Spørsmål til deg som er/fremstår som mann: Hender det at damer legger an på deg ut av det blå, altså uten at dere har vekslet mer enn noen få ord i forkant?
"I’m bi and my wife is straight and so we’re both, broadly, talking to men on apps. One big, fat, throbbing truth has emerged: queer men are wittier and better at flirting than straight men."
The most joyous thing I've seen today is a man on TikTok extolling the merits of dating nerds such as himself:
"Don't feel like going out? Good. I usually don't. Why would I spend $120 on three drinks and a cover charge in a nightclub when for the exact same amount of money we can get the brand new Mario Kart, a bottle of tequila, Chinese takeout, and spend the entire night in our pajamas?"
Here are some dating tips, nothing grand, but can be useful.
Know how to say “I love you” in the #Filipino language because we have two for romantic relationships.
“Mahal kita” = This is your “I love you” in English. It can be used romantically or for family and relatives.
mahal = ma (as in “mama”) + hal (as in ha + L) which means “love”
kita = ki (as in ‘ki’ in “kit”) + ta (as in ‘ta’ in “tank”) which means “you”
“Iniibig kita” = This can be translated into English as “I deeply love you” or “I deeply desire you” or both; and should only be used romantically. You could say it is a poetic way of saying “I love you”, however, it is more than that.
iniibig = i-ni-i-big (i = as in the sound of saying the letter “e” = iihh) which means “[deeply] love”
Understand what “mutual understanding” or “m.u.” is.
It's actually simple. “Mutual understanding” is that stage wherein two people are already comfortable with each other, but are still not officially dating. Usually, they do not know they like each other; however, there are those who choose it because they are not sure yet (especially permission from parents).
If the person you like decides to be in an M.U. relationship, don't take it negatively. It is a sign that they are considering dating you, just that, there are still things they need to settle on their end. Give them some time.
You need to clarify your relationship.
Never assume that you are dating. I've seen “couples” who never made it clear and later was shocked the other partner finally have a “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”. The surprised party felt “cheated” but in reality, no one cheated, they were never dating in the first place!
It is important to make your relationship clear.
Are you dating exclusively? “Exclusively”, meaning, there are no one else both parties are dating.
Or, are you in an “open relationship”? An “open relationship” is a relationship wherein you allow each other to have other dates.
Are you actually dating, M.U., or just friends?
Are you “officially” dating? “Officially”, meaning, both of your parents know (regardless if they agreed to it or not).
“PDA” or “Public Display of Affection”
This is publicly holding hands, hugging, kissing (cheeks, lips), being overly sweet with each other.
Filipinos are generally fine with it. If you don't like it, a Filipino date might misinterpret it as you not being proud of them. Thus, if it is not in your culture to show PDA, then make it clear with the Filipino you are dating, to avoid misunderstandings.
There are also some Filipinos who are not into PDA, so, you need to be open about it. And limits.
You are not just dating one person, you are dating the entire family.
Filipinos are family-centric. And when it comes to Filipino, be sure to treat their families well.
This is a good thing. If your partner is telling you what to do, it means they really want to date you.
That's just 5 when it comes to dating. Marriage proposal is a whole different matter. We have our own form “dowry”, although less practised today, it is still good to know, especially if the Filipino you want to marry is traditional. (They may not tell you anything because you're a foreigner, but deep inside they're expecting it.)
Anyone ever used Alovoa.com? I found their app in F-Droid and it seems like a great project. A privacy-respecting, donation-funded dating site, no fees or ads, all source code published. My only grizzle is that the app seems to open in Chrome, rather than being properly native, although they're apparently working on that.
Let us raise the average IQ of Filipinos by refusing to date and breed with Marcos apologists, Diehard Duterte Supporters (DDS), and Filipino-Americans who vote Republican.