@TwoClownsEating@beige.party
@TwoClownsEating@beige.party avatar

TwoClownsEating

@TwoClownsEating@beige.party

Don't trust everything a little bird (X) tells you

Pronouns: He/Him/That Idiot

LGBTQ+, Black Lives Matter, Disability and Neurodivergent ally

Like: Laughs, Music, Literature, Art, Cinema, Nature and Beauty in all forms

Dislike: Intolerance, Discrimination and general Fuckwittery. Be nice or begone

Please add #AltText i.e.descriptive descriptions, to your pictures for visually impaired and all people. No description, no boost from me

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

TwoClownsEating, to random
@TwoClownsEating@beige.party avatar

I never talk about Elon Musk, there's so much to say about him being a terrible person, but I will say this.

He's a balding man (he's not alone here), with near infinite money (yeah much more rare). He gets expensive hair replacement treatment then chooses to have shit $10 hairstyles.

Your hair knew you didn't deserve it Elon. Much like your ex wives, that's why they all left you.

TwoClownsEating, to random
@TwoClownsEating@beige.party avatar

Many years ago my friend's, then, girlfriend came home with a bag of Kinder Surprise chocolate eggs (they have a capsule inside containing a toy) and handed them out to us all.

Little did he know she had carefully opened his and removed the toy. When he got to the middle and opened his capsule there was a slip of paper, on it she wrote "for you, there is nothing".

No explanation, no "ha ha, fooled you", just left out there. I think about that often.

TwoClownsEating,
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@mxtthxw

Messing with someones anticipation. Egg tease.

TwoClownsEating, to random
@TwoClownsEating@beige.party avatar

I'm sure you've all seen this but it's Friday (I'm in love) so treat yourself to Robert Smith being hilariously British

https://youtu.be/S9LXN_ufL8M?si=lokXsZzlQBqkq6e4

tayfonay, to random
@tayfonay@beige.party avatar

Hey, good for you North Korea, sending those poop filled balloons over the border. This is the kind of petty shit I’m here for

TwoClownsEating,
@TwoClownsEating@beige.party avatar

@tayfonay

The North Korean remake of Up really wasn't what I was expecting 🎈

TwoClownsEating, to random
@TwoClownsEating@beige.party avatar

Can't do right for doing wrong sometimes.

Generally the Fedi has been open and amazing but sometimes it's just like self righteous twitter. I'll stick with my shitposters, music folks and general nerds from now on. Politics and social projects folks are just too blinkered and intense to engage with.

TwoClownsEating, to random
@TwoClownsEating@beige.party avatar

Looking at my posts and my output here is quite a mixed bag eh.

Cheers for sticking with me through the, this isn't what I thought I was signing up for stuff, whatever that may have been.

TwoClownsEating, to random
@TwoClownsEating@beige.party avatar

My brain, always chewing stupid phrases/jokes over (alongside my constant earworms)

Today it's

Polyfiller amorous
Gets into any crack or hole

TheBreadmonkey, to random
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party avatar

Go on, the French! Proper news.

French town reels from scandal involving mayor and fortune teller
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/crgg9reyvx7o.amp

TwoClownsEating,
@TwoClownsEating@beige.party avatar

@TheBreadmonkey

Magnifique!

Only thing missing from the story is a picture of the fortune teller, most disappointing.

Love the bit about her being moved into solitary confinement as other prison inmates accused her of witchcraft.

TwoClownsEating,
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@TheBreadmonkey

Of course!

TwoClownsEating,
@TwoClownsEating@beige.party avatar

@purplepadma @TheBreadmonkey

🔮is the best you're gonna get

My personal pet peeve, as a record collecting type is there's no vinyl emoji. Yet there's 📷📸📽️💾☎️📼🎥🎞️

TheBreadmonkey, to random
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party avatar

New trailers out for Beetlejuice and Beverley Hills Cop. Happy 1988 everybody!

TwoClownsEating,
@TwoClownsEating@beige.party avatar

@TheBreadmonkey

I rewatched Beverley Hills Cop recently with my teenagers (who'd never seen it). I was like, this was so big back then, oh and Axel F was really popular.

