Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 205 , Monday 20/05/2024
Was up till the early hours of this morning with stomach cramps after last nights daring attempt to eat scrambled eggs & beans for tea.
Spent the day getting lots of exercise up & down the stairs to take a pew, if you get my drift.
Attempted to interact on here a couple of times but my brain is apparently on sick leave so it didn’t go exactly to plan 🙄🤦♂️
Hopefully tomorrow will be better !
Final Thoughts.
Is the babel fish truly a fish if it spends most of its life out of water ?
This & other great questions of our age will have to wait until I can think straight!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
thought i was getting $100 as a birthday 🎁 but that’s understandably just not in the cards. I need help covering my phone bill, I believe I have 10 days after it’s due before it gets cut off. All help is good help☺️
“AuDHD represents a blend of ADHD and autistic traits, leading to unique experiences and challenges. When the underlying needs of ADHD and autism interact, it can feel like a tug of war for the AuDHDer - Do I need routine or spontaneity? Newness or familiarity? Busyness or a steady pace? Though these examples are quite simplistic, they illustrate the internal confusion of the AuDHDer attempting to address their needs.”
Hello #Bridgerton fans, do you think Francesca is on the spectrum? Piano forte clearly is her special interest. She is ill at ease at social gatherings and doesn’t do so well with small talk. And she is at ease with the silent type, just being together. #ActuallyAutistic
URGENT! please help Tasia with basic necessities like food and healthcare! she is disabled and has struggled with housing. she needs your support. anything helps!
You know what? FUCK neurotypical "empathy" that only works if they'd feel the same way, and is all "don't be upset, it's nothing" and "pull yourself together" otherwise.
Listening to the 1800 Seconds On Autism podcast from the #BBC, which is far less dry than a number of other podcasts on the subject I've tried. Can recommend for any #ActuallyAutistic people looking for an informal chat about their ND-ness.
Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 203 , Saturday 18/05/2024
Ruff as a bears bum today, no energy, no appetite, everything I do hurts.
It’s probably only man-flu again, I seem to catch every bug going at the moment & regular Squirrel Spotters will be aware that I’m a bit of a wuss when it comes to common or garden illness. 🙄🤦♂️
I keep plodding along, hoping that I catch a break at some point.
I am better this afternoon, this morning I felt like death warmed up, lunch was 5/6 of 2 rounds of toast - don’t ask - & tea will be venturing into the dubious gastronomic delights of a can of tommy soup.
I am a little brighter & well enough to write my diary, so that is an improvement.
Final Thoughts.
Please can someone hail a Delorean to transport me back to my 40s ?
I have to say that I am in total awe of those folk I know who live with chronic pain, chronic depression is a walk in the park in comparison, you peeps are the bravest folk I know!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
I can tell when I need to lower the volume of something I'm listening to when I feel a kind of tightening in my ear muscles, and/or ringing in my ears, or a slight feeling of stress coming in from my environment.
I also just try to remember to always proactively lower the volume a couple ticks from what i first set it at, to prevent all those sensations.
What are the signs for you that things are a little too loud?
URGENT! please help Tasia with basic necessities like food and healthcare! she is disabled and has struggled with housing. she hasnt gotten any donations for a while and is losing hope. she needs your support. anything helps!
Went to a bar with a visiting scholar. The first three hours or so were fun. We had good food and nice whisky. Colleague was chatty and I enjoyed listening.
Then loud drunk people came in. I noticed I had hard time following my colleague's talk. The drunk people started to get on my nerves. I was also very conscious of my pinkish nails. Now that I've paid more attention to my bodily reactions, I noticed how anxious the change of the atmosphere made me.
Fortunately I had already checked my bus schedule and the colleague had said that I can just let him know whenever I have to leave. I said that it's getting loud, then explained I'm autistic and have auditory processing problems and that there would be a bus in 15 minutes. He said that we can leave right away. 💜 Once outside, it felt better again.
The older I get, the less I enjoy noisy bars. Or should I say the less I tolerate them. Never really liked them.
One time I tried to explain something to a family member that doing a specific thing was hard for me, and they said " Yes but Bob's nephews can do it so you should be able to do it too" . 🙄
PSA: If you've met one autistic person you've met one autistic person.
Yesterday I was wearing sunglasses when I went to the city centre as it was sunny. Oh my, what a difference it made to the sensory overdrive. As I mentioned earlier, I like to watch around but had finally noticed that I keep grounding myself by looking at ground due to all the visual input. Sunglasses took the edge off and it was way easier to look at things.
it sucks having an unpopular opinion on the internet because i just assume everyone would hate me if they know
unpopular as in, if there's some kind of controversial topic with two sides, my opinion would draw ire from each of those sides
this is a common thing for me to experience because i'm autistic and i think about things differently than most other people, including other autists (we're obviously not a monolith!)
i think this is a very social-media problem, even on fedi where controversial content isn't pushed by an algorithm, because i think clout-chasing and virtue-signaling still influence overall community attitudes. unfortunately, due to various factors, social-media is one of the few options available for me to socialize at all right now
it gets very, very lonely to see people i might otherwise want to get to know clearly indicating that i need to mask up and pretend to agree, otherwise they'll bite my head off
at first it feels like it's not worth sharing those opinions and risking the drama-- and then it feels like it's not worth getting to know people in the first place
I read about a new detailed map of the human brain. As expected, the "normal brains" were contrasted with "disordered" ones and how eventually they might learn "what's wrong" with them.
URGENT! please help Tasia with basic necessities like food and healthcare! she is disabled and has struggled with housing. she hasnt gotten any donations for a while and is losing hope. she needs your support. anything helps!
I've been feeling a little tired and overstimulated over the last few days and I've been trying to find a way to decompress. It's quietly hilarious to me that simply sitting on the couch with a blanket over my head seems to be quite effective.
Being overstimulated makes me appreciate the things I have to mitigate it. I'm happy with my earplugs, stimming stuff, and even my sunglasses.
There was a time when I didn't have that kind of stuff, or didn't feel like I was allowed to use it. Now it's a great feeling to put on my sensory gear and take on the world. 😁