@MamasPinkyToe@mastodon.world
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MamasPinkyToe

@MamasPinkyToe@mastodon.world

I suspected he was not a real hypnotist when he said I was growing Swedish, very Swedish, but here I am, doing many typically Swedish things.

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MamasPinkyToe, to random
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A million women. A vagillion.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
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It's a big stag party where everybody dies but one guy gets lucky.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
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"Ringo ate my baby" would have been equally horrifying.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
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Is there a kind of beer that makes you racist?

MamasPinkyToe, to random
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I have literally never met anyone who has ever seen "Young Sheldon."

MamasPinkyToe, to random
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What's the secret to Christian comedy? Tithing.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
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Children, no. Granddad is not a "hobo." Granddad is a bicycle tourist.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
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For ten dollars I will write your name on my thumb.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
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I'm going to play it safe. I'm only going to look at the eclipse with my left eye.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
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True Thing
Whenever there is an earthquake, there will be people who call the police to report the earthquake.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
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I mean Clippy no harm. I just want to straighten him out.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
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The easiest-to-explain Mastodon rule I follow is actual LOL equals mandatory boost.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
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The mildly interesting community park where they film all the drug commercials - that's my happy place.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
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When my sister returned from France, she would eat nothing but fish. They had poissoned her mind against us.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
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A cat makes your life twenty-five percent better.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
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If Nicolas Cage goes on a talk show and says, "Is Tetris demonic?," I will pay him ten dollars.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
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"Soylent Green," or as it was known in Germany, "People Are the Wurst"

MamasPinkyToe, to random
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Jimmy Dean will live forever as a sausage.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
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It used to be America stood for the Enchirito. But then they took away the Enchirito and I don't know what America stands for anymore.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
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David Dastmalchian is so good in "Late Night with the Devil" I thought he was Canadian.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
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The dispensary delivery should be thirty to forty minutes before the pizza delivery.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
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How can I be out of ideas when I still have so many pens?

MamasPinkyToe, to random
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Just a reminder that I'm registered at BuyMeACocaine. You can chip in a line, a spoon, or even a baggie.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
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"Deboard" is for a plane. This is a Trojan horse. We'll be disemboweling soon.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
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If you stab someone with a pencil, are you penciling them "in" or penciling them "out"?

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