monkeyborg

qurlyjoe, 2 months ago to random

I feel like we're living in the only universe where MTG is not a waitress at Waffle House.

monkeyborg, 2 months ago to random

I'll take some more of these motherfucking leaves on these motherfucking trees

monkeyborg, 2 months ago to random

Ok, ok, fine. Iʼll buy Ticktock.

gets out wallet

…Will $100 be enough? Whatʼs an internet web site going for these days?

licks finger and starts counting bills

Can I pay in U.S. dollars or do I need to go pick up some yuan? Oooh wait theyʼre internet guys. Maybe they'll want the bit coin.

monkeyborg, 2 months ago to random

Itʼs rough out here, yʼall. Grocery stores have gone from BOGO to BOGTFO. Iʼll be here all week.

monkeyborg, 2 months ago to random

Can’t believe they banned the TikToks when the real problem has always been the Pokemans

monkeyborg, 3 months ago to random

WYSIWYG was a mistake

monkeyborg, 3 months ago to random

Why is Titleist spelled like that? The word is actually spelled… oh

monkeyborg, 3 months ago to random

So Roku makes you agree to new terms of service waiving your right to sue the company in order to keep using the hardware you paid for, then three days later reveals a data breach.

I guess weʼve given up pretending that capitalism is anything more than open war of all against all at this point?

monkeyborg, 3 months ago to random

Earlier today I used “your” when I meant “you’re” in a toot, and I would like to apologize to all the people I let down

monkeyborg, 3 months ago to random

I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly

My body’s too beer gut-licious for you babe

monkeyborg, 3 months ago to random

It is cold as actual butt in my office today. Just so yʼall know. Just so youʼre aware.

monkeyborg, 3 months ago to random

What happens to the reflection of a reflection, when it is projected back onto the original?

monkeyborg, 3 months ago to random

I don’t hike, I walk in the woods.

“Hiking” is an activity for straight couples where both people are named Riley and they wear matching $1000 Patagonia outfits and say “hup, hup” as they go.

Walking in the woods is a gentlemanly pursuit, a thinking man’s pursuit. I walk, and I think. What do I think about?

teeheehee bewbs

monkeyborg, 3 months ago to random

Thereʼs an intersection near my house with 3 playgrounds within a quarter mile. One is in a public park; the other two are fenced off in church backyards and sit empty 90% of the time.

Imagine if the churches had donated to the city to build one big public playground for the ages. All the kids would benefit. The church folks would have opportunities to build bridges to people in the community.

Our privatization mindset is making us all poorer.

monkeyborg, 3 months ago to random

The dog and I walk single file to hide our numbers.

monkeyborg, 3 months ago to random

True story: my siblings and I were among the first kids to ever play with pool noodles.

Around 1990, my Dad, who worked for a furniture mfg. company with a foam rubber plant, told us that they had taken on a contract to make foam tubes for a new construction toy called “Toobers & Zots.”

He brought some home for us. We quickly figured out their best uses: floating in the pool and smacking each other.

Never did see T&Z in the toy stores, but a few years later pool noodles were everywhere.

monkeyborg, 3 months ago to random

I knew the sport was big down there, but this is ridiculous.

monkeyborg, 3 months ago to random

I accept LinkedIn requests from other people at my university even if I havenʼt worked with them directly because maybe they have some reason for wanting to get in touch with me and thatʼs their preferred way of reaching out.

This morning I got a request from someone whose profile photo was so perfect I thought they must be fake. It looked like an AI-generated image of a stock photo model.

But I dug a bit and theyʼre real.

It is apparently possible for a headshot to be too professional.

Alice, 3 months ago (edited 3 months ago) to random

There was a span of time when it seemed like every kid was named something like Jaxyn or Brynleigh but I haven't seen those types of names in a little while so my best guess is that they all died doing dumb TikTok challenges.

monkeyborg, 3 months ago to random

Alt text, motherfuckers. Itʼs not optional. Every time you post an image without it youʼre telling blind people to get fucked. Is that who you want to be? I know thatʼs not who you want to be.

monkeyborg, 3 months ago to random

For a long time I’ve had this idea of just being a Basic Guy, of having an ok diet and exercise routine, house and car and clothes that are decent but nothing special, friends that I like and who like spending time with me, a job that pays the bills and leaves a bit left over for savings and leisure, hobbies outside of work, maybe a girlfriend.

And I am confounded at how I can never seem to get to this idea I have in my mind of not some ideal version of myself, but just an adequate one.

Gina, 3 months ago (edited 3 months ago) to fediverse

I once again need your opinion on a very important matter, dear #fediverse friends.

If there was a place called Sushi & Tacos thats sells.. 🍣 sushi and tacos 🌮, how much of your life savings would you spend there? #daretoask #businessidea #sushi #tacos

monkeyborg, 3 months ago to random

The meaning of “Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra” as a reference to communication by metaphorical cultural reference has completely eclipsed its original meaning of two strangers becoming allies through a shared trial, and thatʼs a real Shaka When the Walls Fell if you ask me

faraiwe, 3 months ago to random