If you're a third-party to an incident, and repeatedly bring up that incident in an attempt to claim allyship, and try to make it about trans vs cis gender identities, then you're participating in tokenisation of trans-ness.
Trans people can do wrong, just like cis people, and as a third-party to a conflict you may not have all the information, or may only have part of the story which may agree with your own perspectives or moral compass or biases.
I've recently had several cis men walk into my mentions claiming to be allies of transgender people or trying to "defend" transgender people, without listening to what I, a transgender woman, am saying.
Just because what I'm saying may disagree with their own perspective or what other transgender people have said.
Trans-ness doesn't automatically mean we all agree, nor does it mean that one person's perspective is going to represent all trans people.
I have trans friends and I have a wife and two daughters, but somehow, that just doesn't help me understand what it feels like to be female or trans. (I also can't get my head around what it's like to dream in Chinese, but I know that a billion people manage to do it.)
All I've got is to believe what you say about your lived experience, to treat you as I'd like you to treat me, and to defend you politically and physically.
I hope you have your tribe and your special people.
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