@PixysJourney@beige.party
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

PixysJourney

@PixysJourney@beige.party

Howdy, I'm Cynni Pixy (nicknames obviously). I've got several other accounts but they have different specific goals. Here I want to share my journey through life.

My avatar is a cartoon image of my dog, surrounded by rainbow colored hearts. She's a brown Labrador with greying snout (age 10).
My header is a picture of my Labrador resting her head on a couch side.

I try to #AltText all my images.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

MaJ1, to weirdfolks

Good night Squirrel Fans, off to bed now.

Thanks to all who have chatted with me today ! 🤗🥰

Please send hugs n luvs to @jacqui76 no questions asked 🤗🥰

I leave you with this question to ponder:

Which modern invention would you most like to get rid of & why ?

TTFN 😊🫶🐿️🖖

@weirdfolks #WeirdFolks #SquirrelsOfMastodon #TheMammutMoves

Tonights diary entry is here:

https://beige.party/

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@MaJ1
🤗 🤗 🤗
@jacqui76
For the both of you! From a silly Pixy 🧚🏼‍♀️
@weirdfolks

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 23 Tuesday 21/11/23

TL:DR A much better day than expected , largely due to the support of my friends.
A positive , but disconcerting move towards a Diagnostic Assessment was made today , so all in all going to bed a much happier bunny than of late !

So another day with the house to myself has helped relax & chill me out a bit better.

There is much turbulence hidden under the seemingly calm surface of my most important relationship & I fear that key supports in its structure are less than stable. 😔

My mood was up enough to clean the bathroom, which is a chore I dislike enough to need a decent chunk of motivation to get going !

I also got brave enough to ring my Bestie again , this was partially driven by the fact that I know she has problems with her hands due to fibromyalgia & hyper-mobility that are exacerbated by being out in the cold. So chatting over the phone meant she didn’t have to try to type while she was out for a walk into town.
We had a good long chat, set the world to rights & had a good laugh as well. 😊

Getting used to my new sleep cycle is taking a toll, waking at 4am is fine with the alarm, but actually getting to sleep by 10pm is proving challenging , mostly because I’m addicted to Mastodon! 😂
Thus at about 4pm this afternoon when I wanted to get an hours gaming in I actually fell asleep 🙄🤦‍♂️

I want to end with some really promising news, I was contacted by a 3rd party MH provider today , I was initially suspicious because it was not the one I was expecting, but it turned out to be kosher & I’m 90% thru the registration process. I just need to get a copy of my id docs tomorrow & then send them off.

This is a major step forwards , this is related to my referral for a Diagnostic Assessment for my ASD , & timescales for it are so much better via the private sector thru the ‘Right to Choose’ NHS option.
I am conflicted with taking this route because it is helping privatise the NHS via a backdoor, but I cannot dispute that the 4 weeks waiting time is considerably better than the 2 - 3 year waiting times to access the NHS’s own mental health services! Right to Choose basically provides the benefits of going private while it simultaneously waives the hefty costs normally involved !

Final Thoughts:

I had dreaded the fallout from Sundays’ events, some of it is yet to fall , but I was expecting to be in mid-depressive slump by now, but , whilst I’m suffering some of the symptoms , the full on experience has been avoided!
I put this down to the support I have had from my friends on here & in particular my lovely , kind CDP 🧚‍♀️🥰
Chatting with my bestie, actually having a bestie once more , is a blessing. Having an ND bestie who understands where I am coming from & can empathise is almost unbeliveable, that we can support each other is really special !

Being 1 step closer (& a big step at that) to a DA so quickly has cheered me up enormously, I know that the path ahead is long & probably hard, but I am actually making serious progress ! 😊

Thanks to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you ! 😊🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #TheMammutMoves

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
I'm glad that the big massive thing you were expecting hasn't happened. Though it's always hard when you don't feel like you can be yourself all you'd like within the relationship...
Yay for the chores!! I totally understand that doing certain chores takes so much and yay for actually getting it done. 💪🏼
Phone calls are hard for me as well as I cannot see the other person, so sometimes things being said I take waaaaaay to literal when they're meant to be a silly remark or sarcasm. Then I also miss those in written text a lot, so yeah. It's definitely a me thing 😂.
I'm sure your bestie appreciated the call instead of typing. Especially if they know how hard it is for you to do. But maybe it will get easier once you get to know them even better. I mean if they're your bestie you must know some bits about them to feel more secure. I'd hope! That's how I am with calls to my bestie. 😊
I'm glad your support for the ASD is moving forward! Dunno what route is best, but if the other waiting list is 2/3 years, the 4 weeks one sounds very interesting to me...
Which ever route you may choose, I shall be here to support the journey, should you like some company. 🤗
Hope you're sleeping sound now! 😴 Have a good night silly Squirrel 🫶🏻🐿️
@actuallyautistic

