You ever just look in the mirror and laugh because no seriously what the fuck must have happened to make this possible? Like reality broke, right? It's the only possible explanation. #TransJoy#TheSelfiesMustFlow
Like I know intellectually that most of my life is unchanged from two or three years ago but it all feels completely different and new.
Things in my life used to matter but now they MATTER. There were things I liked but now I love them. What used to trigger a hollow, abstract aesthetic appreciation (the best my heart could do then) now gets this glorious full-body joy.
Went for a wee walk with @dana earlier to see the sunset. Got some nice photos. There wasn't actually that much wind but this skirt seems to dance like there is anyway...
On the way to a meetup with wonderful trans women yesterday, my mom called with a #TransJoy story that I had to share.
Her good friend’s daughter B. has a 4-year-old. On the way to school last week B. noticed they were looking extremely sad, asked what was wrong, and her kid said “I just wish I had a magic wand that could make me a girl.”
Right away, B. simply answered “You don’t need a magic wand. If you want to be a girl, you can just be a girl.”
She told the teachers when they arrived, everyone was immediately supportive, and now B’s daughter is out as a girl and filled with joy that she can be herself. Quick as that, no ridicule, no gatekeeping, no hesitation.
There's nothing like that first Mother's Day card. Got mine from my son last year and I was a mess of happiness for most of the day. And I still have it propped up on my bookcase behind me.
Looked in the mirror for bedtime ablutions and burst out laughing because I got away with it, this absurd thing that I believed for so long was completely impossible, but there I am in the mirror looking like myself.
I think the 90s and early 2000s left an odd imprint on me...these are some of the most euphoric outfits I have. An oversized sweatshirt with paint spots and a skull. Ripped jeans with a ribbed tank top. Why does being able to wear these and look like this feel like achieving gender goals for me? 😅
Seriously, when I would fantasize about being a girl as a teenager, I frequently imagined wearing jeans and a ribbed tank top...and having the curves I do now and hair like this...if that egg could see me now, they would cry with relief and joy
I know I have often posted some sad things, and some panicky things here.
I just want to say out loud to myself and whoever else is around, this:
Since I have started to accept that I am trans, and started to believe it, I have experienced days, no, weeks at a time, that have been the happiest times of my life.
All 53 years of it.
Nothing special happening. No great accomplishments or windfalls. Just... joy, I guess?
Joy.
Just being happy, and feeling good, just, IDK, because.