ajsadauskas,
@ajsadauskas@aus.social avatar

Hi, we're a tech startup run by libertarian Silicon Valley tech bros.

We're not a newspaper, we're a content portal.
We're not a taxi service, we're a ride sharing app.
We're not a pay TV service, we're a streaming platform.
We're not a department store, we're an e-commerce marketplace.
We're not a financial services firm, we're crypto.
We're not a space agency, we're a group of visionaries who are totally going to Mars next year.
We're not a copywriting and graphic design agency, we're a large language model generative AI platform.

Oh sure, we compete against those established businesses. We basically provide the same goods and services.

But we're totally not those things. At least from a legal and PR standpoint.

And that means all the laws and regulations that have built up over the decades around those industries don't apply to us.

Things like consumer protections, privacy protections, minimum wage laws, local content requirements, safety regulations, environmental protections... They totally don't apply to us.

Even copyright laws — as long as we're talking about everyone else's intellectual property.

We're going to move fast and break things — and then externalise the costs of the things we break.

We've also raised several billion in VC funding, and we'll sell our products below cost — even give them away for free for a time — until we run our competition out of the market.

Once we have a near monopoly, we'll enshitify the hell out of our service and jack up prices.

You won't believe what you agreed to in our terms of service agreement.

We may also be secretly hoarding your personal information. We know who you are, we know where you work, we know where you live. But you can trust us.

By the time the regulators and the general public catch on to what we're doing, we will have well and truly moved on to our next grift.

By the way, don't forget to check out our latest innovation. It's the Uber of toothpaste!

@technology

ordrad,
@ordrad@lor.sh avatar

@ajsadauskas @technology
And we'll change our TOS and user agreement to our advantage whenever we feel like it but won't tell you what changed or why or how it'll effect you. But legally we told you so f*ck off if you have a problem with that.

Sanctus,
@Sanctus@lemmy.world avatar

The changes should just be highlighted like a fucking git commit.

falcennial,
@falcennial@mastodon.social avatar

@ajsadauskas disruptor = grifter

oscarjiminy,
@oscarjiminy@aus.social avatar

@ajsadauskas @technology this is perfect.

Shantis,
@Shantis@mstdn.social avatar

@ajsadauskas @technology And don’t forget their enablers - the investors who pour in billions of dollars of other people’s money, the marketeers who hype these “disruptive” technologies and the copycats who naively follow them. “Disrupter” used to be a bad word - how that became a badge of honor is another of Silicon Valley’s mysteries. #disruptors #SiliconValley

alice,

@ajsadauskas @technology I would not purchase that product or service.

I've seen where that can go with regards to driverless automation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ki7lqI6XE2s

KatLS,
@KatLS@ohai.social avatar
kmeisthax,

@ajsadauskas @technology Aah yes, my favorite kind of (right-)libertarian: "no step on snek that steps on other snek"

cowboyminer,
@cowboyminer@mstdn.social avatar
donhawkins,

@ajsadauskas @technology Libertarians are just Republican’ts that smoke pot. 😎

bigiain,
@bigiain@aus.social avatar

@ajsadauskas @technology "By the way, don't forget to check out our latest innovation. It's the Uber of toothpaste!"

From: noreply@tøøther.com
Subject: Account closure

Dear User,

You have been rated 3 stars or lower by our toothbrushing partners in the last 14 days. For this reason we are closing your Tøøther account and revoking your toothpaste access. This decision is final and there is no appeal process.

Best regards,

Tøøther Trust And Safety Team.

InnerAlien,
@InnerAlien@mastodon.social avatar

@ajsadauskas @technology adds “enshitify” to personal vernacular

einfachnurRoland,

@ajsadauskas @technology could you also be no oil company, please?

Threadbane,
@Threadbane@newsie.social avatar

@ajsadauskas @technology
Libertarian - Republican without the Jesus gimmick.

zuuuzuuu,

@ajsadauskas @technology sadly true. This speech has to be famous (congrats). I share it

virtualbri,
@virtualbri@mastodon.online avatar

deleted_by_author

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  • scrummy,
    @scrummy@jawns.club avatar

    @virtualbri @ajsadauskas @technology Every disruption is an existing thing we figured out how to extract rents from

    hapbt,

    @ajsadauskas @technology when we go out of business though we expect to be bailed out just like all the regulated industries

    eri,

    @ajsadauskas @technology welcome to the worst timeline :-(

    AgentOrangesicle,
    @AgentOrangesicle@lemmy.world avatar

    Yo, you looking to recruit? I’m unabashedly brazen with sharing my search history.

    Furries have to get to space somehow.

    atwerp,

    This sounds just like every startup’s pitch to venture capital firms :)

    Hamishcampbell,

    @ajsadauskas @technology

    Yep #dotcons is what we have been calling this for 20 years. It's a mess we have pushed over ourselves.

    skribe,
    @skribe@aus.social avatar

    @ajsadauskas @technology I see you know my Facebook friends too 😁

    pseudonym,
    @pseudonym@mastodon.online avatar

    @ajsadauskas @technology

    Torment Nexus (tm) now with an extensive library of add-on modules.

    Installing "Uber of toothpaste"

    GhostOnTheHalfShell,
    @GhostOnTheHalfShell@masto.ai avatar

    deleted_by_author

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  • PostmodernPythia,

    Fiefs.

    AgreeableLandscape,

    @ajsadauskas @technology We're not an utter vaporware scam, we're an investment opportunity!

    FlyingSquid,

    You left out, “once we get the IPO, we’re fucking right off with our billions.”

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