Rasta, to random

I use my bluetooth headphones often. daily. I was worried I'd break the most expensive pair I own, and reordered it to keep the same make.
I misplaced my old pair, took out the new pair to use, and they are not even the same brand name. They look close, but on reorder, they should have been exact. Not even the same charging cords.

But, I found my missing ones.. I'll use them some more

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Rasta
That's very weird? The model got an upgrade but the model name stayed on the old one?
Glad you found the old ones though! Hope they'll give you many more happy listening hours.

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Rasta
Aaah I get that, have adhd as well and need to be very careful when ordering things online. But the audio books are really helpful. So a decent headphones is very important then. Glad you still have ways to listen to them as you go.
6 months without cell service? Wow, I get freaked when I lose it for 6 minutes these days 😂 unless I know I will lose it for a while in advance (like when I go walking in an area without real coverage). 😊

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Rasta
Ow wow that's definitely a different kind of living! I guess I would like it for a bit but then I'd love to get back to my town. 😊 I don't need a big city, they make me nuts. But a town with a gas station, some supermarkets and a gym are very much on my list of "needs". Or at least things that should be close in walking to riding distance. Though I prefer walking over driving. Better for my health (and cheaper). 😊
Glad all went well and now you can enjoy some comforts of the winter home again.

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Rasta
Ow wow! That's a shame though but if you can make it work, that's nice. Lovely views, I can understand that being there is beautiful, though challenging as well if all services have moved away. Thank you for sharing. 😊

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 22 Monday 20/11/23

TL:DR It’s STILL only Monday! ; Early to bed, early to rise - just make sure you tired !; The unadulterated truth is a sharp blade , one should not wield it without caution!

Today was a very ‘Meh’ kind of day.
Breakfast was quiet but you could have cut the atmosphere with a knife . 😔
It was a relief when Mrs Squirrel had to go into the office for the day!

I’m starting to move my sleep cycle so I wake earlier. Aiming for 20:30 - 04:00 , I’ll wait while those of you allergic to pre-dawn wake up calls recover 😆

There are 2 reasons for this.

  1. Mrs Squirrel insists on going to bed (to read) as close to 20:00 as she can get. Every night! This leaves me on my own till about midnight when I go to bed to get my statutory 6 hours sleep ( that’s what my body clock is set too 🙄🤦‍♂️ )
  2. One of my dear online friends has a 17:00 - 00:30 (ish ) sleep cycle & I want to tie in with that a bit better so we can chat of a morning.

So I’m a bit tired today as my body adjusts , objecting loudly obviously !
I am also recovering from yesterday’s fracas , the MH fallout of which will take a few days to work out of my system.

I did a few chores & downloaded ‘It takes 2’ to play with my Pixy friend when she next has a moment 😊
(CDP 🧚‍♀️🥰😁 not NGP🧚🥰 )

Then I had a long phone chat with my very close friend , possibly my bestie I guess .
I overcame my anxiety about talking to people directly & I think we had a good chat. 😊

Then I hit Mastodon - 256 toots ! I love the guys I share a TL with , but really peeps !
This is why I’m a little late with this , I’m still a little behind but will finish off when I publish this.

Final Thoughts:
The aftereffects of my ASD mini meltdown yesterday continue to reverberate, peace & cordiality have been restored in the household but such episodes are not without scarring , certainly for me.
Talking with my Bestie helped as I discovered that some of the feelings I was having about yesterday they had had in the past. They are ND too & they are helping me understand my ASD better.
I also discovered yesterday that, when pushed to the point of angry exchange, I can only tell the truth & nothing but the truth, in its raw, unadulterated , unfiltered form! This is actually not as good a thing as one might think, folk don’t always like that level of truth, it can, in a nutshell ,piss them off!
Had I not been in my current state of self analysis I’m not sure I would ever have noticed .
Another tick in the Triad box methinks, but not an idea negotiation technique 🤦‍♂️

Thanks to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you ! 😊🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #TheMammutMoves

