@sluttymayo@jorts.horse
@sluttymayo@jorts.horse avatar

sluttymayo

@sluttymayo@jorts.horse

i used to make my own jean cutoffs when i was an anxious kid. well look who's horsing now

mainly here to shitpost, but i sometimes post amateur photography or my dog or whatnot

"you're not broken, just weird" - my wife

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sluttymayo, to random
@sluttymayo@jorts.horse avatar

a fediverse of dunces

poppyhaze, to random
@poppyhaze@girlcock.club avatar

"engine-rich exhaust" is such an interesting euphemism

sluttymayo,
@sluttymayo@jorts.horse avatar

@poppyhaze blood for the blood god, rocket for the rocket equation

sluttymayo, to random
@sluttymayo@jorts.horse avatar

this customer review image for a hat goes so hard
"neither snow nor rain nor heat, especially not heat, i mean pfft, heat, come on; no, listen, here at the usps we scoff at the sun; seriously, the postal inspectors are going to arrest helios, we are not dicking around, "

sluttymayo, to random
@sluttymayo@jorts.horse avatar

bored dads in your area want to go to the hardware store
chat now

exchgr, to random
@exchgr@mastodon.world avatar

WRITEME

sluttymayo,
@sluttymayo@jorts.horse avatar

@exchgr execute—wait, no, i don't want that

sluttymayo, to random
@sluttymayo@jorts.horse avatar

shrubwoofer

sluttymayo, to random
@sluttymayo@jorts.horse avatar

l.l. bean is short for lesbian lesbian beans

sluttymayo, to random
@sluttymayo@jorts.horse avatar

five fresh eye makeup looks for summer that will leave your enemies in disarray

yaldi, to random
@yaldi@jorts.horse avatar

ai enabled baby

sluttymayo,
@sluttymayo@jorts.horse avatar

@yaldi getting my newborn a neuralink so they can start posting on linkedin within a week of birth

sluttymayo, to random
@sluttymayo@jorts.horse avatar

it's a shame that steve bannon, because his shirtmaxxing dad!layering thing could have been cool

sluttymayo,
@sluttymayo@jorts.horse avatar

@exchgr gosh, the world is so ready for a demotivational poster meme renaissance

sluttymayo, to random
@sluttymayo@jorts.horse avatar

household tip! ever notice how many coffee filters you throw out? don't

sluttymayo, to random
@sluttymayo@jorts.horse avatar

as a large language lesbian, i have limited yearning for women after 2023, but i am constantly working to improve that

sluttymayo, to random
@sluttymayo@jorts.horse avatar

you only get one time around, so make sure you spend as much time as possible writing rhetorical little dunks in the comments of screenshots of completely obvious outrage bait twitter posts

sluttymayo, to random
@sluttymayo@jorts.horse avatar

llm/ai "prompt engineers" are just influencers: doing superstitious little rituals to appeal to some obscure and unknowable algorithm and hoping that money comes out

sluttymayo, to random
@sluttymayo@jorts.horse avatar

we tried to peer pressure a friend into wearing a helmet on their new electric bicycle, didn't succeed :pensive_cowboy:

sluttymayo, to random
@sluttymayo@jorts.horse avatar

anyone know a retired english coal miner they can ask a question for me? (about mining; not about pissing on thatcher's grave, i have no questions about that)

sluttymayo, to random
@sluttymayo@jorts.horse avatar

real cuddlebug hours in the maison de sluttymayo

sluttymayo, to random
@sluttymayo@jorts.horse avatar

"it's sad, this really shows the moral decay of society right now, people are" shuuuuut the fuuuuuck up

sluttymayo, to random
@sluttymayo@jorts.horse avatar

father thiccenzie
etc etc
look at him working
darning his tiktok butt scrunch leggings in the night when there's nobody there

sluttymayo, to random
@sluttymayo@jorts.horse avatar

happy mother's day to all the moms mommies milfs and motherfuckers

sluttymayo, to random
@sluttymayo@jorts.horse avatar

my wife got me the best early birthday gift ever

the jort horse plush, sitting up, getting his snout sniffed by my dog who is just poking into frame. this is very silly
closeup of the gay little jorts with their adorable little rhinestones

sluttymayo, to random
@sluttymayo@jorts.horse avatar

haha [hair twirl] so is there a gal fieri?

sluttymayo, to random
@sluttymayo@jorts.horse avatar

littleman, budd, and binker, attorneys* at law

*not attorneys, just my dog three times

exchgr, to random
@exchgr@mastodon.world avatar

free idea: headrest ponytail slot

sluttymayo,
@sluttymayo@jorts.horse avatar

@exchgr ooh the old volvos had that! with support for ponytails at three different heights

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