Are you prepared for an audio transformation that will escalate your soul and allow you to transcend the horrors of reality? Immerse yourself in the cosmic rhythms as you take an intergalactic journey through the Manic Sounds of a #disabled#bipolar man today, and let these soundscapes export you to another dimension https://2ndshot.photos/downloads/manic-sounds/
One of my most severe and long lasting psychotic episodes was fed and nourished by politics and news. Specifically, it was triggered during the early days of an infamous presidential candidacy.
Every time I see a related post in my feed without a cw, my eyes are initially drawn to it, and then a little bit of anxiety is dropped in into my bucket. I have to actively talk myself through every little drop of anxiety, but the fear is that my bucket will eventually fill up, potentially leading to another episode.
I like to occasionally bring this up because it is important to those of us who are affected by politics.
*This was my response to a post in my feed, but I didn’t want to overwhelm the original poster with all the hashtags so I just copied it here.
The physical side effects of having my lithium raised from 900 -> 1,800mg were rough but the last time we bumped by “just” 600 I was ready to jump into the ocean.
The longer I struggle with psychosis in my life, the more uncomfortable I become with people casually throwing around of "psychotic, psycho, psychopath," in contexts that have nothing to do with mental illness. I see it here, I just did minutes ago, and it made me feel gross.
I am psychotic, sometimes, when unwell, but not all the time. Bipolar can have a psychotic component. Psychotic disorders have psychosis as a primary feature. But I'm not a psycho or psychopath. My ex has called me a psycho, which is unfair and cruel.
Psychopathy is a descriptive word for a particular flavor of person with traits falling under a cluster b personality disorder, specifically antisocial personality disorder, aspd. The other flavor is sociopath. Neither psychopath nor sociopath are diagnoses, they both fall under ASPD.
You possibly interact with people who experience psychosis and you don't even know it. I would hazard a guess that people here wouldn't have thought I have a psychotic disorder if I didn't talk about it ad infinitum. Me doing this actually helps with visibility of an often invisible illness, and helps towards destigmatization. I hope.
was mir auf den sack geht ist diese ungleichbehandlung von psychischen erkrankungen in der gesellschaft #depressionen, #adhs oder, wie in meinem fall, #autismus sind so die "cuties" unter den psychischen störungen
hast du aber eine #psychose, #schizophrenie, #ptbs, bist #bipolar, #borderline oder hast ne #suchterkrankung dann musst du schon scheisse viel glück haben damit dich jemand abholt
I'm a grumpy person.
I acknowledge I am a grumpy person. I am ashamed of being a grumpy person. The situations that make me grumpy are shoved into my life and I try to stop every little thing shoved annoyingly into my life, but I cant stop other people. I try, but they will do what they do.
I dont like being a grumpy person.
I am a grumpy person.
At least I'm not a bully or murderer.
I care so much, it hurts.
I wish I wasnt a grumpy person.
I dont control my mood.
I observe. #BiPolar
I've never posted an #introduction so here it is, finally!
We're Rak, a plural system consisting of Anna, Kat, and Farah (among others). All of our pronouns are she/her and it's fine to refer to our whole system as such.
We're panromantic, grey-asexual, and polyamorous! Very leftist, not religious. We also have ADHD, OCD, and Bipolar II, so hopefully we can find others to relate and share experiences with.
We'll each write our own little mini-intros for anyone interested!
💙 I'm Anna ^^ more often than not I'm in front, though very often alongside Kat. I'm a very nerdy blue catgirl. I'm pretty reserved, thoughtful, and deliberate, though also often anxious. I'm the linux nerd in our system ^^ I'm a sucker for optimization and efficiency in all things, and I love tinkering and customizing everything. I really enjoy factory building games and sandbox games.
Kat and I have a lot of overlap with our interests; together we're pretty creative and enjoy art, 3D modeling, music making, and gamedev. We both enjoy playing FFXIV (especially savage raiding and clubbing!), Monster Hunter, FromSoft games, and retro shooters.
💜 hiii i'm kat! i'm very extraverted, and i really love meeting and getting to know people! i'm really excited to be able to be myself here now, and i'll probably post a lot hehe.. i'm carefree, excitable, affectionate, and energetic. i can be pretty flirty at times! also i'm a catgirl too :3 i'd love to meet you!!
🤎 Hello, my name is Farah. I don't know if I'm going to really use social media much, but I wanted to give an introduction regardless. I do anything I can to make Anna and Kat's lives a little bit easier, though recently I've been exploring my own interests as well. I really love animals and nature. I'm happy to talk to anyone friendly!
This turned out to be a lot longer than expected, thanks for your interest ^^ Feel free to send us a DM, we'd love to talk about anything!
