TheBreadmonkey

TheBreadmonkey, 7 days ago to random

It's so funny being het wanting to show solidarity and join in with Pride but not really knowing what some of it means and not wanting to offend anyone. Sort of like I'm your mum trying to join in with your conversation about your interests. I do hope you have a nice time with your leatherfolk friends doing all that kink you like. Don't forget to drink plenty of water and if you must do crime please make sure you're careful.

TheBreadmonkey, 6 days ago to random

The internet is a confusing place. I was looking for news stories about Mr Blobby, then I somehow fell down an INSANE rabbit-hole so that when my wife came in and asked what I'm doing because I'm supposed to be getting ready, I said to her the following..................

I'm trying to verify that the man who holds the record for inserting most creme eggs into his anus was eaten by a crocodile.

I hate the internet.

(It's 9!)

Edit - I don't know if they were wrapped or unwrapped and I don't know if he was eaten by a crocodile as the Daily Sport asserts in their article.

TheBreadmonkey, 5 days ago to random

I know I'm a big hippy, but imagine if we could rehabilitate the awful people. The good they could do in the world.

eleanorrees, 5 days ago to random

Thought I'd have a look at the minutes from the latest local NHS board meeting.

This is management-speak for "We're fucked."

TheBreadmonkey, 7 months ago to random

To any and all of my fellow brethren and sistren and othren and nothren who have to deal with the old Black Dog, I say this - any day you manage to get up and have a shower and get dressed you're already winning. Remember - small goals. Tiny tiny tiny miniscule wins if necessary. I salute all of you and remember - the universe is a vast unending, uncaring, unknowable, unfathomable 14 billion year old void. Entropy is the only truth, with humanity being no more important than the blade of grass. Each life a dust mote floating briefly into the light of a sunbeam then back into shadow, lost to time. Time itself a mere construct for our temporal and occipital lobes to translate the data around us into understandable information. The paradox of all life being sacred whilst simultaneously being entirely meaningless is how we shuffle along this mortal coil. Being bullied and scolded by the ruling classes that we're doing too much or not enough of something. The self-appointed moral arbiters of human life - themselves born no differently from us all, kicking and screaming onto this rock hurtling through space spinning at a thousand miles an hour. You can't park there. You must pay tax. Be a useful member of a society you had no hand in designing. None of it means anything. What I'm trying to say is - if you're in a shop and get muddled trying to say cheers and thanks at the same time and say 'chanks', don't worry about it. Soon all of this will be gone. You don't matter. You are matter. I love you. As I love myself. For we are all one.

TheBreadmonkey, 4 days ago to random

That TV trope where they realise who the killer is because they're always whistling the same song. Does anyone always whistle the same song? Is that a thing? I suppose I do often revert to absently sometimes whistling Black Grapes Reverend Black Grape, which is either not at all creepy or super creepy.

https://youtu.be/on5TLUz-ag4

TheBreadmonkey, 7 days ago to random

Monger Games
(iron and fish and that)

TheBreadmonkey, 6 days ago to random

GQs 1995 list of overrated things

TheBreadmonkey, 6 days ago to random

I don't think we need any more Marvel or Star Wars films or television for the moment

TheBreadmonkey, 5 days ago to random

I have so much anti-motivation today it's astounding. Like medically impossible. Against all laws of physics and probability. If you could bottle it, it could be used to end wars. To dispel riots. You could instantly stop capitalism in its tracks. I genuinely think I should be studied for science (and paid a million pounds).

TheBreadmonkey, 4 days ago to random

Art

TheBreadmonkey, 5 days ago to random

Rupert Murdoch is a ballbag

TheBreadmonkey, 6 days ago to random

Just got redirected to Reddit - not something I usually look at (but was reading a 'news' article about a giant slug that came from there), and one of the stories is 'where's all the banana yoghurt gone'.

Where has all the banana yoghurt gone? I haven't seen any in ages!

TheBreadmonkey, 4 days ago to random

I really wish people would start throwing porridge at Farage, just so I can think 'Nigel Porràge' when I see it.

TheBreadmonkey, 4 days ago to random

I just remembered I had an amazing idea in my dreams last night. Woke up buzzing thinking it could be an actually genuinely good idea. Now I remember it, I'm not so sure.

Picture this.....

The Disney film 'Inside Out', only it's a grown man.

Characters would be just fucking awful, with Horniness basically in charge of the whole show.

TheBreadmonkey, 4 days ago to random

I hath bolognesed too hard

TheBreadmonkey, 8 days ago to random

I'm supposed to be working

jef, 8 days ago to random

Today's front pages.

TheBreadmonkey, 8 days ago to random

I've just read the amazing post by Musk that if a former president can be criminally convicted of...... loads of crimes..... then so can YOU!

Sorry everyone. We all have to stop doing loads of crimes now. Trump has spoiled it for the rest of us. He crimed too hard. His only crime?...... crime.

TheBreadmonkey, 8 days ago to random

OK, I will give it to The Star, just this once

TheBreadmonkey, 8 days ago to random

Here's a fun thing that anyone can do if you want to give it a go! If you play this ABBA song, but instead of 'take a chance' you imagine they're singing 'Donald Trump', then this fun song with the wrong words will be stuck in your head for at least a day or two and will probably stay with you until you die. You're welcome, everyone!

(Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald-Donald Trump-Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald-Donald Trump-Trump)

ABBA. The Ayrian Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in Blankety Blank squares. The most Swedish people ever. They're singing.... Donald Trump Donald Trump Donald-Donald Trump-Trump Donald Trump Donald Trump Donald-Donald Trump-Trump.