@BillySmith@Itty53@HarkMahlberg@RickiTarr
Reminds me of a great one Ive been told a few times now
"Never stick your finger where you wouldnt stick your... er... ahem"
Tradesdudes not sure how to translate for a trady lady lol 😅
Just because someone asks you a question doesn't mean you're obligated to answer.
Sometimes there are consequences to not answering, but discovering that I generally didn't have to engage with people I didn't want to engage with was so freeing.
@RickiTarr
My best friend once told me that when you're trying to figure out whether or not to say something, you should ask if it's any TWO of True, Helpful, and Kind.
@stevegis_ssg@RickiTarr Variously attributed to Socrates and some unknown Buddhist traditions, "Before you speak ask yourself: Is it true, is it kind, is it necessary, is it helpful, does it improve upon the silence?"
@RickiTarr When making a decision, the choice isn’t between “A” and “B”, it’s between “A” and “Anything Other Than A”, and then, if that didn’t resolve it, between “B” and “Anything Other Than B”, and so on.
Of a few that could be “best”, at some point I’ve applied this in every area of my life, and it was a game changer.
@RickiTarr
When I was learning to drive, my new stepfather let me use his car to practice. We didn’t know each other well yet and were still a bit stiff and polite
At one point a car was tailgating closely and honking. Stressed, I asked if I should speed up or pull over. He said there was one key lesson I had to remember as a driver and in life in general. I was expecting some pious platitude. Instead, he grinned conspiratorially and said…
@RickiTarr What I consider my best piece of advice is:
"Helping without permission is not helping."
Most of the time other people can recognize and state their needs and desires clearly without resorting to guesswork, or even worse, selfishly ignoring them.
While we're painting with general brush stokes, which I don't entirely disagree with, I also note that my father, a successful business person, generously shared success with employees and the community, to the point of eventually giving employees the company. The most honourable man I've known.
@RickiTarr There are all kinds of intelligence and wisdom in the world. Don't ever fall for society's pressure to look down on anybody; even someone who has an intellectual disability could hold a secret to the universe that you'll never understand.
Every life has value. Even if you don't or can't see it.
@RickiTarr I grew up in the comunistic Czechoslovakia. No one told me to be quiet and leave my opinions to myself. I still remember it and I live by it. Even times has changed, people has not...
If you are afraid of someone, but you still have to look at them for some reason, look at them between their eyes. Fixate at the space on their forehead, right between their eyes, or slightly above.
It will drive them insane, because they can't make eye contact with you and scare you in that way, and they also can't accuse you of not looking at them.
(This is advice I got from a boss, to say to witnesses in courtroom situations. Only use this in a safe environment, of course).
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