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
Ow wow! That's some Monday for you. 😊 I hope to be available for some coop next Wednesday, so I'll do my best for that. 😊 And I'm glad that the chat helped you to relax. It helped me to get some annoying chores done so I'd like to thank you for that as well. Who knew that just talking silly to a squirrel could make doing difficult chores a tad easier?
The asd journey will last ya a life time. Even now, after 12 years with the diagnosis, I'm still learning! Also partially through you as you discover things that make me think about them in a different way as well. So that's also very helpful to me!
I hope you're having a good sleep. My sleep pattern is usually go to bed at 16:30, hopefully sleep at 17 and have my alarm between 1-1:30, depending on how late I walked Arwen, as she needs walkies after 9 hours. She might be able to last longer but I don't want her to need to at her age. 🐾
Have a lovely sleep little squirrel, sweet dreams! Arwen will be there with ya! 😁
@actuallyautistic

MaJ1, to weirdfolks

&

G’day Squirrel Fans,
so a cold morning on all fronts,in major bad books with AJJ after yesterday’s tiff, obviously I have no reason to be upset since I was all at fault 🙄🤦‍♂️

A Boomtown Rats song comes to mind!

On a more +ve note today is day 1 of WOOF ‘War on our Flab’, a major achievement will be getting to day 2!

Have a great & remember : Don’t get caught!
😊🫶🐿️🖖
@weirdfolks

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@MaJ1
Grab that Woof by it's tail and make it do all the magic for you! 😁
Well, more seriously, battling the flab is something I'm way too familiar with. So if you need any cheering done, lemme know! You got this! 💪🏼
I've hit a plateau for a bit so I gotta try and make some changes to get going again. Of course with my love for routine, that's quite a challenge. As long as I don't gain, it's good. But I also still need to lose more flab to be more healthy and to not wear down my hip too quickly.... 😊
Hope you had a pleasant time. Sorry I want online too much, silly busy day yesterday.
🫶🏻🐿️
@weirdfolks

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@MaJ1
You're very welcome! I was alone for a big part of my journey, unfortunately. My hex said she supported me but she used so many things against me. And I think I learned more about my asd since I've been divorced as there was no one to bully me around or to force me into unwanted directions. So it was just me, my brain, my actions, my responsibility. And that taught me a lot.
So all I do know I would love to share if that could help. I know my asd is definitely not your asd but there may be some overlap. And sometimes it also helps to know there are different ways, even if we don't see them ourselves...
You're not alone on your journey, not if you don't want to. 🤗
🫶🏻🐿️
@weirdfolks

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@alison
Thank you! 🤗 It did suck... But back then I just didn't realize as it seemed to be my fault all the time. I'm way better off now. 😊
@MaJ1 @weirdfolks

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 21 Sunday 19/11/23

TL:DR This another entry that is hard to write & hard to read, there is no cw because there is nothing really controversial here. Even so read at your own risk.

Another lay in this morning promised a lazy carefree day, but that was not to be.

Getting downstairs 2 minor triggers, then 1 big sod off one were set off within a few moments.
I ended up storming out of the house in an ASD fuelled strop.
I hate walking in the rain, I really hate walking in cold rain, but I needed to walk , I needed space.
I walked to the top of our hill, chatting with a dear friend who helped me , stopped me crashing & pulled me back from the brink.

I got home & as has happened in the past my inability to handle multiple triggering events was thrown in my face & I ended up being the one who backed down, the one who felt guilty & to blame , the one who made the peace overtures in the shape of food & drink.

Don’t get me wrong I’m am not wholly innocent in this episode, but neither am I wholly guilty, I should not have had to shoulder all the blame simply to return a quiet life.

So the mask goes back up, pent up frustration simmers gently in the background, waiting for sufficient additional frustration to reach the next explosion, probably in about a year.

This evening détente had been restored, all parties were on talking terms , will things change, unlikely, one refuses to change the other strives for a mixture of a quiet life & to not ‘rock the boat’. I leave the reader to decide who plays what role.

Final Thoughts:
ASD & depression are hard to deal with, harder when the one who should be someone to turn to is the one triggering episodes.

I’m not looking for sympathy, or indeed judgment of any party, there are aspects of today, like my autism , that caused the situation to be so much harder for those involved.

This is the other side of the coin from yesterday, what a difference 24 hours makes.

