coming to depend on the @actuallyautistic community to help me progress on my ASD journey and understand more about me!

Special thanks to Ashley & Kevin for pointing the way today. 🙏

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves

https://autistics.life/@ashleyspencer/112474885392479715

https://beige.party/@pathfinder/112476066417549514

Tim_McTuffty,
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@PixysJourney @ashleyspencer @pathfinder @actuallyautistic Thank you Cynni , I keep thinking I need the books you recommend & keep forgetting them!

With the ADHD I hear there are some meds that might help - but I guess I have to be diagnosed with it before the GP can try them 🤔.

It’s lovely to have you as one of my main helpers on this journey of mine ! 🤗🥰

pathfinder, to Autism
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@actuallyautistic

Burnout is a bitch. I think all of us who have experienced it, or are experiencing it, will agree with that. But, how it presents and how long it maintains its hold over us, seems to be as variable as so much else about us.

I can now recognise the many times I have experienced burnout in my life. Each one marked by my constant refrain of, "I'm just tired" and with me doggedly plodding on with my life as best I could. Even now, in the deepest and longest burnout of my life, I am still doing the same.

Of course, I at least know to try and pace myself now. To let the unimportant things slide until their time comes and to spread out what has to be done, to the best of my ability. I know to dedicate time to self-care, to rest and recreation and to acknowledging my needs as an autistic person. This much, realising you are autistic can teach you. It can also help you to spot the signs of burning out sooner and hopefully mitigate its effects that way.

When that's possible, of course. For what caused my current burnout was unfortunately a series of overlapping events that I could not avoid, or do anything about. It was almost as if life chose to keep throwing things at me, each more intense and impossible to avoid, until I broke. But then life can be like that sometimes.

Autistic burnout is, of course, different from normal burnout, in what causes it and how it presents. It is, more often than not, a breakdown of our ability to cope with the demands being placed on us and not with how much we can carry. We are used to carrying insane loads and with having to work so much harder than most other people, just to keep putting one foot in front of the other through life. In fact, I know that I never really rest, not even now. My life is one long and continuous assessment and checking on whether the routines I have in place are being maintained. Whether I have done everything, on what needs to be done and finding new ways to blames myself for why it hasn't been done yet. There is no such thing as not working as far as my brain is concerned. And because I never stop, I don't know how to stop. How to heed the signals of tiredness and exhaustion and how to not knuckle down and continue anyway. It has been the story of my life. In work and everywhere else, always push, push, push.

And perhaps this is why autistic burnout is so common and possibly even inevitable. The sheer effort that life already is. The constant raggedy edge we walk just to get through a day and how in doing this day after day, all we end up doing is teaching ourselves to ignore the warning signs and that our needs are even important. And end up learning instead, that all that really matters is the next plodding step, no matter the load we are already carrying.

#Autism
#ActuallyAutistic

Tim_McTuffty,
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@pathfinder @actuallyautistic Morning Kevin 👋😊

You are pretty much my ASD guru & I’m so very much at the start of my journey learning how to cope (also btw , just realised that ,despite my previous doubts , I am probably AuDHD ) so I’m at a loss when it comes to supporting others at the mo.

That said:
I totally recognise where you are because I now realise that is where I am too at the mo.
I’m not sure if an autistic burnout shared ½s it but maybe there is some vague sense of comfort in sharing the struggle?

I will help in anyway I can , even if only as an additional someone to vent to.

You’re in my thoughts my friend , I hope that you (well ‘we’ if I’m being honest) pull thru to the other side of this soon!

🫂🫶🐿️🖖

Tim_McTuffty,
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@pathfinder @actuallyautistic That all makes sense & the ADHD thing keeps ticking boxes.
I hope that you come out the other side soon my friend 🫂

See I told you you were my guru 😊 🫶🐿️🖖

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
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Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 205 , Monday 20/05/2024

Was up till the early hours of this morning with stomach cramps after last nights daring attempt to eat scrambled eggs & beans for tea.

Spent the day getting lots of exercise up & down the stairs to take a pew, if you get my drift.

Attempted to interact on here a couple of times but my brain is apparently on sick leave so it didn’t go exactly to plan 🙄🤦‍♂️

Hopefully tomorrow will be better !

Final Thoughts.

Is the babel fish truly a fish if it spends most of its life out of water ?
This & other great questions of our age will have to wait until I can think straight!

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves

Tim_McTuffty,
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@PixysJourney @actuallyautistic 🤗🥰

Tim_McTuffty,
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@si_irini @actuallyautistic On the way sweetie 🤗🥰

Tim_McTuffty,
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@EVDHmn @actuallyautistic Hey Derek 👋😊

Sorry wasn’t ignoring you, just behind on catching up !

Interesting questions !

I imagine that as far as colour goes it was a predator / pry thing . As with so many other adaptations (hearing for instance) those that can recognise either prey or predator quicker get to survive to procreate.
Deep sea animals use color (red particularly) a lot for just this reason.

