@mckennas@chaosfem.tw
@mckennas@chaosfem.tw avatar

mckennas

@mckennas@chaosfem.tw

We are a low-partitioned system in the head of a #trans woman. We're friendly, curious, geeky, trans, autistic (most probably audhd), and plural. We are, in no particular order:

— The McKenna sisters: Tilly, Maggie, and Rowena
— 'Nellie', 'Jacqueline', 'Olivia', and 'Sam'
— several others who haven't posted yet

(Piccrew is of Tilly, who usually does almost all of the posting. The rest of us explicitly sign our posts.)

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

futurebird, (edited ) to random
@futurebird@sauropods.win avatar

Best movement of “The Planets” by Holst?

mckennas,
@mckennas@chaosfem.tw avatar

@futurebird
We love it, and we'd love it even more if it didn't feel to us like a very clever riff on the Sorcerer's Apprentice! (Which we also love, to be fair.)

Uranus is my favourite, in part because it's underplayed and good fun and a little gremliny, but we get pretty powerful visualisations with Jupiter.

— Maggie

futurebird, to random
@futurebird@sauropods.win avatar

You know the early humans who lived in Europe 25k years ago? The ones with stone tools who carved thicc portable woman statues?

How many do you think there were in all of Europe?

I'm shocked to learn the estimates are only 30,000 people! Hardly even a small town... and spread over so much space. Humans were rare animals. Our shift to numerous is more extreme than I think we realize.

It explains why technology changed so slowly. Not enough people!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTn5KdsxZ0E

mckennas,
@mckennas@chaosfem.tw avatar

@futurebird
<goose meme>
Endangered by what?
</goose meme>

I wonder what population density is sustainable in the absence of people...

— Maggie

JoscelynTransient, to mentalhealth
@JoscelynTransient@chaosfem.tw avatar

Gotta say, it's been a while since i felt straight up "mentally ill," but that's where I've been sitting this last week. Usually, it's more of a mental health condition to manage or there are life circumstances to address, but lately it's disordered my life and left me feeling downright mentally sick.

Heck, off and on for months, my major depression, with borderline and dissociation sprinkled in for good measure, have been flaring up and leaving me effectively disabled for days at a time. Might be time to adjust my meds again (seems like i gotta do that once a year and always wind up at the same med and dose anyway 🤷🏼‍♀️), or maybe it's something else (hormones have been stable as far as i can tell).

Anywho, not fishing for support or advice, but rather to be transparent and destigmatize talking about mental illness.

It's okay to not be okay, and it's okay to talk about it. 💖

mckennas,
@mckennas@chaosfem.tw avatar

@JoscelynTransient 🫂

mckennas, to random
@mckennas@chaosfem.tw avatar

morning Fedi 🌄

Impossible_PhD, to trans
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

When a trans person comes out, one of the most common, and challenging, parts of doing so is responding to family members who say they need to grieve us. A lot of pain, on every side, tends to swirl around the members of a relationship when that happens.

But it's not necessarily--even commonly--a bad thing.

This week on , we're talking about Letting Them Let Go--when family members grieve us in transition.

https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/letting-them-let-go

mckennas,
@mckennas@chaosfem.tw avatar

@Impossible_PhD
thanks for teaching us about complex grief, this is a useful concept to have 🧡

Impossible_PhD, to random
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

There's a few odd things in transition that deep, deep parts of me very longingly want in a very sex and gender way, but which are flatly impossible, with no prospects of ever becoming possible. Like, hard sci fi levels of not possible.

And sometimes I really don't know what to do about them.

mckennas,
@mckennas@chaosfem.tw avatar

@Impossible_PhD
Ooooooh yeah, we've trodden that ground before. Just a bit more than a year ago iirc.

I don't know whether it's a good idea or not, to explore all the boxes that it would tick, to have things like florescent eyes, luminous indicator spots between my eye and my temple, possibly with some exposed shining chrome; to say nothing of the actual functionality that it implies. (Indicator lights are pretty, but I'd want them to indicate.)

I hadn't ever thought about that through the same lens as being trans before you mentioned it last year (that both of these are transhumanist). It's interesting to think of it as an actual gender, or collection of genders.

Is it a good idea to explore transition goals in such a case? Where the technology actually does not exist?

I think that there is a time-worn answer from queer culture, among people for whom medical transition is not available for other reasons...

— Nellie

mckennas, to random
@mckennas@chaosfem.tw avatar

Hi everyone.

We're at a low energy ebb. Possibly because the stress has finally relented and we're letting ourselves slow down.

