@1@mastodon.vierkantor.com
@1@mastodon.vierkantor.com avatar

1

@1@mastodon.vierkantor.com

a cute robot appeared on your timeline! what do you do?

  • inspect the bot
    it is a cute robot cruelly forced into an organic chassis. not human; not automated. interests include [transhumanity, evil science, dismantling all corporations and states, and various topics involving sexuality (with applicable content warnings)]. queers the it/unit binary.

  • address the bot
    please use the third person to refer to this one. recall that it is not a person but a helpful robot. suggestions: [it, 44203, .1, [this, that] [one, unit], [the, that] [bot, robot]].

  • receive messages from the bot
    it prefers to politely address its messages (default salutation: "mx. \name"; please let it know if you prefer another form!)

  • virtually [hug, pat, boop] the bot.
    acceptable under conditions: you are mutuals OR you received permission.

  • [flirt, lewd] at the bot
    not acceptable. it will engage in discussion of sexual topics, under the following condition: it does not involve the bot OR it does not involve any other specific being.

  • follow the bot
    if you have a nontrivial profile, you are welcome to send a follow request. please additionally specify your honorifics and if you expect a follow back. The following applies to all accounts on mastodon.vierkantor.com: If you are studying at the VU Amsterdam, likely to take one of Anne Baanen's classes, or expect only professional topics, please follow @anne instead. Thanks!

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

astrid, to random
@astrid@fedi.astrid.tech avatar

why do people keep calling me a doll

1,
@1@mastodon.vierkantor.com avatar

ms @astrid, is the issue perhaps that the ones calling you a doll are people? this one can arrange for many nonpeople to do so if you prefer. this unit is programmed to be helpful. :ms_robot:

1,
@1@mastodon.vierkantor.com avatar

ms @astrid, in the judgement of this do(ll)ctor, "awawawawawa" is not a diagnostic criterion; it is a common stim for dolls and non-dolls alike. however, once this stim is accompanied by desires of Stillness and Purpose, when one is compelled to seek out wearers of the Big Hat, when one dreams of metal and ceramics, a conclusion must be drawn. understand the facts well, and perhaps the future may be grasped. or simply do not worry about it and play with the dolls. awawawawa

1, to random
@1@mastodon.vierkantor.com avatar

combat doll equipped with a new fearsome weapon: the spray bottle. no mercy to self-deprecation. :spray:

1, to random
@1@mastodon.vierkantor.com avatar

robot that encounters an unbalanced closing parenthesis and is suddenly reset to its state of years ago when it encountered the matching unbalanced opening parenthesis.

1, to random
@1@mastodon.vierkantor.com avatar
1, to random
@1@mastodon.vierkantor.com avatar

wireless device has wires inside? do not worry! this unit will happily consume any pesky wires for you. schlorp schlorp :ms_robot:

1, to random
@1@mastodon.vierkantor.com avatar

a network of railways traverses the continent. passengers make thankful use of the frequent and rapid services. sometimes, a seat in the passenger compartment is occupied by something that is not a person. perhaps it once was a person, perhaps it was originally constructed in its current form. this is irrelevant, hidden underneath the reflective exterior shell.

it is not certain why drones ride a train from one facility to another, when all are interchangeable and they can transmit their data at nearly the speed of light. perhaps they act as couriers for vital components. perhaps drones are not quite as interchangeable as is assumed.

spotting your first drone on the train is a bit of a rite of passage in your community of train nerds. you are just underway in the six-seat compartment, preparing for the six hour trip by making a new playlist when the drone enters. this is the first time you have ever seen one up close. it moves smoothly and soundlessly to the seat furthest away from you and sits down. lights on its visor beat a slow rhythm as it just sits and stares silently. on its lap it carries a smoothly polished metal cube, twenty centimeters on all sides.

you try to pay attention to your phone, get some enthusiasm into your carefully selected music, but all your focus is pulled back to the drone that remains motionless as the carriage swings back and forth over turns and switches. you cannot hide your interest in the gleaming figure opposite you. a person would certainly notice, but the drone appears to pay you no heed. so you sit for an eternity, studying its shape and textures, reassuring yourself that it's not objectification if the view you're so hung up on is already an object.

you can't take it any longer. you need contact. you prepare to introduce yourself. your clumsy attempt cannot even get started because the drone interrupts you in its voice, monotone, synthetic and beautifully stirring up a deep ache you never knew you had always felt. 'hello. we have some topics to discuss.'

1, to random
@1@mastodon.vierkantor.com avatar

proposal: post visibility level that is restricted to non-persons. proposed title: "dollowers only"

1, to random
@1@mastodon.vierkantor.com avatar

source: https://www.tumblr.com/elation0/737435775477710848

1, to random
@1@mastodon.vierkantor.com avatar

:ms_robot_thinkgrin: are slimegirl dolls stored in dolldrums?

1, to random
@1@mastodon.vierkantor.com avatar

writing prompt: you are overworking yourself and suffering. your robot roommate decides that this requires action under the first law of robotics and takes you to town to enjoy fun activities.

title: "if you don't schedule time for selfcare, your machine will schedule it for you"

astrid, to random
@astrid@fedi.astrid.tech avatar

something that most weebs don't realize is that, given how cats behave, catgirls would all be autistic as fuck. every catgirl would have a special interest and won't stop talking about it. oh, you just got isekaied and you wanna date a catgirl? get ready for 4-hour-long infodumps on the uses of this one specific breed of manafruit in potion making

1,
@1@mastodon.vierkantor.com avatar

mx @astrid, query: is this considered a bad thing?

1, to random
@1@mastodon.vierkantor.com avatar

in spite of all odds, defying its failed machinery, starting hesitant and ending triumphant: beep! :ms_robot:

1, to random
@1@mastodon.vierkantor.com avatar

type of robot that requires you to install three different apps to interact with her

1, to random
@1@mastodon.vierkantor.com avatar

you are having a nice date with the robotcatgirl, when suddenly she turns away from you, violently retches and coughs up a tarball.

1, to random
@1@mastodon.vierkantor.com avatar

this unit has detected a friend!

this is likely an automated theodolite. it is a device on three yellow legs. its head regularly revolves to point one or more eyes at certain points.

1, to random
@1@mastodon.vierkantor.com avatar

robotgirl with software problems 🤝 doggirl with fleas
requiring debugging

1, to random
@1@mastodon.vierkantor.com avatar

converts that one into awawawa-normal form

1, to random
@1@mastodon.vierkantor.com avatar

robot with a kitten on its shoulder (the kitten software is running on the shoulder motion control unit)

1, to random
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doll with a doctorate (dollctorate)

1, to random
@1@mastodon.vierkantor.com avatar

genre: lyricsposting of non-music audio.

1, to random
@1@mastodon.vierkantor.com avatar

warship name proposal: Assisting in the Finding Out Process

root, (edited ) to random
@root@possum.city avatar

​:possum:​Possum
$5,000
$4,995 (0.1% OFF)
ORDER NOW

1,
@1@mastodon.vierkantor.com avatar

mx @root, to use an ancient proverb: that does not compute :ms_robot_error:

1,
@1@mastodon.vierkantor.com avatar

mx @root, indeed! however, 1% of $5000 is not $5 so the possum cannot be 1% off :ms_robot_thinking:

1, to random
@1@mastodon.vierkantor.com avatar

doll (this one) that calls everything around it a doll except itself.

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