I’m reading Joan Didion’s “The Year of Magical Thinking”, in which she describes appearing rational after her husband’s sudden death but privately expecting him to return. And I remember the first time that I lost someone that I was close to and the strangeness of navigating a world that simply went on as before. How could the sky still be cloudless? How could all of the other drivers on the road not know that a cataclysm had severed the timeline into “before” and “after”? I looked into strangers’ eyes, bewildered by their ignorance.
I have now lived more years in the “after” than the “before”. And while I still think of my friend often and the sadness does not disrupt me, my astonishment has grown and accreted the endurance of other losses (e.g., of a sense of safety, goodness, possibility, the physical ease of my body, the confidence that competence will overcome circumstance). And, of course, my burdens and survival are not unusual. The fact that any of us make it through and the sun comes up on schedule is damned impressive.
I have also come to recognize that this palpable sense of absence extends back to way before I could label the feeling. Like, in order to even come into this life, I had to give up something that I can’t quite remember but miss terribly.
The report, from #Pew Research Center, is one of the biggest yet on the nones, & it adds detail to this constituency that has been growing across a wide variety of demographic categories, including #age, #race, #political leaning & #education level. As the nation’s fastest-growing segment of #religion (or #nonreligion) in recent decades, the nones may reflect the front line of future #spirituality.
Pew asked about various #civic metrics, including whether respondents had volunteered in the past year, had voted in recent midterm elections or follow public affairs closely. The rates for nones are similar to those of #people who have a #religious affiliation but don’t attend religious services. In other words, the issue appears to be more about involvement in groups than religious labels or associations.
How do you like to say goodbye? To pieces of your life? To stages, places, hopes or dreams? Are there any #rituals you do to let go of things that no longer serve you and move forward in a healthy way? Asking for a friend who needs ideas and whose brain does well with examples. #grief#spirituality