The verdict was, "what was that shit mate?".

Can't say I disagree, not aged well at all. Clearly just an Eddie Murphy vehicle (ha, ha, ha ha). The action scenes look like an episode of the A-Team and I have to think they blew the entire music budget on Axel F as it plays almost constantly throughout the film.

adhdeanasl, to random
@adhdeanasl@beige.party avatar

beige.party: we put the LAUGH in sLAUGHter.

Also, we’re not a cult.

TwoClownsEating,
@TwoClownsEating@beige.party avatar

@glasspusher @adhdeanasl

Definitely not a cult. I can confirm this as I signed a parchment with words to this effect in not only my own blood, but also that of my first born child.

mxtthxw, to music
@mxtthxw@mxtthxw.art avatar

Well well well, what's goin' on 'ere then eh?!

(Light version as my server is probably slow)

video/mp4

TwoClownsEating,
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@mxtthxw

I need the full version of this!

TwoClownsEating, to random
@TwoClownsEating@beige.party avatar

Boom 💥

No work for 4 days!

Going to an all day bass music festival tomorrow in Brixton (UK), Project 6.

Weather looks perfect for a day raving outdoors. Partly sunny, warm but not sweltering, and most importantly in the UK, not fucking raining for a change.

Going to see my favourite Drum and Bass producer/DJ again (Sully) and a whole host of Hip Hop, Grime, D&B and generally rib rattling acts.

Good times with my eldest, let's see if they can keep up with me this time.

TwoClownsEating,
@TwoClownsEating@beige.party avatar

@iraantlers

His DJ sets are all great but his own tracks, I'd recommend 5ives and Werk as a starter

purplepadma, to random
@purplepadma@beige.party avatar

Oops, I fell asleep on the bed for two and a half hours. Came down to find Tom and the cat also asleep. Has somebody cast a spell on the house?

TwoClownsEating,
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@purplepadma

That social worker didn't have a pointy hat did she?

TwoClownsEating, to random
@TwoClownsEating@beige.party avatar

I like Half Man Half Biscuit. I also like sandwiches.

This is my demographic.

(I like other things too, but these pretty much cover it)

TwoClownsEating, to random
@TwoClownsEating@beige.party avatar

Got this error message at work today. Rude and libelous.

Before anyone says anything it's not my hard drive judging me!

TwoClownsEating,
@TwoClownsEating@beige.party avatar

@DemocracySpot

Oh no, it's MUCH worse. Definitely do not use it, it's British slang for paedophile 😮

TwoClownsEating,
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@purplepadma

Not sure if Invalid makes it worse. Kind of feels like it.

TwoClownsEating,
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@DemocracySpot

Yeah, not one to use if you're trying to befriend a Brit

TwoClownsEating, to random
@TwoClownsEating@beige.party avatar

Favourite books by authors I've read all or many books by, off the top of my head

The Trial - Franz Kafka
Pale Fire - Vladimir Nabokov
As I Lay Dying - William Faulkner
The Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
Wolf Hall trilogy - Hilary Mantel
Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Slaughterhouse 5 - Kurt Vonnegut
The Wind up Bird Chronicle - Haruki Murakami
This is Memorial Device - David Keenan
The Gallows Pole - Benjamin Myers
Lanny - Max Porter

What are yours?

TwoClownsEating,
@TwoClownsEating@beige.party avatar

@DJDarren

Yep, loved both of those. Beastings is amazing and grim in equal measures. I read it on a sunny, wild and completely empty beach in Suffolk. It was not holiday reading 😂

One of his books (probably the only one) that is holiday reading is The Offing. In fact, reading it is like taking a holiday in rural England in the 1950s. It's a gentle, sunny book, quite unlike his others.

Skepticat, to random
@Skepticat@mstdn.social avatar

deleted_by_author

    •
    TwoClownsEating,
    @TwoClownsEating@beige.party avatar

    @Skepticat

    🤢

    Radicalised. Be grateful you weren't raised this way, those poor children!

    You can choose your friends...

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