Thanks to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you ! 😊🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #TheMammutMoves

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
I'm sorry about this! I was in a marriage where my hex used my ASD against me as well, triggering me to make me do things as I felt guilty about the meltdowns I had (even though 99% of the cause of said meltdowns were her triggering me on purpose!). So I totally understand... Unfortunately 😔
I'm glad there was someone to chat with you and never be afraid to DM me should you wanna vent! It's hard to be in a relationship that's not more equal to both parties.
I'm also glad things did quiet down after a bit and I hope the evening has been a more restful one.
Hopefully you're sleeping well now. Sending some sweaty hugs from the gym your way 🤗 😘 🫶🏻 🐿
@actuallyautistic

MaJ1, to weirdfolks

#MorningAll & #TZAG

G’day Squirrel Fans,
so this morning could have gone sooo much better , but I’ll leave the details to my diary tonight .

I’m so behind on toots to read, bare with me peeps! .

Massive shout out to @PixysJourney , thank you so much for your help & advice this morning, above & beyond lass, above & beyond ! 🫂 🥰

Have a great #Sunday & remember #RuleNumberOne: Don’t get caught!
😊🫶🐿️🖖
@weirdfolks
#WeirdFolks #SquirrelsOfMastodon #TheMammutMoves

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@MaJ1
You're very welcome! I'm sorry it was needed but it was my honor to be there when you needed me 🌸 🤗 🫶🏻 🐿️
@weirdfolks

PixysJourney, to ai
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

#SilentSunday

#AI creation by me and Bing.

PixysJourney, to ai
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

Sometimes something very nice happens.
You get to meet someone that you click with. That you have fun with. That's like a long-lost friend.
Thanks to Mastodon I've made a few very good new friends and I am super grateful for them and their support!
I recently have been gaming a bit with one of those friends and he gave me some jolly good laughs, which were greatly appreciated.
So while I was dabbling with some AI, while AI and I still don't really work together well, I did manage to get this image made.
So I thought I would share it. Instead of writing for my blog like I should be doing now haha! I'm too easily distracted for my own good...
OK back to writing on my WP site now.
Have a lovely day dears!

#PixysJourney #AI

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 20 Saturday 18/11/23

TL:DR A lazy day, but progress was still made! Writing is so much easier than other forms of communication for those who lack Social Communication skills .

Hurrah for Saturdays !
A much needed lay in this morning that led to a decidedly enjoyable gaming session & learning a few new tricks on the PS5 associated with multiplayer options 😊

My ASD played with me in the moments leading up to starting the gaming session . A new game , new genre , playing with someone who knew the game & had completed it. Angst levels were high!

However because the person I play with is kind & patient & the game ‘Man of Medan’ is a slower pace than the games I usually play it was a truly enjoyable experience & the angst quickly passed.

A long chat this afternoon via text allowed a friendship to grow stronger. ND experiences shared & a deeper understanding of each other developed.

An evening of takeaway, cider & ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ rounded off the day in a very pleasant way. 😊

Final Thoughts:

As I have commented before a deeper understanding of autism, as it affects me , & others (including the responses to previous diary entries ) makes life a little easier & friendships a little deeper.

Thanks to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you ! 😊🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #TheMammutMoves

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
Glad your day turned out so well! And I guess I know the feeling about the gaming as I was (and still am) so clueless about that Fallout game 😂 but I hope I'm easy going and I try to explain and if needs be, we try and try again... 😊
A good chat is always nice to have! So yay for that as well.
Also a good end of the day so I'm very glad you had several positive experiences and that the anxiety quickly made a space for enjoyment. 😊
Hope you're sleeping well now! Sweet dreams 😴 🫶🏻 🐿️
@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney, to animals
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

When the love of your life is peacefully snoring next to you and you enjoy every breath she takes wholeheartedly.... 💜 🐾 💜

#Labrador #DogsOfMastodon #Dog #Arwen

MaJ1, to weirdfolks

#MorningAll & #TZAG

G’day Squirrel Fans, not a promising start weather wise , dull & grey.

Gotta gaming session this morning with a certain CDP 🧚‍♀️ , new game to me so much ASD anxiety, but if she can follow me through the FO76 wastes then I can do ‘Man of Medan’ !

