@actuallyautistic#ActuallyAutistic what are everyone’s thoughts on signing cards (birthday, etc.) at work, where you do not really know the person, but there is an implied expectation that you do so
@filmfreak75@actuallyautistic use ChatGPT to generate some generic fluff and write that. It saves you the mental effort to think of something. Yes I have done this.
Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 220 , Tuesday 04/06/2024
My Pavlovian response got me up at 06:30, so hobbled down to breakfast.
The meds the Doc gave me yesterday are doing the biz as far as reducing the pain goes, if not the swelling.
It’s so nice to be able to walk again , even if it is only a shuffling gait!
The meds are also messing with my digestive system, had an egg butty for lunch which grumbled its way thru me this afternoon. So rather than a some ham & a bit of salad for tea it was soup, again !
Oh I hope this speed of recovery is maintained!
Final Thoughts.
Every thought I have at the moment is directed at getting my foot back to normal & not looking like a prop front the Elephant Man !
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@dgar@Tim_McTuffty@mathi_gwithyas oi I have just rebuilt it after it was totalled by the rogue grey squirrel in their surprise raid. They also took all the nuts!
@actuallyautistic#actuallyautistic Any tips on how to deal with imposter syndrome? 😅 It's really been affecting me lately, and I'm not sure why.
I feel like I can never quite be certain that the things I KNOW are true about myself are actually true, like my brain is willingly playing tricks on itself.
@chevalier26@actuallyautistic For me it's helpful to immediately recognise, that it's just imposter syndrom.
That way I remember that I've gone through it before and have a shortcut to get out of it.
Nowadays I usually only get imposter syndrom, when I'm in a phase, where my memory problems get worse, but even then, remembering that it's just imposter syndrom and that I'll remember, why my current thoughts are inappropriate, helps for the feeling to not become as strong and wear of quicker.
@hauchvonstaub@actuallyautistic That's very true. It does help me if I confront it head-on and basically say "this is a thought process I'm having right now, and it will pass" and that's the truth 100% of the time, even if it feels like it'll last an eternity.
It's like if I "feel blue" or have a period where I am not particularly happy for some reason (e.g., autistic burnout before I knew what autistic burnout was), I know it will pass and I'll go back to being my true self in time.
Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 219 , Monday 03/06/2024
Another disturbed night, slightly better than last night because I had learnt some lessons on ewhat my foot would & would not tolerate.
Went to see the GP this morning, I have, in fact, got gout . So on a 4 day course of Colchicine … the GP was very specific about the 4 days - apparently 5 days = my entire digestive system liquifying & a decent stay in the local hospital !
The new meds are working a storm in association with the pain killers , this evening I am walking (well shuffling) sans crutches ! It hurts like hell, but importantly it is bearable !
I hope that this means that I will get some decent sleep tonight !
Also made an appointment to see yon GP about my ADHD assessment in a week or so , so the journey continues !
Final Thoughts.
I am so relieved to be coming out of the other side of this gout flare up , is has been one of the most painful experiences of my life !
Hopefully future episodes will be avoided via ongoing medication.
I really hope that seeing yon GP later this month will be a positive move in my ASD journey !
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@willaful@actuallyautistic i was looking for some passive way to disclose and stumbled upon the article -- i am still early days in my diagnosis relatively and my toxic work environment is becoming less tolerable since it
I tend to keep personal information (and I consider this personal) to myself, or share it only with a very small group. Telling someone else, in my experience, lets them feel free to offer their opinions. About me. Unsolicited. I'm uncomfortable with that.
Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 216 , Friday 31/05/2024
Up just after 6am today.
A quiet day, the only thing of real note is that what ever is wrong with my left big toe is getting worse.
There are no signs of injury but it hurts to touch & is making it hard to get comfy at night.
Today I caught it as I tripped over one of the Varmints & it hurt like a bugger !