BTW Mantis Shrimp have the greatest range of wavelength recognition of any animal (I believe) , no-one quite knows why it needs to be so extensive !

For me (& any number of experts will beat me to death with a kipper for saying this I suspect) the brain doesn’t process light, anymore than it processes sound, or taste - the organs convert the signals into a brain compatible signal & the brain processes that . I do know that it’s an RGB signal mixed with light n dark (rods n cones in the eye).
As to how it processes the received signal , that is a whole other kettle of fish !

Oh I love easy questions like what is consciousness 😆

I could wax lyrical on this , but it’s an area of interest so I’ll get hyper focused & we’ll be here till Xmas !

Have an excellent day my friend 😊🫶🐿️🖖

Tim_McTuffty,
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@zeolith @actuallyautistic Thank you 🙏

I’m well on the road to recovery (at least from the stomach bug !) I can even string semi-coherent thoughts together today 😊

Tim_McTuffty,
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@eonity @EVDHmn @actuallyautistic I feel I know where the root of your insomnia lies … 😜

Tim_McTuffty,
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@si_irini @actuallyautistic 🤗🥰

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
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Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 204 , Sunday 19/05/2024

Up around 8am , Sunday turned out to be a lovely sunny day , which I enjoyed, relaxing & recovering!

Caught up on Mastodon, there are some tremendous folk on here !

Still struggling with the old appetite , exhausted as buggery but I am defo on the way back up !

Apparently there are albino badgers out there ! This is a wonder of the world !

Final Thoughts.

You know when you’re a kid & you dream of your future …

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves

Tim_McTuffty,
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@si_irini @actuallyautistic Thank you 🙏 🤗🥰

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
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Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 203 , Saturday 18/05/2024

Ruff as a bears bum today, no energy, no appetite, everything I do hurts.

It’s probably only man-flu again, I seem to catch every bug going at the moment & regular Squirrel Spotters will be aware that I’m a bit of a wuss when it comes to common or garden illness. 🙄🤦‍♂️

I keep plodding along, hoping that I catch a break at some point.

I am better this afternoon, this morning I felt like death warmed up, lunch was 5/6 of 2 rounds of toast - don’t ask - & tea will be venturing into the dubious gastronomic delights of a can of tommy soup.
I am a little brighter & well enough to write my diary, so that is an improvement.

Final Thoughts.

Please can someone hail a Delorean to transport me back to my 40s ?

I have to say that I am in total awe of those folk I know who live with chronic pain, chronic depression is a walk in the park in comparison, you peeps are the bravest folk I know!

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic

Tim_McTuffty,
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@PixysJourney @actuallyautistic Thank you 🙏 🤗🥰

I take fish oil pills every day & they are prolly why I haven’t got scurvy etc.

I suspect part of it is that ‘Man (or gender type of your choice) cannot live on pizza / Chinese takeaway alone!

I need to get shopping again so I can have a decent diet, Mrs S. cant shop for toffee (or anything else ! ) & not that its summer time salads beckon !

Tim_McTuffty,
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@PixysJourney @actuallyautistic Thank you 🙏 🤗🥰

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
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Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 201 , Thursday 16/05/2024

Up early again , the weather was miserable again, bouts of heavy rain interspersed with showers in the very occasional burst of sunshine.

The weather absolutely affects my mood, so it has been a challenge to interface with the world today.

At least it’s still fairly warm, having the windows open, if only a little , is really nice for me, a bit of a sensory high. 😊

Final Thoughts.

A quiet early summer day , with classic UK weather.

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves

Tim_McTuffty,
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@PixysJourney @actuallyautistic Thank you CDP 🧚‍♀️🥰💜

Tim_McTuffty, to random
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Ok let’s try this again!

I’m not addicted to Mastodon , honestly !

Tim_McTuffty,
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@HistoPol G’day HP 👋😊

Like it ! 😆

Tim_McTuffty,
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@skyfire747 @HistoPol It is , one of my faves !

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
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Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 200 , Wednesday 15/05/2024

Up early again , breakfast, chores , whole 9 yards.

I’ve been referred to the local cardiology dept for my dizzy spells , phone appointment next month, I don’t hold out much hope that they will get anywhere, but never say never hey !

Octopus Energy , after an initially promising start, have totally failed to get our smart meter system working properly. Both meters appear to be transmitting so that at least is an improvement but the IHD is only showing electric readings. In the latest episode the help desk lass - ‘Edna’ gave me the instructions to set up a budget …. Despite me sending her a photo showing that the IHD is NOT seeing the gas meter at all!
I mean will setting a budget magically get the comms going between the gas meter & the IHD ? I think not !

Final Thoughts.

Why is it so hard to get seemingly simple things done in this world ?

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves

Tim_McTuffty,
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@PixysJourney @actuallyautistic Thank you for all your encouragement Cynni, it really helps keep my spirits up 🤗🥰

Hopefully the transition to the new house will go smoothly for you ! 🤞

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