I'm trying to put together a short list of the basic concepts that are essential to understanding the #ActuallyAutistic experience of life. These can be helpful for explaining things to allistics/neurotypicals, but also for seeing ourselves from our own perspective instead of how we are failed NTs. I think it's just a few (albeit big) concepts. Here's my basic list:
#AskingAutistics Do you have your own short list of concepts for understanding or explaining #autism? What are the big ideas that shape your experience of #autistic life?
Just a handful of quick #WritingWonders answers for this month to get caught up! (Hi, gang! 👋 I missed y'all and hope y'all are well. I'll probably participate only sporadically till this #WIP is finished.)
My new WIP is a #queer supernatural mystery #romance codenamed #SeymourAndMilo (because I haven't made an official title announcement yet). The image is a crop of the in-progress book cover I've been working on, just so you can see what the protagonists look like (left: Seymour, right: Milo).
Day 1: If one of the protags showed up on my doorstep? I'd squint warily through my peephole like a true Millennial, then think to myself: "Oh my God, what is this [hot goth guy/hot priest (depending which one it is)] doing at my door???"
Day 2: Most readers will probably adore Milo from the start. Seymour's a prickly burr, but if folks stick with him they'll quickly learn he's all squish underneath.
Day 5: Seymour has been involved in a pretty significant (meta)physical altercation in the past. (We don't talk about it.)
Day 6: MILO: [can't think of anything that makes him /angry/-angry...maybe the U.S. mental health care system?] SEYMOUR: "Are you looking for a fucking monologue?"
Day 10: Weapon of choice? SEYMOUR: "My hands. But...not in the way you think." MILO: "My height and extraordinary chill. And, of course, the power of luv 🥺"
Day 15: Intimacy scenes? It's a romance. In a word: Yes.
Day 16: I'm good at and enjoy writing intimacy scenes. They can be a little awkward to share, of course, depending on the audience.
Day 17: SEYMOUR: "My ex-girlfriend, Lottie." MILO: "I give a lot of hugs, so I'm really not sure who the last person I hugged was...but I've never kissed anyone."
Day 19: Support the status quo? Hell, no. Seymour and Milo are both rebels in their own ways. (Seymour go smash; Milo gently expose the uncomfortable emotional truth that make you That Way.)
Day 21: Seymour's only a few months sober and drinks way too much coffee. Milo favors chamomile tea.
Day 22: Seymour doesn't have a friend group. Milo...doesn't either? Milo has a parish (and maintains good relationships with others in helping professions in Beacon Bay Isle and the surrounding townships). And no, Milo never causes drama in his parish...aside from pissing off the senior rector, usually by "going off script" when it's his day to give the homily.
Trying to recoop after getting triggered last night from something completely insignificant
To my #CPTSD it was the end of the world and I just collapsed mentally hyperly aware of how ridiculous it would look to anyone else not feeling what my nervous system was feeling
This is my life as a #TraumaSurvivor and today I'm paying for it with 11/10 physical pain
I've been asking myself a lot of big questions and doing a lot of introspection into my #neurodiversity and #cptsd and wooooo boy did I not realize the definitions I thought for a lot of things were actually backwards.
Like I always thought things like '#perfectionism' was about trying to be perfect in every aspect in your life but it's the opposite: You refuse to allow yourself to fail. To not be good at things right away. To not take 'better than last time' as enough.
Something I haven’t talked about publicly because I’m scared someone in my family will see it:
In trying to heal my #BPD and #cPTSD I’ve had to dig deep into my childhood and look for the roots of my #trauma.
And this time… I found them. Or rather - “it”. There is just one root for all of my many many many mental health troubles and life issues for as long as I remember.
It’s my mother.
My mother, who I still maintain contact with. She was my abuser.
Holy moly. I didn't think I had gender dysphoria (like it's normal to grow up and be an adult thinking you're "bad at being a girl/woman") but this has blown my mind in an aha-holy shit kinda way. Amazing work here.
The fantastic @Impossible_PhD has been writing a powerful series about trans trauma over the last few weeks. It's well worth a read and subscribe if you are trans or you've ever wanted to understand more about what it is that trans people deal with.
I'll even broaden it out to - so many of the #cPTSD experiences that us trans folks deal with generalize and have their echos in all #neurodiverse , #autistic, #adhd , and other marginalized peoples' childhoods. It turns out, growing up "different" really fucks you up in a whole shitload of ways.
A friend asked me earlier tonight if I had "processed" some stuff that happened to me a while back, and I jokingly told her "My philosophy on emotional processing is: I ain't got time to bleed."...
i'd like to compile some resources on things like mental health community peer support and emotional first aid, and so i'm asking for recommendations.
we are all quite aware that healthcare in the US is a travesty, but even for people who do have access to quality therapists and the like, it just doesn't sit right with me that "maybe you should talk to a therapist about that" is so commonly the only substantial support given to others.
emotional work is still work, and disabled communities often don't have the spoons to help each other effectively... but as an autist who does much better in situations when i know what's expected or needed of me, i'm inclined to believe that it would genuinely be very healing and empowering to learn how to help each other, get our hands on more resources, and have alternative options to offer in tandem with "seek professional help."
this can absolutely include how to protect and care for oneself when a friend or loved one is in crisis, and how to set boundaries and step away from a situation when someone's in need but you just aren't able to help.
so... i'm doing research! does anyone have any articles, books, organizations, anything? this is primarily for mental health, though i believe in the same principles for physical health and also advocate for learning physical first aid as spoons and resources allow!
if there are huge glaring issues with this approach, i'm also interested in hearing why and getting resources that address those.
content note: episode 3 has a fucked-up "gender panic" plot. i reeeeally hate the anime convention where 2 characters are trying to determine the gender of an ambiguously-gendered 3rd character. it is sooooo fucked up. and it's always used as a throwaway comedic thing. hate. it.
Fully aware that this sounds like a conspiracy theory, but the #neurodivergent (specifically #AuDHD) movement is so fascinating to witness through an evolutionary lens. We are quite literally experiencing how society comes to terms with an accelerating genetic mutation. Growing evidence points towards #adhd and #autism as differing presentations of the same underlying mutation. Highly co-morbid conditions like #depression, #anxiety, and #ocd could be #cptsd from ongoing social trauma? Wild.
I’m so freaked out by medical stuff (not to mention severe pda) I’ve never had a primary care doctor only a pediatrician 10+ years ago and urgent care visits when needed since then. Anyway. Now I’m at a doctor and it’s the worst I hate it here it smells disgusting and I want to leave how do people do this every few weeks help 😭
Can anyone recommend a good #EMDR therapist for online treatment? I'm trying to research it on my own and it's exhausting. A testimonial from someone saying 'this one knows their stuff and isn't a dick/is easy to talk to' would really help. The ones I've found don't seem to offer sample sessions like other therapists. The last therapist i approached did have a sample session and was awful, so I'm wary.
Woman or non-binary person preferred. Experience with #CPTSD preferred if you know. #therapy
"I ain't got time to bleed."
A friend asked me earlier tonight if I had "processed" some stuff that happened to me a while back, and I jokingly told her "My philosophy on emotional processing is: I ain't got time to bleed."...