I am slowly falling apart - if anyone wants me for medical science now’s the time to get your bid on ! 😆
The weather has slowly improved today , this evening is lovely & sunny, if a little chilly !
Final Thoughts.
Even being retired, Friday is a special day. I realised it’s June tomorrow - nearly 6 months gone already !
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@Tim_McTuffty
Good day sweets,
I hope you get to a GP and have that foot checked out before it falls off 😉 better be safe than sorry!
I've had a busy day where I helped mum. And worried over my gall, she can't seem to catch a break... 😔
Hope you're having a good night!
🤗 Hugs from me and boops from my royal sweetness 🐾 💜
Do you know what I tell my children when they bump into something and it hurts?
Blow on it once and give it a kiss and then everything is fine again...
So blowing is ok... But then a little kiss on the toe... hmh...😂 😂
I’ve found that my music taste sometimes mimics that of my friends, but generally I listen to completely different stuff than most people. I love heavy metal, folk/bluegrass, anything indie, 50’s-80’s music, and a lot of traditional songs from the Renaissance, Middle Ages, and earlier. I also like Christian hymns but that’s not everyone’s cup of tea.
Would love to expand my own tastes by hearing from y’all!
@chevalier26@actuallyautistic Mostly chillwave nowadays, sometimes videogame soundtracks.
Currently I'm tempted to listen to what's already out from the soundtrack of Angeline Era.
@hauchvonstaub@actuallyautistic I like to listen to a lot of video game soundtracks too. One of my recent favorites has been the soundtrack to the game Abyssal (it’s on Roblox lol). It’s amazing and fits the theme of the game perfectly.
Slightly concerned that the next week is going to destroy me but I'm going to do my best to balance all the peopling with special interests and alone time.
@kkffoo@actuallyautistic “Another important aspect of the show is its representation of neurodiversity.
Smale wrote Geek Girl before she was diagnosed with autism and dyspraxia, but has retroactively described Harriet as having both conditions as well.” Interesting!
Reason 42,343,648 why allistic people shouldn't be allowed to create forms.
"Name of person whose certificate you're requesting"
So um, if the person is filling out a name change form, do they put the current LEGAL name of the person OR the old name that's being changed?
I assume old name, but that's ALSO a false statement on something I'm about to sign, & have notarized as being a TRUE statement, because it's NOT that person's name.
@masukomi@actuallyautistic it's the kind of cryptic bureaucracy stuff someone who usually fill these forms on a regular basis have to tell you what they want, even for allistic people
the thing is that autistic people don't have the energy to try to find this out for literally everything in life
@Yuki@actuallyautistic yes, and no. There have been so many forms that I have struggled with that my allistic wife has been able to patiently explain what I needed to enter in the field without any real difficulty.
of course, part of the problem is that my brain gets wrapped up in indignant rage at the mind-numbing idiocy and falsehoods that are been forced upon me.
“That’s not what that means! If i answer what they asked i’ll be screwed, but that can’t possibly be what is intended!!!” Etc.
I think of my shutdowns as a masked meltdown. I don't want anyone to see me unmasked. I'm also afraid of the power or ferocity of a true meltdown. Better to go hide were I can't be seen.
@darrellpf
Yeah, I think of my shutdowns as a meltdown where I still have some control - it's a much safer way to operate than going full nuclear. @actuallyautistic@simon_brooke
Any other autistic kin struggle with speech and articulation when they were little?
I'm recording an instructional voice-over today and my mom just told me I used to have a lisp when I was little. That's news to me!
I definitely notice sludgy articulation around L and S sound as an adult. Outside of voice over recording, I could not care less about my articulation. But it is interesting!
@dyani
As someone who invested a lot of time in improving their enunciation when singing, I think that's a human universal, rather than an autistic thing.
I also have a lisp, and that's probably the 'tism, but proper singing enunciation is taught in every singing or vocal class and is usually only improved with lots of practice. @benjamincox@dave@actuallyautistic
Took a bunch of autism-related online tests, some of which I've also taken in the past. While I previously didn't score "high enough", now several tests said that I have autistic characteristics and am likely somewhere in the spectrum. Huh.
