Via New York Times Pitchbot @DougJBalloon
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12m
How it started. How it’s going.
@ Aaron Rupar @atrupar Brennan to Noem: "At the very end of the book, you say the very first thing you'd do if you got to the White House is you'd make sure Biden's dog is nowhere on the grounds. 'Commander, say hello to cricket." Noem responds by suggesting Commander should be put down
Via New York Times Pitchbot @DougJBalloon
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7m
The Judge Who Loved Me
Shaken but never stirred, GoldenTongue John Roberts is stalling for Trump like 007 with a trigger-happy terrorist. He might make those insurrection charges die another day, but he's of no help in Donnie's Octopussy trial.
Via New York Times Pitchbot @DougJBalloon
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1h
My four year-old was watching the Trump trial when he turned to be gravely and asked "Daddy, why is everyone on Trump's legal team making such a terrible face?" And when I told him "Because Trump just farted," he started crying.
Via New York Times Pitchbot @DougJBalloon
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3h
We didn’t have ex-presidents shamelessly selling bibles, gold sneakers, and meme stocks when Trump was in the White House.
"Remember, all I am offering is the truth. You take the blue pill, you go back to sleep, believe whatever you want to. You take the red pill, you see how far the rabbit hole goes."
"Wait. These are these just NyQuil and DayQuil...?"
"Indeed. As I said, I offer you the truth: A good nap and clear sinuses, or you stay awake, blow your nose, and learn what The Mucous really is."
Via New York Times Pitchbot @DougJBalloon
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4h
John Adams said that ‘the government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion.’ But X user @purityballdad isn’t so sure.
Via New York Times Pitchbot @DougJBalloon
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7m
It would be a miscarriage of justice to force Trump to sell his buildings for what they're really worth, and not the inflated amounts that he valued them at.
Via New York Times Pitchbot @DougJBalloon
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1h
Analysis | With Ronna McDaniel snatched off the market by NBC News, ABC and CBS must now enter a bidding war for Catturd.