The mastodon-native version will hopefully be up later this week!
Also, a very big thanks to @Impossible_PhD for not only publishing both of these intimate pieces on gender trauma on her own blog, but also for editing and helping me refine these pieces. You're amazing and wonderful Doc! 💖
$1932 before Friday or my world falls apart even faster - the work I am able to do needs attention so that I can have a chance to do it - I'm tired of having blood on my hands from coporate swine I can't live in peace that way I will perish
Disabled people are treated like our bodies, our stories, are public property - especially so for those of us who are Aboriginal, who are Black, or People of Colour, who are trans or queer, or read as women.
Consider that if someone with a disability is posting their mutual aid links, either give/share/support or just move on.
Don't message us asking why we're disabled or why we're not on disability support pensions - that's nunya. NUNYA.
Unless you know me fairly well, you probably don't realize that I am not a "holidays" person. Between #autism, #cPTSD, and #grief, I find the excessive cheer exhausting. The required #masking of my true feelings wears me out.
But please know, I don't begrudge anyone their holidays.
Dark times sucked me in pretty badly but I'm okay for now because some lovely people reached out to check on me - check on your friends it makes a difference
I'm trying to make rent through my #KofiPage hoping for #MutualAid to keep doing what matters to me really hoping to make it to #SaveandRaid in February and be a fool playing #HalfLife while dizzy
"Positing that the idea of an innate core gender identity is simplistic, problematic, and, even, potentially harmful to LGBTQ+ people, they instead argue that gender is something all subjects acquire. Trauma, they provocatively propose, sometimes has a share in that acquisition."
"In their way of thinking, lived trauma as well as structural and intergenerationally transmitted traumatic debris may become a resource for transness and queerness. Such a suggestion importantly counters conservative accounts that identify trauma as disrupting or “warping” some putatively “normal” gender."
Holy moly. I didn't think I had gender dysphoria (like it's normal to grow up and be an adult thinking you're "bad at being a girl/woman") but this has blown my mind in an aha-holy shit kinda way. Amazing work here.
“Complex Trauma Disorder? I hardly know her!”
(Part 1 of 2 on the topic of Gender Trauma)
The year is 2022 and Joscelyn is insisting to a friend, “There’s no way I have PTSD. I’ve never experienced any real or serious trauma, you know?” This is when the deadpan narrator voice comes over and ironically explains, “Joscelyn did, in fact, have PTSD.”
I wouldn’t be surprised if some of you have a similar experience, thinking you really can’t claim to have PTSD and downplay what you went through thinking it’s melodramatic to describe it as “trauma.” Especially for those of us that don’t have any specific, acute moments of trauma, like being physically hit or sexually assaulted. Nothing we went through really maps directly onto that kind of PTSD. So we all must just be inherently broken, terrible monsters that don’t deserve anything good, right?
Doctor appt today, and he happily wrote up all the pain relief I needed prescribed for my shoulder.
I thought it might be difficult to get him to prescribe endone, panadeine forte, mobic, panadol osteo, and palexia.. but we went over how I was taking them all and he agreed that I was fine with how I was approaching it - and that taking such a variety of things meant actually taking less opioid based meds because I was able to keep on top of the pain with things like panadol osteo.
We also did my mental health plan and I hit a 40 on the K10.. which is Very Fucking High. We talked about that, and about how therapy is helping and that a big part of the 40 score is probably actually pain related as well.
He agreed that I showed great insight into my illness and that I was comfortable with being vulnerable enough to ask for help, so I get to skip hospitalisation (fucking yay!) because I have a good support system and I know how to access acute assistance if needed.
But still, 40 was even higher than I was expecting tbh. I'm usually around a 25-27.
The fantastic @Impossible_PhD has been writing a powerful series about trans trauma over the last few weeks. It's well worth a read and subscribe if you are trans or you've ever wanted to understand more about what it is that trans people deal with.
I'll even broaden it out to - so many of the #cPTSD experiences that us trans folks deal with generalize and have their echos in all #neurodiverse , #autistic, #adhd , and other marginalized peoples' childhoods. It turns out, growing up "different" really fucks you up in a whole shitload of ways.
I've started a new Fetlife group for disabled people. It was started after it became apparent that the other group was going to allow chasers to fetishise and objectify disabled people and that the group wasn't safe for us.
I’m so freaked out by medical stuff (not to mention severe pda) I’ve never had a primary care doctor only a pediatrician 10+ years ago and urgent care visits when needed since then. Anyway. Now I’m at a doctor and it’s the worst I hate it here it smells disgusting and I want to leave how do people do this every few weeks help 😭
Imagine setting a straight chair against a wall, and the position required to sit up perfectly straight in that chair. Now imagine you are 8 or 9 years old, and there is no chair.
Imagine holding that position for hours at a time, for some minor infraction you weren't aware of. That was my father's favorite punishment for me.
I leg pressed the maximum weight on a Universal gym as a freshman. Not just once. Multiple reps without breaking a sweat.
I've been asking myself a lot of big questions and doing a lot of introspection into my #neurodiversity and #cptsd and wooooo boy did I not realize the definitions I thought for a lot of things were actually backwards.
Like I always thought things like '#perfectionism' was about trying to be perfect in every aspect in your life but it's the opposite: You refuse to allow yourself to fail. To not be good at things right away. To not take 'better than last time' as enough.
Wir brauchen aufgrund der fehlenden Barrierefreiheit in Berlin um weiter arbeiten/studieren zu können ein Dreirad mit E Antrieb. Alle Töpfe über Uni und StudierendenWERK gingen bereits für andere Ausgaben drauf. Habt ihr noch Ideen wo wir 1500 beantragen könnten für ein gebrauchtes?