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MachineLordZero, to random
@MachineLordZero@mastodon.social avatar

every day that I can't change bodies like I change outfits is bullshit it's fucking bullshit
doesn't even have to be human-shaped bodies
I could absolutely dig a Jameson box, or zipping around in a little grappler drone

MachineLordZero,
@MachineLordZero@mastodon.social avatar

or fuck I'd even spend some time in a stationary body
maybe a printer that tells you exactly what the problem is and why

"Yeah it's black and white that you're trying to print, but the turbo geniuses who designed this ink dispenser made it so that if it runs dry of any colour, it'll take damage. I can go ahead and do it, buuut you won't be printing cyan in future. Up to you."

Although this suggests that the body wouldn't be my own, 'cause no way would I pick such a lame design.

MachineLordZero,
@MachineLordZero@mastodon.social avatar

banned from hanging out in ATMs after displaying "FEED ME A STRAY CAT" on screen

MachineLordZero, to random
@MachineLordZero@mastodon.social avatar

I hate keyboards and keyboard manufacturers so much

MachineLordZero,
@MachineLordZero@mastodon.social avatar

and their sellers

MachineLordZero,
@MachineLordZero@mastodon.social avatar

Why is it so hard to find backlit keys that're intended to be functional, rather than an eyesore?

MachineLordZero, to random
@MachineLordZero@mastodon.social avatar

Eurovision likes to make sure we know they're non-political.
In fact, their international competition broadcast around the world is SO non-political, they even let Russia compete, despite Russia's ongoing war and human rights atrocities.

checks earpiece Sorry, I'm just getting this in now, there's a rumour that Russia is, in fact, not competing in Eurovision. Reasons unknown at this time.

eniko,
@eniko@peoplemaking.games avatar

@MachineLordZero we would tell you what the reasons are but that would be politics

MachineLordZero, to random
@MachineLordZero@mastodon.social avatar

Australia: housing crisis[1]

A group of people: Hey we've talked about it and done research and consulted with qualified people, and we wanna build a load of co-housing in this area, in a way that'll fit in with the landscape and maintain the heritage-listed buildings here.

Their local council for some reason: no

[1] 'Cause we've let too many[2] people buy a ton of housing and keep it empty to drive up the prices.

[2] ie, any

MachineLordZero,
@MachineLordZero@mastodon.social avatar

and then it turns out that it's gonna cost around a million bucks per home what the fuck

MachineLordZero,
@MachineLordZero@mastodon.social avatar

Look I'll even offer a compromise: 10% cumulative tax increase per month on empty housing until it's got someone living in it properly, with decent tenant rights and maintenance.

This is coming down from my starting position of we take the housing and beat you to death for being a parasitoid on society.

MachineLordZero, to random
@MachineLordZero@mastodon.social avatar

Tried to block ads on soundcloud again. Failed.

Why are there so many fucking predatory businesses?
"Have you gotten into debt with a load of other predators? Transfer it all to us at Total Bastard Co, for peace of mind*"

"*ʷᵉ'ˡˡ ᵗᵃᵏᵉ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵒʳᵍᵃⁿˢ"

MachineLordZero, to random
@MachineLordZero@mastodon.social avatar

It would be circumvented within minutes by anyone having the faintest idea as to what they're doing.

Shit, what if cats learnt to conduct mouse orchestras? That's more interesting to think about.

eniko,
@eniko@peoplemaking.games avatar

@MachineLordZero knowing australia their "ban" of socials would be some dns ban and everyone would just be like "okay lmao 1.1.1.1"

MachineLordZero, to random
@MachineLordZero@mastodon.social avatar

Hey what's something good that's happened to you recently? I could use some good news.

cynblogger,
@cynblogger@sfba.social avatar
MachineLordZero, to random
@MachineLordZero@mastodon.social avatar

Man, think of the size of the early birds on Arrakis

iraantlers,
@iraantlers@mastodon.online avatar

@MachineLordZero fremen crows freebasing spice be like “squaaaaaawk!”

MachineLordZero, to random
@MachineLordZero@mastodon.social avatar
MachineLordZero, to random
@MachineLordZero@mastodon.social avatar

oh hey I've finally found a 3.5mm to dual 3.5mm headphone cable, lemme just check the price
"189 dollars"
no

MachineLordZero, to random
@MachineLordZero@mastodon.social avatar

I wonder if I could make an ultrasonically vibrating cleaver to help encourage better car sizes

iraantlers,
@iraantlers@mastodon.online avatar

@MachineLordZero then we befriend an ultrasonically vibrating beaver to help encourage… hot dam!

MachineLordZero, to DnD
@MachineLordZero@mastodon.social avatar

Would a contract including unionisation and benefits make a summoned being more favourably disposed to the summoner, do you think?

#DnD #TTRPG #tabletop

MachineLordZero, to random
@MachineLordZero@mastodon.social avatar

hyper elastic whoopee cushion that you fit over the exhaust pipe of someone's car so that when they turn the engine off, the inflated cushion blows the engine backwards and the car drives them back where they came from
such a prank

MachineLordZero, to random
@MachineLordZero@mastodon.social avatar

Sure, I vibeth not with this scene but... is there a scene with which I vibeth?

MachineLordZero, to random
@MachineLordZero@mastodon.social avatar

Imagining a christian dying, and they get to the afterlife, and instead of being welcomed through the pearly gates, there's just a short-ish by modern standards swarthy man with dark hair and olive skin who asks them "Who the fuck is Jesus?"

MachineLordZero,
@MachineLordZero@mastodon.social avatar

also suddenly realising that if "Christ" means "the anointed one" more or less, as in drizzled with oil, then "christians" is roughly analogous to "greasers"

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