I can't figure out if this is a good blogpost topic or not, but I've been thinking about how many conversations I see about human behavior in software overindex on like, differences between people* and not within-individual variation**
Overall malleability of our own traits and states over time is fascinating and underexplored in a very essentialist kind of culture***
"all managers are like x"
** "some days I am like x and some days I am like y"
@grimalkina No, this would be helpful. <oversharing>I'm late-diagnosed autistic, and when I finally figured it out, I thought that if I was just honest about what I was struggling with, my management would find ways to support me. Instead, it just set me on a different struggle track with managers who just want teams of "Type A" team players, and don't recognize that sorta difference as a potential strength.</oversharing>
@grimalkina Related wavelength: I was reading K-Punk (aka Mark Fisher) last night and he mentioned imposter syndrome without naming it as such, but quite clearly naming underlying causes. Downright revelatory: https://chaosfem.tw/@johana/112557323320388529
@grimalkina Anyhow, I appreciated his concept of disavowed fascism/homophobia. In other areas I’ve encountered this as negative epistemology, the process through which people in privileged positions construct ignorance of the other, and when I encounter it next I’ll be able to tell myself, "ah, this is disavowed ableism." Naming the problem doesn’t fix it, but it does greatly increase my capacity for self-control when I bump into it.
@JoscelynTransient like my most significant relationship both of us went in "cis" and came out of the whole experience trans af. (We were also hella gay for a "straight" couple.)
Very relatable point about sexism in this vid about social transition. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJuoZHCcj0w&t=332s For example, I'm a mediocre programmer, and before transition others assumed I was a good programmer, and after transition, others now assume I am a not-that-good programmer.
Relatedly, my skills developed very unevenly ("T-shaped") due to undiagnosed autism. I think when I expressed that I didn't understand a peripheral topic when working on code as a man, folks read it as an indicator of aloof genius, but now that I present as a transfem enby, folks take any ignorance as a sign of incompetence.
Folks, an open call: I am #hiring TWO Principal Research #Scientists to join the Developer Success Lab!
One is a scientist with statistics/psychometrics focus (R is our ecosystem here), and one is an intervention science focus; both are fully remote roles working directly with me, our current Principal Scientist, and our brand-new Principal Dev Experience Engineer on our public-facing empirical research mission 🙌
@grimalkina I wish I had the PhD background for the intervention focused one. Do you think y’all will get around to advertising lower req’d roles once the Principal seats are filled?
@JessTheUnstill@RickiTarr@waitworry I’d go one further, empathy cannot only be taught, its core component is a set of skills psychologists call "cultural competence." You can practice empathy by reviewing sets of critical questions (like, "are you able to purchase bandages that match your skin color?") to consciously understand difference and increase awareness of othering. My key text on this is Heesoon Jun's "Social Justice, Multicultural Counseling, and Practice."
@RickiTarr@JessTheUnstill@waitworry Yes, absolutely. Two things… one, it is like talking or walking, most people can do it with a few years of observing others and interacting with your environment, but to do it well (singing or jogging) takes real training. Two, sympathy is the sense, empathy is the skill. Sympathy is mirror neurons firing and knowing your dad is sad even when he doesn’t say so, empathy is managing emotional regulation, knowing how to say the impactful thing, and staying in a place of comfort (rather than falling into emotional distress) when going through critical conversations.
The difference between bad drivers in Boston and California is that while Californian drivers seem to drive badly because they don't know any better, Bostonians know they are driving like assholes and are doing it on purpose.
@rooster I’m a body language expert — body language is not at all consistent, and what one gesture means will vary from person to person and time to time. 😅