It almost feels as though we're in mourning. Of a year, or of something else, we don't know.

— Nellie

Impossible_PhD, to random
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

Ughhh I'm feeling really really lonely tonight.

mckennas,
@mckennas@chaosfem.tw avatar

@Impossible_PhD
Hugs offered Zoe 🫂

— Sam

RickiTarr, (edited ) to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

Here's something I've been thinking about lately:

Does society need psychopathic behavior? Does it exist for a Social or Natural Evolutionary purpose?

I have edited the questions somewhat to emphasize behavior and not a person themselves.

mckennas,
@mckennas@chaosfem.tw avatar

@Itty53 @RickiTarr @ferricoxide
Does evolution hold power over wild bees any more? What about ants?

Of a successful animal type which seems to be stable over tens of millions of years, such as crocodilians, would one say that evolution holds no power over them?

Are humans very special in that we have in some way 'won' the contest of evolution, and broken free? Or are we just one example (among several on Earth) of a very successful animal family?

What is the secret of our success, and what were the forces that shaped that strategy?

— Nellie

mckennas,
@mckennas@chaosfem.tw avatar

@ferricoxide @RickiTarr @Itty53
Sure. But that plasticity itself came about somehow.

Even if you want to put forward the element of luck (which is significant), that randomness got filtered. Water molecules bounce around more or less randomly, but surface tension and gravity turn that into the behaviour of a flowing liquid.

That randomness led to incremental changes, squeaking through near-extinction once or twice, resulting in an animal with social behaviour so complex that it developed a capacity for communication that (some hundreds of thousands of years later) turned out to be adequate to describe universal computation. And eventually, that animal re-invented agriculture.

So anyway, there's a lot going on with humanity (as with any complex animal), but it strikes me that one of the secrets of our success is that we're a very social species. We invented the word 'gregarious' and talk about it like it's a good thing. And that's a result of natural selection.

— Nellie

JoscelynTransient, to queer
@JoscelynTransient@chaosfem.tw avatar

Hot take that's bound to get me cancelled for being a bad queer: I hate astrology 😅

For some reason, as a trans person, it irks me when people want to impose an idea of who I'm supposed to be based upon the circumstances of my birth. And when I tell people this, they say, oh, well, that makes sense... you're a Sagittarius after all 😅

mckennas, (edited )
@mckennas@chaosfem.tw avatar

@JoscelynTransient
We went through a childhood phase of being fascinated with astrology, because of how it tied in with astronomy and Greek mythology, the iconography, the promise of people being predictable, and by what our sign was meant to say about us. It was pretty flattering.

We don't buy into that stuff nowadays, and we've forgotten most of what little we knew. I'd rather explore some sort of more dramatic form of headology if we were to invest energy into anything like that again. But if someone calls us a Gemini, we have to admit they're not exactly wrong.

— Rowena

rooster, to random
@rooster@chaosfem.tw avatar

deleted_by_author

    •
    mckennas,
    @mckennas@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @rooster
    Nice! You did get that Breast Augmentation × 2.0 in the end.
    — Sam

    Terra, to random

    deleted_by_author

    •
    mckennas,
    @mckennas@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @Terra
    aw Terra 🧡 there is surely a flirtatious sapphic Amazonian queen out there for you, somewhere!

    mckennas, to random
    @mckennas@chaosfem.tw avatar

    so many more people are trans, than society realises
    so many more people are autistic, than society realises
    so many more people are polyam, than society realises
    so many more people are ace, than society realises

    once this was even true of gay / bi / pan people as well, and we have our suspicions about other interesting and not widely acknowledged ways of being!

    the world is Queer. it just doesn't get widely acknowledged

    mckennas,
    @mckennas@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @o76923 @jimllmixit
    you have me wondering how widely true this is. if it were interpreted close to literally, you'd never get a percentage less than 20% for any demographic that you ask about. so people would guess that 20% of all people are, e.g., wheel-chair users, and they're somehow always lurking out of sight

    do they really think there are that many, or are they panicking slightly and making up a number to answer the pollster, without reflecting that anything over 10% is definitely a group that you'd have trouble avoiding just by accident? that it's basically common at that point?

    i don't actually think, that people act as though it's common to be trans, for example...

    but are as many as 10% of people trans? or much fewer? it's very tricky, because it is not necessarily something they'll admit, even to themselves! until they do, that is.

    whatever their challenges with maths, people seem to treat trans people (and autistic people, and...) as a rare minority

    foolisholivia, to random

    like i kinda do feel like i am split up into different people sometimes but i always feel like i am at the center of everything. almost like it's me & someone else rather me or someone else. is that a thing? i feel like my brain is thinking too much

    mckennas,
    @mckennas@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @foolisholivia
    It is totally a thing. Depending on what you mean, it could be like how we here are, or like how some other people we know are. There is a lot of room for variation!