Have a great #Saturday & remember #RuleNumberOne: Don’t get caught!
😊🫶🐿️🖖
@weirdfolks
#WeirdFolks #SquirrelsOfMastodon #TheMammutMoves

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@MaJ1
Hehe you don't have to do Man of Medan 😉 but you were curious so we can give it a try. Maybe you'll enjoy the story. Maybe it's too slow, or weird 😂 and perhaps it can surprise you... Have fun! 😁
@weirdfolks

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@MaJ1
Haha yeah it's definitely not a dos game. But I enjoyed the story even though some bits were a tad silly. 😊
@weirdfolks

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@MaJ1
Haha yeah there's still some bits to go through for sure. 😊 I'll try to be available a few hours here and there... Wish I wasn't so busy. 😊
@weirdfolks

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@MaJ1
True but I also wanna coop fun games 😇 with good friends.. Too little hours in a day at times... 😊
@weirdfolks

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@MaJ1
🤗 😘
@weirdfolks

PixysJourney, to random
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

Journal of a Dutch Pixy 🧚🏼‍♀️

TL;DR Arwen wanted to spend the night with me on my bed (she's my dog, FYI 😉)

Last night, well at the end of the afternoon, Arwen and I had gone for walkies. Arwen sometimes walks to my bedroom and looks at the bed. But usually when I ask her if she wants to sleep there, she just heads to the living room. But this time, she put her head on the side. The bed is too high for her to jump these days, so I lifted her up. She immediately took over the whole bed 😂!

I went to the living room to get my shoes off, grab Arwen's snacks and prepare everything for the next day (night). After a loo break, Arwen and I played the game of beds until I had a decent spot to sleep in. I quickly fell asleep with her beside me. It's been years since she really wanted to sleep with me like this and I almost feared that it might be her last night or something and she didn't want to be alone...

But every time I woke, she was there, snoring. Or pushing me out the bed 😂. During loo breaks I asked her if she wanted off and she stayed put. But when my alarm woke me, she was ready to go off and get out for walkies.
Of course I had to dress and prepare her food and all that.

But we had a good night together. I did have some weird dreams about exes, but every time I woke I stroked Arwen's fur and quickly was able to fall asleep again.

#PixysJourney

Arwen laying on my bed, ready to snuggle up for the night.

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@oldredsubby
Thank you 💜
And I'm glad you had a beautiful time with Rosie. It's always hard knowing they won't last our lifetime. But the times that they do share with us give so much more meaning and love... 💜
Thank you for sharing 🐾

PixysJourney, to ADHD
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

Howdy kind Mastonauts! 😁 Welcome to this new account.
I made (another) account to share things that are not health or entertainment related. I have dedicated accounts for those things (links in bio).

I will boost those toots when I feel them "good enough" to share with you.

I'm #AuDHD (#Actually Autistic and #ADHD). I live with #Fibromyalgia and #Hypermobility. Got a fake hip. Love fitness. Have an eating disorder that I struggle with. I also have been fighting with #ChronicDepression for many years.

My big love is my 10 year old Labrador lady Arwen. She's slowly showing her age, bless her, so I'm often worried about that.

I have a silly kind of humor and often a either too straight forward or too anxious to say anything.

Have a nice day everyone! 🌸

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Rasta
Good day! 😁
Labs are awesome for sure. We do call them chocolate here as well, but also by their three colors. Yellow, brown and black. I usually go with brown but chocolate is also possible. 😊
And yeah they're so silly, sweet and loyal! I'd never wanna be without a chocolate lab 😉.
Thank you! I hope Arwen and I have some lovely years ahead of us as well. 🐾

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Rasta
Awww that must have been so hard! I'm so sorry you had to leave him with someone. Glad he did get a good home though!
Arwen is used to living in the apartment and I take her on walkies whenever she wants. The longer ones she can't do anymore, but I have a buggy for her now. So we'll walk to the little beach where she can play till she's too tired and then she gets toweled off, her bathrobe on and she can relax in the buggy as we walk back. 😊

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Rasta
Awwww thanks for sharing, that's so sweet. Sorry to ready they've crossed the rainbow bridge though. 🌈 🐾

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • •
  • JUstTest
  • mdbf
  • ngwrru68w68
  • modclub
  • magazineikmin
  • thenastyranch
  • rosin
  • khanakhh
  • InstantRegret
  • Youngstown
  • slotface
  • Durango
  • kavyap
  • DreamBathrooms
  • megavids
  • GTA5RPClips
  • tacticalgear
  • normalnudes
  • tester
  • osvaldo12
  • everett
  • cubers
  • ethstaker
  • anitta
  • provamag3
  • Leos
  • cisconetworking
  • lostlight
  • All magazines
    •