When answering questions, I noticed some places where I would've answered differently earlier. Now that I've been on the self-discovery journey, it seems I've come to understand many things I wasn't aware of earlier. Very interesting.
@LehtoriTuomo@actuallyautistic täällä joku jakoi oisko ollut viime vuoden puolella sellaisen suomenkielisen testin, jossa oli otettu huomioon naistyypillisyys. Minä, joka olen keikkunut kaikkien autismitestien rajalla, olin siinä ihan selvästi spektrillä. Tää oli... jännä. 😀
@Uair@actuallyautistic Dude, that was a hard read. And even if it's all true, writing like that is so self-absorbed you're not going to connect with anyone. If you can't reach out to people where they're at, you're going to keep banging your head against a wall. Maybe for now you forget the NSA and just build a life with genuine connections using the thought-language those people need.
Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 214 , Wednesday 29/05/2024
Up a little later today as Mrs S. was working from home.
Still fighting the agoraphobia , sometimes I wish I didn’t live so very far from my family, they would come round & drag me out.
But they live nearly 100 miles away & have their own lives.
Spent the morning totally indecisive about what to do.
Made some egg sandwiches for me n Mrs S. for lunch , then , as per had to clear up & wash the dishes too.
Ended up reading for a couple of hours then hit Fo4 after lunch.
Went wild & forsook the soup option for tea, in favour of spaghetti hoops with a couple of slices of toast - I really need to break out of the house so I can get some real food !
Final Thoughts.
Stupid brain going nuts about going outside !
I need to get myself out of this current episode , it’s not as bad as some I’ve had , but it is doing my tree in!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
Wer macht in Deutschland gute Diagnostik für erwachsene Frauen mit Verdacht auf #Autismus? Habt ihr persönliche Erfahrungen und könnt mir jemanden empfehlen? Gerne per DM! (Wenn die Person kompetent ist, bin ich auch bereit selbst zu zahlen und/oder weit zu fahren.)
Bonuspunkte, wenn jemand die Unterschiede zwischen Autismus und Trauma + die Überlappungen von Autismus und ADHS herausarbeiten kann.
@actuallyautistic#actuallyautistic
Read an article recently that claimed autistic individuals are less likely to succumb to marketing and impulse buying. I think this is true about myself.
I am aware that AuDHD can often work against this, and make shopping a dreadful experience because of the push and pull of "wanting" but not "needing" something. I'd love to hear y'all's experiences/opinions.
@gnaddrig@chevalier26@actuallyautistic there are rare times ads have been useful for me -- actually prompted a purchase, even -- and each time it's been because I had no idea such a thing existed
I’m AuADHD, & generally rather frugal. Occasionally my ADHD, or maybe my Austistic gullibility, or my ADHD RSD (or just plain not so smart decision making) might’ve had me lash out on something not so wise & or a bit expensive. More often though, when I have lashed out, it’s been something really good at a good price that I’ve been really happy with. Like a half price leather jacket that I’ve had lots of wear out of.
@actuallyautistic#actuallyautistic Any good free mind-mapping software y'all would recommend? I'm trying to convert my list of traits into a format that's easier to understand.
@JoBlakely@actuallyautistic I think xmind is the one I've seen a lot of autistics use. Reason I asked to begin with was because I saw this guy use a mind map in this video...and it looks suspiciously similar to xmind.
@chevalier26@actuallyautistic if you’re willing to consider alternatives to the normal click and drag interfaces, PlantUML, a free diagrams as code tool, has a mindmap mode. Basically, you write some text describing the contents of the diagram, and the software generates it for you.
Two fully-disconnected weeks off from work have given me a clarity of mind I haven't had in a long time.
I thought I had mostly tackled my burnout over the winter, but the clarity I have now tells me that I was still burned out.