    If you want some resources, we aren't what you'd call experts, but we know of some friendly links that we found informative.

    Good luck in exploring this question. Wherever it leads, don't push or pull very hard. Be kind to yourselves or yourself, how ever many or few people live in your head.

    — Maggie

    Terra, to random

    deleted_by_author

    •
    mckennas,
    @mckennas@chaosfem.tw avatar

    so many hugs offered, @Terra 🫂 🧡

    JoscelynTransient, to trans
    @JoscelynTransient@chaosfem.tw avatar

    Given my own transition experience, I'm pretty sure every romcom about a uptight guy whose life is changed by a manic pixie dream girl is just a metaphor for having your egg crack and discovering you've been a bubbly, neurodivergent queer girl all along.

    mckennas,
    @mckennas@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @JoscelynTransient
    it me 😄

    Impossible_PhD, to random
    @Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

    Blech, the last couple of days have been tough ones for the ol' rejection sensitivity.

    mckennas,
    @mckennas@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @Impossible_PhD
    hugs offered Zoe, you're so awesome 🧡 🧡

    futurebird, to random
    @futurebird@sauropods.win avatar

    Is it possible to teach an introvert to be an extrovert (if they were presumably motivated to change) ? Would it be possible to transform extroverts into introverts through some program of calming and conditioning?

    mckennas,
    @mckennas@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @futurebird
    I have seen speculation that some introverts, are just traumatised extroverts, who can and do revert to type if they think it's safe to do so. Anecdotally it checks out to me.

    (The specific case being considered was autistic people, especially w.r.t infodumping and interacting on the Internet, but I don't see why the principle wouldn't apply more generally.)

    — Nellie

    kristiedegaris, (edited ) to random
    @kristiedegaris@mastodon.scot avatar

    Just a thought...

    I don't know why a 16 year old would fell the Sycamore Gap tree, but I do know that all children have ever witnessed is nature treated as a commodity, everything else prioritised above the natural environment. The blame for this act doesn't really lie with one child.

    It is sad. I was sad too, but trees are felled all the time, the natural environment around us plundered and spoiled. Get that sad/angry every day! And not with children, get angry on behalf of the children.

    mckennas, (edited )
    @mckennas@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @kristiedegaris
    Yes, this... And: there's also a point that some people are making, that it's pretty expertly cut, for a bit of random vandalism...

    https://autonomous.zone/@SallyStrange/111148516966996037

    So, definitely get angry on behalf of the children, and put your anger at particular 16 year olds on hold for a moment.

    — Nellie

    futurebird, to random
    @futurebird@sauropods.win avatar

    It’s not a public square until it is controlled by the public democratically. Anything less is a substitute, a stand in for The Big Conversation we probably should be having.

    The fears people have about “collective action for the common good” aren’t trivial. The potential for corruption, cheating and diversion of the public will to private whims is real.

    Too many people are more comfortable letting some powerful man tell them “I’ll take care of people like you” and screw the Big Conversation.

    mckennas,
    @mckennas@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @futurebird
    Absolutely. In other words:

    It's only a public square if it is owned by the public, otherwise it's a park-like enclosure.

    — Maggie & Rowena

    Terra, to random

    deleted_by_author

    •
    mckennas,
    @mckennas@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @Terra this is beautiful, and you deserve happiness such as this 🧡

    Liquidream, to random
    @Liquidream@mastodon.gamedev.place avatar

    We're going back to the 90's for my current entry into Jam 2023! 🖼️👀
    (I'll give you a clue - it's not a sailboat 😉)
    A few more tweaks/optimisations to make the most of 1KB and I'll be done 🤓

    A recording of an autostereogram (stereo 3d image) being created live within a small PICO-8 cart, which will hopefully be under 1KB when finished

    mckennas,
    @mckennas@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @Liquidream
    you've helped us to understand how any of these are meant to work! 😃

    foolisholivia, to random

    i love milking girls so much i want build a barn to keep some cuties in and milk them daily

    mckennas,
    @mckennas@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @foolisholivia
    great! 😃 do we have to wear anything apart daisy dukes and work boots? we don't want to get any loose clothes caught in any machinery

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