Y'all know I reminisce about the craziest stuff. This morning I'm remembering my French teacher who announced that anyone who had an 'A' average was exempt from the final exam but had to show up. 🤷🏽♀️ I woke up to a very sick 4 yo who couldn't go to daycare. WTF was I supposed to do? I called my teacher and told him what was up and he said ok but he sounded annoyed, like I had made it all up. Ain't easy being a mom.
My son was born when I was a senior in college and the way my life turned out could have been so different. I graduated on time because I had accrued extra hours and my mom wasn't working so the baby stayed with her during the day when I went back for my last semester. I was extremely lucky in both cases. Lots of young women never finish school once they have babies. And day care in the 70s was just terrible for babies. If not for my mom, I probably would have stayed home.
There is one main reason I have a problem with white male politicians and judges deciding for me about reproductive rights. (Ok, at 67 I'm not worried about my personal reproductive rights.) Being wealthy, white and male they can not possibly decide for all women whether or when they should decide to have children. (That whole Pro-Life thing is a smokescreen.)
And while partners can vote, they don't have the deciding vote. When men start having babies, then they are allowed to decide.
My husband always did his part, which was to serve as breadwinner while I was a student. We had already flipped the script by him dropping out of school and working because I had been offered a fellowship and we couldn't count on it resurfacing in the future. But he worked as a welder - good pay, grueling conditions, no benefits and, if you didn't show up, you wouldn't still have a job. I know the struggle firsthand.
I frequently hear people who were brought up middle class who don't understand being poor. I remember a story about a script writer for a TV show who fought against the story line of the young son of a Black family being upset because his parents could not afford the latest sneakers. This clueless writer said "It's not believable. Why wouldn't his parents just use a credit card?" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
My thought was y'all have the wrong writers. Can't apply a middle class solution to poor people's problems.
@doctorjaymarie I'll never forget the first car I bought. I was in my early 20s and barely scraping by. It was a gold Chevy Cavalier with a sunroof. It was used but only had 30k miles on it and was in good shape. I was so proud of it - my first car! A woman I worked with actually said to me, "Why didn't you buy a new car? That thing won't last more than a few years". I never forgot that. Such arrogance and ignorance. And, by the way, that car lasted TEN years. 😀
@dancinyogi@doctorjaymarie I say, beware of people who say other people's problems are easy to fix--that's the sign of a privileged mind. Thank you both for sharing these stories.
People can't resist expressing their negativity and presumed superiority in all matters, even those that don't concern them or that they know nothing about. I think that's why, over time, I don't listen to other people unless they have proven expertise, such as a mechanic who looked under the hood and said 'Nope'.
Always trust yourself and tell the naysayers 'Different strokes, baby."
@dancinyogi@doctorjaymarie They would never understand... going to the food bank or for free food distribution. Or, having no insurance and a ill partner who needed care. Or having to spend down one's small wage (w/no benefits) to qualify for medical care. Or going through medical bankruptcy and then living on the partner's disability payments. Or having a partner die and be left without any money (and no credit).
What I'm talking about is not necessarily a Black or White issue. I had many firmly middle class Black friends when I was growing up. Their parents were professionals and they lived in nice houses, drove fancy cars and dressed nice.
I lived in a shotgun house (owned not rented, though) and we didn't have a car (Mom didn't drive). We ate well and my Mom bought us nice clothes, but she worked the layaway/store credit to her best advantage and planned ahead. She was always in debt.
I grew up on VA and SS survivor's benefits (my dad died in the military). We never considered it government subsistence; my father paid for it with his life. It was a very small income. At the time, I know my mom juggled paying bills (she called it robbing Peter to pay Paul.) Each month she paid every bill but one (mortgage was excluded from this lottery.) But she raised us, got 3 of 5 of us through college and on our own. She was a good woman and I think she did just fine.
@doctorjaymarie It can be really difficult to explain poverty to middle class people! But, of course, they're invested in not understanding poverty because if they did they'd have to question it's systemic (not moral) nature and that it could quite easily be remedied. (Sure part of it is no lived experience and naiveté but there's also a sort of psychological block because they believe they'd bulk buy/save/cleverly shop their way around any of the many, many extra costs and logistical difficulties of being poor using their middle class money saving strategies.)
@fifilamoura@doctorjaymarie When my kids were younger money was TIGHT. I learned how to bootleg electricity because ours was often cutoff. I used to tell people that story and they were SHOCKED! But its ok now...statute of limitations passed years ago 😆
In my 20s I was so poor that I got enough to eat by stealing food that was going to be thrown away at work. Other times I just didn’t have enough to eat.
When I talk about it with my students (and my own kids), well—they trust me, but they just don’t believe it.
Oh, I can believe it. Many poor families are food insecure.
My family was lucky. My mom knew how to stretch a meal so we were never really hungry. Plus food in New Orleans was cheap and plentiful (cost of living was also good then). We also had friends and neighbors who fished fresh water lakes and brought us part of the catch. And my aunt and uncle brought 'care' packages every holiday.
@doctorjaymarie@jameshowell@fifilamoura So many of my students in FL had both food insecurity and housing insecurity. I had more than a few who lived in cars when they were children. For such a rich nation, it is disgraceful that we have so many people who are really living on a thin wire...too thin.
So true. People now have fewer safety nets than ever available. And Republicans want to take all that remains away! How do they convince themselves the victims are at fault?
@Bongolian@doctorjaymarie@jameshowell@fifilamoura Many of our staff at UF had food insecurity. I wonder though, if it's every day can we still call it an "emergency," which implies it's temporary as opposed to a chronic condition of under paying their staff...
Add comment