If you’re ever not quite in the mood to smash your face into a mirror a’la 1998’s hit movie Disturbing Behavior, but for some reason really want to be, try explaining to your elderly parent how to search their iPhone files for a pdf and then attempt to teach them how to edit it. Voila- Disturbing Behavior.
If, when on your way home from the Chinese buffet your husband really wanted to go to but you were actually wanting to stay home but went anyway because you are a good wife, your astigmatism acts up and you notice an armadillo start to cross the road and you try to straddle him with your vehicle but forget it’s a very low car compared to your old one and accidentally run over him and immediately start sobbing for his poor little armadillo family, be sure to continue driving through your tears so the policeman who is constantly driving around your neighborhood for some reason doesn’t pull you over for erratic driving, so you hold it together as much as possible until you get home and give your child their sour patch kids and immediately start bawling again.
Why do I always have to decide what I want for dinner I don’t Know what I want for dinner I just want you to tell me what You want for dinner and I will go along with it my god why is this so impossible to understand gaaaah
@mentallyalex I’m totally not opposed to picking up pizza but apparently someone other than me wants to go to a real restaurant and be served like a king
Hello friends. A strange request.
I recently acquired an Apple Pencil and am learning to draw on my ipad.
As I am highly, highly, indecisive, I would so appreciate ideas for simple things to draw. Perhaps it would be fun in madlibs form like adjective/noun/place. (ie silly, duck, bealls outlet in 1992).
Any suggestions would be great.
Thank you. 🙏
@mentallyalex Stylized might be not the actual verb I am able to deliver, but it will definitely be a Cheshire Cat (or just a similarly colored, poorly drawn cat).
Recently went to Disney and was asked by my child to stop here and bring home a giant cookie. Did you know the line can last up to four hours (because people are insane). Thankfully we made it in 45 mins. Also did you know walking around Epcot is equivalent to 15,000 steps and if you wear your Vans skateboard shoes you will get blisters and exacerbate your tendonitis but at least you will still look cool. 🎉
Note To Self: While flirting with the BCBS insurance guy will definitely make him smile and perhaps even chuckle a bit, it won’t do a damn bit of good to erase any of your non-met deductible charges. Bastard.
No matter if the only task today is to bring your child to the orthodontist and perhaps pick up a bag of snacks from Dollar Generál, it is vitally important to accentuate your bellbottom yoga pants and slightly too big men’s faded gray Old Navy hoodie by curling and teasing your hair a la 1990s Vidal Sassoon magazine ad and wearing the most sexy dark blood red Elvira lipstick feasibly possible. You know, just in case.
Dropping off banana bread at my mom’s retirement complex, and some of the residents are sitting in the parking lot smoking cigarettes listening to DMX Y'all Gonna Make Me Lose My Mind Up in Here Up in Here.