How do I know?
I feel like I have skills now that I haven't had in a long time. Cognitive and information processing skills. I feel like my brain can process things more clearly than before my time off.
I never really understood what it meant when people say that burnout causes loss of skills, but it totally makes sense now.
That clarity has also helped me see some of my challenges at work in a new light. In particular, managing people as an Autistic person.
Several people outside of my department have complained about a member of my team. They, and I, have had conversations with this person about that feedback. I've personally seen improvement and I'm not unhappy with their work. But I'm still getting complaints about them.
This is incredibly challenging for me. Am I misreading the social situation? Am I being taken advantage of? Do others see something I don't? Am I giving this person the benefit of the doubt far beyond what's reasonable? Are my expectations of others too low?
I don't know the answers to these questions, but they're definitely something I need to work on.
@dave@actuallyautistic I can relate: I also find it challenging to handle the conflicts of others people, especially when suspecting a power play, in which case new “problems” will arise but the real motivation for the conflict stays hidden from me. I can also relate to the positive effect of taking a step back from daily life 🙂
Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 213 , Tuesday 28/05/2024
Up at 6m as Mrs S. was back in work today.
Another day of fighting the agoraphobia & losing . The spectre of the world beyond the front door playing havoc with my mind.
Watching others sally forth, both in analog & digital life makes me realise how far I have to go to get better.
I would go to the GP, but the whole thing over the ADHD assessment has badly shaken my trust in them.
Also I am so very aware of the state of the NHS & I feel that I cannot deny other, more worthy souls their opportunity to get medical help.
So chores are done and now I roam the countryside around Boston in the virtual world of Fo4.
I was analysing my current play style & I am being so very logical about it - for no reason. I need to relax & play the game as I encounter it, instead of maximising companion potential or trying to do stuff in a set order.
Got a new stand for the iPad today , gotta get used to the new layout - it’s more comfortable if a little odd at the moment.
Final Thoughts.
Sometimes my autistic nature makes me miss communication cues. I fail to respond in the way folk expect , sometimes say things innocently that are misinterpreted because there are certain rules that I either don’t know or don’t understand.
I am kind by nature & like to see the best in people, I like to compliment folk, often the old adage ‘it’s nice to be nice’ comes into play.
Sometimes I do not recognise the unseen, unspoken edges of what is acceptable, people have blocked me before today for being too familiar too soon.This upsets me a great deal when it happens. Thankfully it has not happened since I got my diagnosis.
Now I know I am autistic I take steps to try & avoid the more obvious pit falls , but sometimes I forget or get a little over enthusiastic & folk bring me up short. Then I back away & something is lost.
I had hoped that my GP would help me find the help I need but they seem disinterested. For now I am on my own.
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@actuallyautistic#actuallyautistic
Ugh...it's so frustrating when people tell me, "You'll miss out on the college experience," just because I want certain accommodations while away at university.
I don't mind missing out on sporting events, not having a roommate, or preferring to study in my dorm room instead of the library. I still have a social life without those things!
For me, having the freedom to avoid the NT "college life" is what keeps me sane while I'm at university.
@Aerliss@actuallyautistic Completely agree. For the past two years I’ve roomed with one of my best friends who is also ND, so it’s been a lot easier for me. This coming year I am going to try to “buyout” the other bed in the room so I can guarantee I’ll get the room to myself.
@Aerliss@actuallyautistic Easier as in, we understand each other and have established solid boundaries. Plus, we often discuss topics that this Mastodon group discusses lol. So we are sounding boards for each other.
I'm sitting in the dark, with the window blinds closed, because I feel like I just need it that way right now for no discernable reason. This is probably what my therapist means by nervous system regulation and emotional regulation. 🤔
I really like sensory deprivation—sometimes even more than others.
@JeremyMallin@actuallyautistic The other day, I got overstimulated and literally took a shower in the dark because I couldn't tolerate having the lights on in that moment. It was wonderful.