I received the light therapy light I ordered yesterday from Amazon, and I'm glad I ordered it when I did for it's another day of dark skies with tornado warnings thrown in. I didn't measure before ordering, so it's a bit big, but I like the color and shape, and my plants will probably appreciate the extra boost during our dark days together. I have it on the warmest setting because my eyes are a bit sensitive. I think it's pretty, though. 🌞#depression#SAD#bipolar
I have had many fights, fights and confrontations in my life. Sometimes for work and other times for personal reasons. But without a doubt the most exhausting and destructive war and struggle has been against depression and illness. It usually happens that people who have just met me perceive me as somewhat tough or aggressive or tough, I don't know. And I surely am. But if it weren't for that, I wouldn't have survived so many illnesses and the major depression that took me almost ten years to get out of, only to discover that I wasn't crazy but that I was autistic, bipolar, intelligent. Then all the internal struggles fell away, all those wars and chimeras, the war with myself.
The physical consequences, in the form of clinical illnesses, of a life as hectic as a roller coaster and the consequent mental collapse were the end of one life and the beginning of another. Sometimes I have wondered why I still talk about those things and recently I realized that I do it like someone who looks at their scars and shows them as trophies or decorations, as a memory of having survived a war, adversity or many things. . It's like saying "I'm here despite everything and thanks to what a bastard I am."
Most of the time I regret talking about my battles because I feel like an idiot, like the grandfather who always repeats his story. And I think that is indeed the case. I'm close to giving up digital social life because I don't find much value in it anymore, except for a very few people from whom I learn interesting things.
Two days ago I woke up from a nap with a seizure, or rather, I was woken up by my wife who was with me at the time. I didn't understand what was happening, she was disoriented and with her consciousness clouded, her neck, throat and tongue cramped, she could not speak or even think. I stayed like this for several minutes after the crisis until I began to realize that she was home and that the person shaking me was my wife. I have had strange events all my life but like never before. A Dr said it was a seizure, so today I finally have an appointment with a neurologist. Since then my brain and my body don't work the same. A feeling of numbness in almost the entire body, lassitude and extreme fatigue that refused to be relieved. Cognitively I don't feel deterioration, except for difficulty concentrating as I normally do and a certain depressed mood.
Years of neglect and ignoring what was happening to me contributed to me getting to this situation. Added to the stress of dangerous jobs and a tendency to hyper physical and mental activity. Finally, the fact of being autistic and the tremendous wear and tear of having lived contrary to myself and making an enormous effort to adapt and survive, even in the things that were good and happy in my life. Young autistic people could take advantage of the hard experience of older people diagnosed late, like me, to understand why the diagnosis is important and find the appropriate way to live, according to their own possibilities and abilities.
Take care. I don't have much thread left on the spool...
For a side project, I have been poking around the topic of #bipolar disorder and cognitive impairment. It’s grim reading; even in remission, people with BD have impaired verbal memory, attention and executive function. If you have BD you most likely do have additional challenges. You’re not just being rubbish! #MentalHealth
My #cat has taken to her carrier. It arrived today and I put it together and then put a trail of treats leading into the interior. She went inside and beside it and all around. She is now cozied up inside after dinner. It arrived at just the right time. I've decided we need to sleep in separate rooms. With #bipolar, I can't afford interrupted sleep. She has gradually taken to our arrangement and we're establishing a routine. It gratifies me so much to see this stray sweetie happy.
Has anyone else experienced psychiatric side-effects with Methocarbamol as a muscle relaxant? I have spastic #neuropathy and was prescribed, but after a month of feeling increasingly anxious and angry, I spent four solid days awake. Did the math, called my doc, stopped the med, but boy heck was that horrid! I'm #Bipolar RC, and I take Abilify along with Strattera for my ADHD. I had a similar, but less severe reaction to Flexaril, but doctor assured me this was different. Any alternatives known?
From the upcoming Salvation release, this is a song about the intersection of trauma and #bipolar depression or mixed states.
The original version was on my Deathphoria release. But that version was purely electronic, whereas this has all the doom #metal goodness you’d want from a song like this.
Also listen to @mykie ‘s guest vocals on verse 2 and verse 3 [chef kiss]
Last #bipolar post of the night and then I’m going to bed.
One of my most respected pals admitted to me that he and others were expecting my imminent death as little as six or so weeks ago. That the disease was going to win.
I’ve been crying thinking about that too. I had tried everything at the max dosages and nothing was working. Had the lithium not worked as fast as it did, the overwhelming odds were that I would have succumbed.
But I didn’t. And the lithium did work and quickly.