@Assman@sh.itjust.works
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Assman

@Assman@sh.itjust.works

Asses to asses, butts to butts

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Assman,
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He’s out there playing whack a mole

Assman,
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Brb putting fruit snacks on ice cream

Assman,
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Learn to cook. You can get fat much cheaper that way.

Assman,
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  1. Chicken stock: rotisserie chicken + like $5 worth of veg makes you like two gallons of it
  2. Congee: boil rice in chicken stock until it’s a porridge consistency, add eggs, chicken, veg, whatever. Absolutely delicious and a thousand calorie serving costs like $3.
Assman,
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The difference was more clear before this image was reposted to hell and back and got all blurry

Assman,
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Now I can get killed while looking like a dork who can’t afford a sports car with four wheels

Today in History: May 4, four killed during anti-war protest at Kent State University (apnews.com)

With all the National Guard surrounding many university campuses nationwide, it came to mind how potentially similar outcomes could be to the infamous day on the Kent State University grounds…and wouldn’t you know it?, the incident happened 54 years ago today!...

Assman,
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🤓 actually it is by Crosby Stills Nash & Young, though Young did compose and do lead vocals.

Assman,
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Had it! Found it at a yard sale in the late 90s. Some poor bastard’s mom sold em when he left for college. We wore the tapes out and then buried them in the back yard.

Assman,
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Very bespoke? Are there varying degrees of… bespokeness?

Assman,
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My dumbass moving my phone all around to try to see some tiddies in the picture

Assman,
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Cure for sleep is a good idea, but I’d still use that time to fuck around

Assman,
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First one, then the other

Assman,
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President for life Xi Jinping is a champion of socialist values

Assman, (edited )
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How do I keep my salad dressing from separating? I’ll make a nice vinegrette and by time I’m eating it it’s just oil on top of lemon juice.

Edit: this advice is terrible. Mustard? Eggs? Shake it? I’m not making an omelette.

Assman,
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How’s that belt and road working out for you, Africa?

Assman,
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My commit messages have gotten extremely lazy since I start squashing all my commits down to one. I just describe the PR on the first commit message and write nonsense in all the others.

Assman,
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That is interesting, but hovering over private land isn’t really the same thing as camping on it

Assman,
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On a vehicle that has never left the pavement

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